Can't wait to get past this.

[Backonthenatch]

New member here.
I've been lurking for a long while, trying to work up the balls to get myself back to the real me. Reading others' experiences has helped me to get to this point. Thanks to all concerned for that.
I'm 52 and have been using and misusing opiates for about 15 years. It started slow but the last few years it has gotten out of hand and I need to STOP. I can't stand this drug having control over me anymore.
I have a "close friend" that supplied me with relatively free opiates for about 11 years of my story. Obviously, I was left few options when that suddenly stopped. For the last 3 or 4 years I have been street sourcing my supply. Expensive to say the least. I have been married for 26 years and have 3 Kids, none of them know of this. It hurt to type that.
Over the last 2 years I have built tolerance to the point that I am using 120 to 160 mg a day of any concievable combination of Norco, Vicodin, Percocet, and Oxycontin, rarely enjoying any euphoria to speak of. My pain issues are real but do NOT require the daily dose that I depend on just to feel normal. 6 to 7 hours after a dose, I start to feel symptoms. I am terrified of detoxing.
5 days ago I decided to start weaning myself down. I have been at 100mg/day since then and I have definitely had a few issues, so I am going to take this very very slowly. My plan is to go down to 80 after 8 or 10 days, depending on comfort at that point. When I get to about 40mg/day, I will cut the rate in half, (10% every 7 to 10 days) I hope to be drug free by the middle of summer, which seems like an eternity.
I can't risk a full withdrawl since my family is in the dark here.
What are my chances of getting off this shit without WD at the current plan? I also have about 25 10mg methadone that i have never tried. Could these help? I am not sure that I have enough opiates to complete the schedule I just laid out and would rather not street source any more if I don't have to.
I really appreciate any insights or even positive thoughts, especially from those who have been using as long as I have.
Thanks

 

[Smoky]

Hi,

Welcome to BL!

Congratulations on weaning down to 100 mg. Quitting opiates was the hardest thing I have ever done. But, it's so worth it ! I was in a similar place with pills.

Here is an Opioid Conversion Chart for starters. I would google one also specific to methadone. Methadone is strong (as you might know this), even doctors can't prescribe over 30 - 40 mg to switch over to initially. 10 mg is not the same as 10 mg oxy for example. You could actually switch over to the methadone you have and do a 7 - 10 day taper. This will mask the withdrawals from pills. You do have enough methadone imo to do this from 100 mg. Absolutely.

When you do make the switch, take the first methadone pill in the am before the withdrawals start from the pills. This will hold you. You just need to match the right dose on the conversion chart. I would start with less if possible, to be safe. I did.

Sober Living is a place you could post in as well, and/or Other Drugs. You are on your way - you can do this!

 

[ThePharmacist4925]

Tapering off opiates by yourself is a hard thing to do. I have tapered off opiates before myself on a few occasions. Fortunately once I got down to like 80mg of Oxycodone a day then I'd go cold turkey. It sucked hard, but I just claimed I had the flu and I was able to be miserable and ride it out on my own. I will say that if you have stuff to help with the withdrawal symptoms it is a god send, but don't expect anything to make it easy. You need willpower or desperation to get you through. I've used alcohol to help with the withdrawals, not that I'm advising this but it did help in my case. Even after the worst of the withdrawals you will probably feel full of anxious energy and you will need a coping mechanism to handle that. Idk, it's always hard but it is possible to succeed and I believe with the right frame of mind you will be able to do it.

Of course you could go to a doctor and explain your situation, then maybe you could do the suboxone thing.

I like what the moderator posted and I think you should listen to him; you also need to remember that even if you successfully detox, you'll still have a long period of heightened emotions following and for that you will need coping skills to be successful. Seeing a psychologist could allow you the opportunity develop some coping skills under the guise that you just want a little therapy; most of your family probably wouldn't think twice about that and you don't really need to tell them anyway.

You will need to keep busy so you don't have down time to just sit around and feel anxious. Also cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy can help. Psychoanalytic insight based therapies are probably the best, however it's harder to find a doctor trained in traditional psychotherapy. I believe in therapy though, if you can keep it a secret or find an excuse for wanting it then you'll likely have a much better chance at success going forward. Best of luck my friend; I made and if I could do it then anyone can.

 

[Smoky]

This is so very true ^

Very very important to be surrounded by as much support as possible, and therapy if you are able to get it covered or afford it.

 

[j3084]

Stay AWAY from methadone. And if u do use it. Get 4 of them, first day take 20mg, 2nd day 10mg, 3rd and 4th take 5mgs. And "have a touch of the flu" for a couple of days. I am going on 5 hears of methadone maintenance, since I started it in my early 20s, I had to put my child at risk, having her while I was on it. Though she did ok, she did nurse longer than a child usually does and who even knows what that outcome will actually be. Methadone is the devil in disguise. Do not use it over a week. I've made many mistakes, but starting methadone has been by far the worst one.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

welcome!!

 

[Backonthenatch]

Thanks guys for the warm welcome.
I'm dropping to 80 mg today. I think it will be ok. i went from 150/day to 100 and stayed there for 9 days. I had some issues but yesterday was good. I guess I'll go through this "cycle" every time I drop another 10%. I can do that.
The methadone question from the original post seems to be a point of contention. Smoky, wouldn't it be easier, even with the methadone, to taper down further on the opiates and then switch over? Thanks for the conversion chart.
I don't have support for this, except this forum and one friend who is in my similar situation but he can't help much. I just got insurance yesterday. I have yet to even choose a provider. If I use insurance for counseling or support, that creates risk that my wife may realize what's up- paperwork, mail, phone calls etc. Can't risk that. I'm on my own here.

 

[Smoky]

Yes, you have options. You could taper down further then switch, or taper all the way down and not need the methadone at all.