car idle.

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

And I hear a car idle outside,
but I turn my head to the tv.
Because,
I made you leave.
And I know you didn't come back around,
to hear what I really had to say.
Sad maybe.
Because the whole time you were here,
you asked me 'what is wrong'?
...like you didn't know.
And I'll sit in the bar with you,
once again,
while you are on the phone.
And you can tell the person on the other end,
that you'll be there soon... that you're
'doing stuff'
but go do it somewhere else for once....
Go do it somewhere else,
where someone else is too blind to see,
what you are doing.
Go do it to someone else,
who is too fucking stupid
to ask you, 'what is up?'
And yeah,
I thought about calling you,
but thought 2 things.
Either one:
You'd say:
'What the fuck are you doing calling this late?'
or Two:
You wouldn't be there.
And right now,
at this second,
I'd rather wonder either of those possiblities.
...than hearing your voice,
lying to me.
And I don't know why I set myself up for it,
time and time again.
When, I know the outcome.
Perhaps,
there's something about me,
that wants to toy with you.
Because I am smarter.
Something you don't realize.
I know where you are.
Prick.
So act,
Like I am another dumb fucking whore you fucked,
but I guantuee you that I am ahead of this game.
It's something you will never look back on.
But don't worry.
I don't expect you to.
I expect something WAY fucking better.
And that's something you can't give.