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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

cant stop the craving for heroin

i say have at it guys. whats the point of posting on the net "aww i want to use, i'm sick, i found my dealer's number therefore i have to use it, i'm a classy middle class suburbanite heroin addict so ill never street cop, ad infinitum ad nauseum." _have at it!_ but lets be entirely realistic about what you're about to endure - and the most likely consequences of your decisions...

i say embrace the full-blown junkie lifestyle. Feel the calamity of impending doom while you clench your bottom to prevent your asshole from vomiting, as you army crawl into your mothers bedroom to snatch her purse. Feel the pure terror of infiltrating inner-city projects, and the ultimate reward when, immediately after copping you crouch between two parked cars to prepare your fix and aaaahhhhh. Destroy the life of the woman you love, take her money and her self esteem. Panhandle aggressively. Sell your body. Rob your friends. Con your loved ones. I mean cmmon guys. Live a little. Why sell yourself short of true gutter junkie joy?

then when the cell clangs shut the fun *really* gets stated. or, if you're lucky, you can curl up in fetal position on the nice little institution size beds on the psychiatric unit? and of course there's the final viable option, something will go wrong and you'll end up 6 feet under...funny how things work themselves out.

Stop deluding yourself with the thought that the sickness is worth wrecking your life. You're still concerned with keeping jobs, and appeasing parents? this deal will decimate your existence, and eventually you wont have any choice in the matter.

So stick it out. and overcome or put the petal to the metal and ride out into oblivion, moments sublime, intervals excruciating... in the end you'll wish you had just stuck it out when you still had something to live for.
 
You're going to withdraw one way or the other , you're just delaying it. Shit how many times have you been on day 2 or 3 just to get laced up and dazed out? Fuck, most junkies i know (myself included) have been through more hours of intense wds than simply gritting your teeth and getting through it would have produced if you multiplied it by 3. You have to want it man, you have to want it more than anything, especially that fucking heroin, it doesnt sound like you're there yet to me man. You have to realize that you are in fact strong. I know years of black tar, diesel or oxycontin can leave you feeling like a weak piece of shit man, but you're not, you're a fucking monster that shrugs of a hammer to the mouth and then proceeds to mow the lawn with that broken jaw. Fuck that NA shit man. Your subconcious is the higher power. Your ancestors that you evolved from endured the harshest environments to become the dominant species on the planet and you're going to tell me you cant strike your chest a few times and run at this thing head on like king kong? Get back on your taper program, cop some clonodine, xannax and trazadone and I'd also say good herb but you live round Baltimore so.... And do it. Do it for you, no one else. Not your parents, not your girlfriend, do it for YOU!

Im on day 15 after 2 years of 200-300 oc per day and the last 6 months smoking a g n a half of black tar a day. It sucked, but it was so mother fucking worth it. I feel alive like I havent in a long time. Its a great feeling man.
 
Yea hyouve got some good points guy aboce me. I actually came home from that 5 daydetox and immedistely got dope wjen i went home and banged it... then 8 days ago i went into an actual rehab but tbe guy was bullshiting me dancing around the question of when i was gonna get out and i explained i meeded to go in 14 days so i could go to work and get a paychecj just in timw to pay car oayment and so since he was dancing around with it bullshitting mw oj top of otber stuff i rolled today instead of 14-21 days... and of course picked up a gram pf raw on my way home lmao
 
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