caught bf whacking it to a pic of my bff-and confusion ensues

[besttrip]

this is normal. even is you had a sister, and he had her picture.

it's nothing against you.

Sex is a fantastic way to explore your mind. It's like a drug. Using your imagination to get yourself off is way safer than say.. a vacuum cleaner.

 

[SigmaSis03]

this is normal. even is you had a sister, and he had her picture.

it's nothing against you.

Sex is a fantastic way to explore your mind. It's like a drug. Using your imagination to get yourself off is way safer than say.. a vacuum cleaner.

True. Though I think it's telling that he chose such a risky situation in which to explore his mind, ie. in his girlfriend's dorm room with a picture of her best friend open on the computer. I know full well my boyfriend masturbates and I know he looks at and thinks of other women. I don't care that he does, I don't care who those women are and I don't know who they are, which in my opinion, is how it should be. Now, if I walked in and saw him looking at pictures of my friend, I'd be devastated. I could never look at him or her the same again; not because of what he did, but because I witnessed it and am now forced to live with that image. What he does when and where I can't see is his business, and I think that's normal and healthy; what he does when and where I can reasonably be expected to walk in, as in this case, well, that's my business too. His actions were short-sighted at best, disrespectful at worst.

Maybe it's nothing at all, but maybe it's something. If it's something, which you can figure out better than we can, I'd propose he has issues acting on impulse without fully thinking things through, particularly when it comes to sex. Usually, this type of thing is irrespective of the sex problems in your relationship. Something to consider because it may or may not cause you more difficulties in the long-term.

 

[The Monkey Mantra]

I think the thrill of maybe getting caught was ninety percent of the turn-on for him! I also think he had hoped it wouldn't actually *happen*.

I had a very similar experience to this, but it involved my boyfriend accidentally leaving me a voicemail message of him jerkin' off with some dude on the webcam. It was a shitstorm, just 'cause I had no idea what the fuck was going on. Sounded like the real thing to me! It really sucked, and yeah, it hurts, but intellectually, if you like this guy, move on. It's so not as big of a deal as it feels like. Emotions get riled up when we think of our partners sharing this kind of fantasy with someone else. Part of life is learning how to separate yourself from those emotions while still expressing them in a healthy way. Good luck!