• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

car accident/near death/severe ptsd

P

Professer

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 16, 2012
Messages
1,237
Location
Whirlin around on Spaceship Earth
So driving home from walmart, some prick in front of me decides to slam on his brakes right in front of me for some reason. Swerving out of the way immediately to avoid hitting/hurting him, lost control for a bit this is the result...

0405150938-00.jpg


0405150940-01.jpg


Miraculously I survived with just a few cuts/bruises. The problem is, this was so traumatizing my mind is totally fucked now. Having frequent flashbacks throughout the day of the accident scene happening, constant anxiety, afraid to leave the house/go in or ride in a car, extreme emotional responses from things that remind me of the incident, from anxious rage or crying my heart out, havent been able to sleep for 3 days since the accident, episodes of fear that my parents are out to get me and harm me, auditory hallucinations that my parents are yelling at me claiming im hurt and need to be taken away, paranoia (especially after the redneck state trooper really harassed me and threatened to arrest me once I started telling my version of the accident WHEN HE ASKED because I look like a gay hippie (literally)I guess, and was so shaken up right after all that happened I was talking a bit differently, resulting in the blame for all of this being put on ME!!!), drinking to try and control the anxiety but the trauma and symptoms are still underlying, just to name a few symptoms....

I've ordered a gram of diclazepam to help me get out of the house and see a psych/lawyer soon. I'm assuming this is all PTSD. Dunno what else to say really, other than I feel totally fucked and need help. Just bringing these two pics up to share has freaked me out and brought me to tears again.
 
Last edited:
oh they were working before, leme work on that

edit: should work now... I hope my trauma problems go down with therapy/seeing a psych/time -- I recently read that it can just be a couple months kinda thing... I cant see it being this severe for long term, again, happened 3 days agi
 
Last edited:
Wow, the pics are working now.

holy that wood through the window... I'd be traumatized too.. :O
I'm so sorry to hear this happened.
Just keep in mind that the odds of that happening again are so slim. I know it's hard to comprehend after something so frightening happens, but you are safe now. Trauma can last a while but with the right thought methods you can overcome it.

Amazing that it just missed you! You are so lucky!!

~Verri
 
You can't stop living... as simple as that. Be glad that you made it out alive and continue on with your life. You could of died, but you didn't!! I know it's scary, but you can't let this stop you. Talk it out, see a counselor, and remember, anything can happen. You can die at any time... we all are going to eventually... you can't stop it. However, when that day comes it does, but for now there is no need to think of it. I know this sounds stupid and cliche, but honestly, this is what you need to tell yourself/believe to get over this, and you will. Just please try not to get dependent on any prescription drug to help your anxiety... I suggest dealing with the situation with the methods I suggested above before depending on anything else (I am more so saying avoid things such as benzos).

Good luck <3 I am glad you survived

P.s. this is coming from someone with major anxiety/PTSD, but I too can't let any of that stop me anymore and I don't for the most part
 
xstayfadedx said:
You can't stop living... as simple as that. Be glad that you made it out alive and continue on with your life. You could of died, but you didn't!! I know it's scary, but you can't let this stop you. Talk it out, see a counselor, and remember, anything can happen. You can die at any time... we all are going to eventually... you can't stop it. However, when that day comes it does, but for now there is no need to think of it. I know this sounds stupid and cliche, but honestly, this is what you need to tell yourself/believe to get over this, and you will. Just please try not to get dependent on any prescription drug to help your anxiety... I suggest dealing with the situation with the methods I suggested above before depending on anything else (I am more so saying avoid things such as benzos).

Good luck <3 I am glad you survived

P.s. this is coming from someone with major anxiety/PTSD, but I too can't let any of that stop me anymore and I don't for the most part
Click to expand...

I agree with everything stayfaded has to say. You can push through this <3

It's great you came here for support as well because it's really nice to be able to talk to others with PTSD and similar experiences that have caused trauma, especially if you don't want to leave the house to do it. The Recovery Support forum here has definitely helped me in times of crisis, just being able to connect with others with true experiences and who actually care to respond on their own free will not getting paid to do it. Which shouldn't be relevant but it's nice to know people care about more than money to help someone.

~Verri
 
Yeah thank you for support/any that will come, it really helps with this monster I'm facing. It's interesting to hear back from someone with anxiety/PTSD too. I'm not seeing this as a 'life sentence' and am gonna try and work through it, The symptoms are just so severe at first now... I have spiritual beliefs which are a drivin force to get better, and keep me from loosing all hope in life. I mean even before now, I'd have gone down a terrible path without it.I still am trying to stay optimistic when I can between my recurring episodes. My parents sure dont help, completely insensitive to what I'm going through, they act like I'm simply just facing a misdemeanor charge.

Though it just a misdemeanor (leaving the scene of a crime) and I'm certain wont hold up in court due to the troopers total neglect to me and my side of the story, literally threatening to arrest me after asking for my version of the accident and cutting me off 100% because i was shaken up, stuttering some, since I almost died and everything (saying I was trying to play 'games with him' and get out of 'trouble'), and neglecting to go look at all the skid marks further up the road which proved what happened. Then he went talking with the driver who slammed his brakes infront of me for ~30min, who fed him a bunch of lies to cover his ass, which the trooper later came to yell at me (and my parents who were there by that point) saying he NEVER hit brakes, I was going 'over 60mph' when I was truly going '5 over' (45mph, limit was 40), that I passed out from some drugs when the incident happened (I wasnt on anything and passed breathalyzer/sobriety test before) and that I was trying to flee the scene of the crime after hitting him. All these bullshit lies. That 2x4 went through the hood and windshield immediately after I lost control after trying to not hit the other driver, and it took me 20 seconds or so to stop my car after that due to the panic and stuff (my foot got caught under the brake pedal initially). Also I never was given any papers about the misdemeanor charge I got or a police report of the incident. He just yelled at my family once his 'investigation' was over that my court date is at x time on y date, saying I'll be arrested if I dont show up (duh).

Just let me ask you this, sorry to get carried away in the other details, but who the fuck would try to flee the scene of a 'crime' after that 2x4 immediately came through the windshield nearly killing me as soon as I tried to avoid hitting that prick? And what's with this aggro state trooper? Once my dad got to the scene he went and took video of the skid marks from where the guy slammed his brakes plus my skid marks right behind that where I swerved away (hitting my brakes) to avoid him -- and my dad tried to get the state trooper to watch the video or walk back a bit to see the skid marks himself. Again, he freaked out and threatened to arrest my dad too, saying he already went up there and saw no skid marks. We have the proof!

Again I got carried away again, but the way this redneck state trooper (you should've seen how fucked his teeth were - FL state) was so judgemental based upon the carnage he's seen after the accident happened (the sheriff 1st responder was very nice and pleasant, I've typically had good experiences with sheriffs) and based upon my appearance (long hippy hair, hoode on cuz im constantly cold, pajama pants, and rather effeminate in how I carry myself naturally, am kinda obviously gay but I still don't "wear it on the outside").

His harassment and neglect just made everything worse, that's all. I know it's a lot of text, but it's been therapeutic to vent it all out. Like I mentioned, my parents are upset about totaling my dad;s car (even though we have full insurance coverage) and being very insensitive. It's really really helped typing all this out, but i can' scroll up and keep seeing those pics. Was hard enough to just ;just post them to share.
 
Last edited:
I hope that you can get a lawyer to straighten this out--that was actually pretty great that your Dad thought to record the skid marks since the cop was being such a dick. My sons and some friends got in a horrendous accident coming home from snowboarding one time and the female state trooper treated them all like shit because they were young guys and she was sure they had done something wrong. Even when she couldn't find anything, she treated them not like accident victims but like criminals. Her profiling pretty much cemented their already healthy disrespect for cops.

This is very 'early days' since the accident and it makes total sense that you would still be traumatized. When you start to feel the symptoms of a panic attack, first try to slow your breathing. Then take a verbal inventory of what is happening in your body, i.e. "I can feel my heart racing" or "I feel short of breath". It sounds too simple but coming out of the mind and back into the body is very grounding and it's a great tool for calming yourself during a panic attack.

Maybe this would be a good time to discuss some of the judgment you feel from your parents. Let them know you are suffering from trauma from what just happened and it is not helpful to feel the stress of their criticism; you need their support!<3
 
StoSeems easier if that post went through my head sometimes..

I gotta edit in while that would've freed all my stress, I've never been one for suicidal idealization. I like to personally think I'm saved (and have been in legal situations before) to fulfill my purpose on earth. (I couldn't just break down nuts without it). Be peace and love, everyone. I'm hanging in there during my more stable times, but feel like I'm in a constant fight for life on my damnation with not.

My spiritual side is my primary grounding force, and i even let that get weak.
 
Last edited:
Hi Professor, I just wanted to tell you I was in a similar scary crash in Feb. Rolled 3 times, partially ejected from passenger window. Just want to tell you I empathize with you completely and everything you feel is normal. I do want to tell you my SEVERE anxiety is gone; but I won't lie- I still am very anxious driving.

It does get better, trust me. It'll be okay. ?
 
Wow-so glad to see no blood on that awful looking 4x4 sticking through your cab like a spear. Blessings and prayers-it will get better..Find someone you can talk to that might be able to help you work through your awful feelings. So sorry-I'd be devastated too :/
 
yeah im bet hes happy i managed to stop before hitting his precious sign... fucker

and GetMeBackToNormal, hell yes I will be taking drugs. I have to be sedated with benzos and lie in the back sear of the car so I cant see outside our car to get to any kind of doctors appointment. Anything else I WILL NOT leave the house. And yeah, I dose during the day too trying to help quell the hellish shit im going through. Dont worry, I have experience with benzos, 350mg diazepam daily was the peak of my habbit, and I tapered off that in a month. I feel I can handle self medicating. Infact, I'm excited for my gram of clonazolam and etizolam powder to arrive in the mail in 1.5 hours. The gin wasnt cutting it.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top