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Can't Pretend.

rewiiired

rewiiired

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 20, 2002
Messages
1,802
Location
Chair.
So what happens to me if you
find him after all?

Where will my place be?
What role do I get to play then,
in the end?

Or will you totally
wipe me away,
erase me completely,
bridges blasted to oblivioun,
with no ends left to fray?

Will I be anything,
will I be nothing,
will I have to go away
without playing a part
of you at all?

Because you're
a part of me and I
can't pretend,

I can't play
like this is nothing,
I can't have you be
nothing to me at all
when you've been so much,
when you mean so much.

It's just not natural.
It's just fucking impossible
to let this go.

Is that how you need me, though?
Not so much as a distance voice,
nothing more than perhaps
an occasional reflection
in the dark of dreams,
fading in the morning
as your eyes open,
you roll over, to
look in the face
of another?

Seems to be we can't
be less than this,
but when did it become
if not more than,
than nothing at all?

And if I didn't want more,
if I could never be sure,

does that mean I
compromise anything,
does that mean I
loose everything?

Can't take the thought of
never looking in your eyes again,
can't take the thought this
cold distance will last forever.

Though I don't know what I could say,
don't know what you could say,
but the night's blazing dark
and burning cold and still
I can't fucking call it a day.

This might be what you call
needed distance, but
it feels like fucking elastic to me,
stretching painfully,
and I don't think
its something that
will ever break free.

Maybe I can't define this,
maybe I can't be that, but
you're forever part of me.

And maybe you need this,
maybe I deserve this,
but I can't just let this be.
 
Last edited:
As ever rewiired, your thoughts and the imagery in which you project them ring strong and pure. Brilliant

3rd line: 'Where will my place me?'
did you mean 'Where will my place be' ?

I especially liked the 6th paragraph with decreasing sentence length as it approached a crux.
Was that intentional?
 
Maybe I can't define this,
maybe I can't be that, but
you're forever part of me.

WOW! This is exactly what I am going through right now with a guy. Awesome poem. I just keep reading it over and over and over again!
 
As ever rewiired, your thoughts and the imagery in which you project them ring strong and pure. Brilliant
Click to expand...

Thank you.

3rd line: 'Where will my place me?'
did you mean 'Where will my place be' ?
Click to expand...

Yes. I'm a fucking goof when it comes to spelling, even in this day and age of automatic spell-checking. That's what writing while under the influence of sleep deprivation and massive loads of caffeine will do to you, though. :) Typo has been corrected.

I especially liked the 6th paragraph with decreasing sentence length as it approached a crux.
Was that intentional?
Click to expand...

In writing poetry, everything's about 50-50 conscious/unconscious for me. Occasionally I'll write poems with conscious intention, but they always seem less pure to me, so I try to keep away from it. At about the second-to-last line I realized I was doing this decreasing-sentence-length thing, and I just kept at it. I thought it might look a little weird, as rest the poem wasn't structured that way, but I'm glad you liked it.
 
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