caught bf whacking it to a pic of my bff-and confusion ensues

[The_Idler]

about someone I didn't like or found ugly, I'd possibly be a bit disgusted. Hell they're my friends because I think they're attractive mentally and usually physically.

i know what you mean.
if it was some dirty bellend id be so ergh... itd make me cringe

i mean if it was one of my friends.... man i would be pissed off and jealous,
but id feel only the need to fuck her really hard, after watching her jack off for as long as possible first.

 

[Will01996]

And you are the type of guy I never want to end up with


[I didn't want that to sound as mean as it could, that's just how I feel]

I doubt tells prospective GF's all this.

 

[arcarsenal]

I think maybe she should sleep with her boyfriend more often.


Did anyone think that maybe he was bored hanging out in her room by himself and didn't think she would be back so soon?

Why is the assumption that the guy is a creep and was doing something super perverse? It seems more likely to me that he was bored, and that since he couldn't expect to fuck his girlfriend when she got back, he just wanted to chill out.

 

[DivineMomenT]

Why do so many people think this is weird? Its weird that he got caught....

Sometimes you just have to relieve a little stress and "wacking" off is the perfect way to do that. Maybe he didnt want you to see porn sites on the history of your computer. If he would have busted a nut a few minutes earlier, you would have never found out and never made this post. I can see how you could have perceived this as strange but there are plenty of other things you could worry about.

When I am single, I walk by girls every day and think about how awesome it would be to fuck them. When I am in a relationship, I walk by girls every day and think about how awesome it would be to fuck them. Big deal.

I think you do need to work on some issues involving your self image etc. Don't sweat the small shit girl.....

 

[Beochslapper]

(Edit: shit, person above me already hit this one)
To play Devil's advocate (to some extent):

Maybe he had to use her facebook pic because it was already in your internet history. Had he looked at legit porn, it would've left a trail via the browsing history. Had he cleared the history afterwards, that would look sketchy as well. Thus, since he knew you already had her facebook pic in your history, he used that as a "safe" alternative.

I can't say I blame him for treating himself to a jerk if he's deprived, although I think he should've been smarter about the situation (i.e. locking the door, reacting quicker, not doing it in your room, etc).

 

[Perpetual Indulgence]

so i leave my room for twenty minutes to go to the library. i open my door and hes looking at the pic of my friend dressed as a french maid. i didnt even realize he had his pants down until after i asked him what the fuck he was doing. he started apologizing and i started crying. i wouldnt let him touch me, i just kept bawling my eyes out.

I would have laughed and poked fun at him. Then I would have helped him finish.

 

[Infernal]

I think you have every right to be disturbed. I have no issue with masturbation and do it frequently and have in the past jerked off to pictures of my wife's friends. Granted, I usually took the pictures, and the subject were unclothed, but I would think a certain amount of respect is to be had in this situation.

Now, because he started apologizing I would bet that he knows this area is taboo and that implies a lack of respect.

Oh, and hearing any woman or man use the term BFF is grounds for immediate termination.

 

[Fadednjaded]

i think its kinda fucked up thats its your friend in all but showing him slutty pictures then taking off and leaving him hanging quite often i might of done the same thing in his postion

 

[Titus]

FYI I think that him whacking it to pics of your friend is completely normal but doing so in your room after you left and are likely to return soon, and on top of that with his pants down, is def messed up.

If he thought she was hot and wanted to whack it to pics of her common decency requires he wait until he gets home and does so privately.

I also think you did nothing wrong showing him pics of her, unless you have some issues to work out in psychotherapy where your low self esteem kind of unconsciously drives you to create circumstances (unconsciously, so you are not aware your doing so) that lead to situations where you are put in a position to feel jealous of a female. A therapist will be able to understand this (unless you go to a feminist therapist who goes by the men are bad, women are good school of thought or the men are bad women are victims of mens badness school of thought) and ferret it out over time. Not a few sessions.

But it is def whack of him doing this in your room if he expected you to be back within the hour or so at a minimum.

 

[Th3BigMac]

Ummmmmm....because it's her best friend?? I'm sure she wouldn't care about a stripper or some chick in a porn...but her best friend? Cmon now. That's a bit harsh. There's plenty of women to fantasize about, why did he have to choose that one?

But shes a fuckin Chick FRIEnd OR NO Friend shes a Girl a Girl That is probly more HOt then her. ok ok ok I know why you are sooooo jealous ,,, Oh why didnt I see this before. Let me guess,,,, YEs you friend is HOtter then you!!!! and you are so jealous so mad that your bf would even think of wanking to her pic. IN your mind your thinkin what if he leaves me and goes withher? if thats the case,,, GEt your act together. there willl be plenty of people in this world that will look hotter then you. IF he really loves you wich im sure he does then he wont fuckin leave you. NOw the thing that your doing getting so mad and shit yeah... you are so fuckin pushin him away. and you know what he may leave you if you keep doing that to him. So learn to appreciate your man and dont be so hard on him Guys are guys and we fantasize about shit we wouldnt think of tellling you. So unless you dont want him to leave you stop FUCKIN pushin him away. 8(

 

[randycaver]

^ someone has anger issues

 

[Ham-milton]

You guys really think this is weird?

I would be masterbating to your hot friend in a maids outfit too-especially if i knew her and already thought she was hot.

But i guess thats just me...and yes I am perverted I know this but so are a lot of people and your boyfriend sure is and you're not so i hate to break it you but i dont think the two of you are going to be very compatible

not really- but the timing was pretty awful.

otherwise... no, I'm about the same.

 

[Ham-milton]

I would have laughed and poked fun at him. Then I would have helped him finish.

You and my wife should think about switching places for a while. Or forever, whatever comes last.

 

[SA]

i dont know why i did that. maybe i was subconsciously testing him

Tests in a relationship seldom lead to a positive result. Sorry, I have nothing else to add.

 

[Th3BigMac]

^ someone has anger issues

lol no man not at all just want to get things thru peoples head how big of a fuckin deal she made this.

 

[LilMamii]

How do you know she was 'hotter'? She couldn't off just been a pretty girl he wanted to wank to? Just because he wanked to her, doesn't mean she's oh so much hotter than his girlfriend. Even if a guy had a perfect 10, I'm sure he would jerk off to other girls STILL. You don't need to make the OP feel like shit.

 

[randycaver]

lol no man not at all just want to get things thru peoples head how big of a fuckin deal she made this.

hey i hate to sound like alisdair but everybody has their own ideas of what a big deal is, what is acceptable and unacceptable.

it's unfortunate that sometimes people don't see eye to eye with what that is but if you want a relationship to work sometime you have to try to see it from another perspective instead of just yours. if you're not willing, then there are compatibility issues. people need to learn to choose their battles, not everything is worth fighting over.

 

[The_Idler]

well composed response.

 

[Th3BigMac]

hey i hate to sound like alisdair but everybody has their own ideas of what a big deal is, what is acceptable and unacceptable.

it's unfortunate that sometimes people don't see eye to eye with what that is but if you want a relationship to work sometime you have to try to see it from another perspective instead of just yours. if you're not willing, then there are compatibility issues. people need to learn to choose their battles, not everything is worth fighting over.

uhhhh what?

 

[IAmTheWalrus]

im not trying to be the thought police. i cant make him not be attracted to other girls. realistically, i cant really be upset about it, bc im attracted to other guys. i understand that even though she is my friend, doesnt make her not hot to him. and thats okay.

mu problem is just that my problem. i do have insecurity issues, with this girl in particular. i dont know if he knew that, so i cant blame him. i know he just did it bc he was horny, he didnt think he would be getting any from me, and i dont believe he wanted to get caught. we have discussed all of this.

he asked me if i wanted him to delete his facebook account so he wouldnt have access to the pic, but i thought that was dumb bc he could still access the pic and i dont want to be one of those crazy gf's (if ot already lol )that makes the bf give up things that have the potential to make me uncomortable. he also promised to never do it again, something else i thought was dumb bc again, i am not the thought police. nor do i want to be. even though i would prefer he didnt (tying into something i said earlier: i guess a better way of saying dont all girls want to be the only one their guy is attracted to is to say that i would prefer that i am and if im not, thats okay but i would also prefer not to have to see it), i dont think its healthy to supress those urges. if he has to get them out, better that he does it in his head than in reality.

as i may have mentioned, i feel like the problems i am left with from this sitation are: my own insecurity, which caused me to get so upset that he was looking at a good friend of mine (not my bff lol apparently some of you are bothered by that abbreviation-i agree it is a little cheesy, but it was for the sake of a short title i swear! ), the fact that he has urges he cannot control, and the fact that those same urges could, despite his protests, possibly cause him to cheat on me one day. i do believe that he loves me, not my friend.

but i want to try to work through it. i talked to my counselor about getting him in and maybe us doing some couples therapy, not bc i think we are a fucked up couple so to speak, but bc we do have issues that i think its better to deal with than ignore. can u tell im an aspiring psychologist??

anyways thanks again guys for the input!