cant get off dope and go home to my family because of college

[PendulumAM]

Basically, I just finished my junior year at a college in Florida, which is an Out of State college for me because I'm here all the way from a certain state in New England (above NY) and that is where my family is. I got introduced to roxies and then dope by my boyfriend and have been on dope/suboxene since January 2010.

I just want to go home and get clean. I miss my family and I don't want to be here anymore. I wont be able to graduate next year anyway because I don't have enough credits (I have only been taking 4 classes a semester since I got here and you are supposed to take summer classes as well but I don't have the money) and I don't even really want to pursue my major anymore, i'd rather take nursing classes. but I feel like i'm stuck in florida because of my student loans and all the time i've already spent at this college. my parents would gladly let me come home, they know about my problem because I got arrested back in October, but my mom is worried about the financial situation as well. I am on pre-trial diverson but I can be done with that in a month if I get my 100 hours of community service done and pay all the fees. I also dont know what I would tell my boyfriend; our relationship of almost 2 years has suffered a lot because of heroin but I still feel like it would be hard to just pack up and leave florida and him. right now I am using suboxene (its my boyfriends not mine) because I have to take a drug test soon and im broke anyway.

I just want to go home and be with my family. I feel like I dont want to be here anymore, I will just keep doing dope. but I feel like I am trapped. does anyone who knows about college/financial aid/student loans have any advice? thank you.

 

[TearItDown]

It's obvious you are in a very bad and unhealthy relationship. If you want to continue to see your boyfriend you offer him two options.

1. Him and you both get clean.

There is no other way to continue this relationship and get yourself clean if he does not. If he does not support this decision he loves heroin more than you, that is just simple.

2. You leave.
If he doesn't support the decision to get clean and sober and off of heroin you have to leave. There is nothing else, really.

I know either way it's hard but these are your options. You are a young, intelligent, and hard working young woman. If you can't push yourself off of this drug by the time the next semester starts then you have a few choices to make that I'll go over when I see your response. Good luck and keep us updated.

 

[gavatron@oz]

hey there..

Sorry i cant give you advice on your financial situation, but im sure theres a way to pay whats owed from home..at the end of the day the college wont care where the money comes from.as long as it comes.

In regards to leaving, i think you well and truly know the answer. You know you dont want to be there.you know if you stay the h will swallow you up. You just need to get that last boost of confidence and go..dont look back,its a fucked life.

Work towards what you need to get out..finnish up the community service,tie all the loose ends up and run for your life. Your lucky that your parents are supporting you,there the ones who truly care.

Is the person who introduced you to h ('boyfriend') interested in quiting. Alot of couples are on different gime frames with addiction,and co dependancy keeps the ball rolling,in that you might not be keen to hit the h,but he is so you do too.and vice versa.

On darkside theres a thread called my story. Read through those,do a search looking up heroin as sub title. Theres a few stories in there so similar to yours it will give u goose bumps.

All the best... Run girl run.

 

[villian]

I'm kinda short on time so I'm gonna be blunt here..

Using relationships are doomed to fail and you don't have a future with your boyfriend.

What you need to do is finish up your community service so you can leave the state. I know it sucks about the financial stuff, but there is nothing left for you in Florida. You need to get back home where you can get clean and be around people who support you getting clean.

I had to move across country to get clean and it was the best decision I ever made. I left a girlfriend and all my friends and it was *extremely* painful at the time but in hindsight it was the only thing I could do. And you know what? Now my life is better then ever and I am back in University with an extremely high GPA.

Focus on getting ready to go home now, and you can stress the financial stuff later. Everything will fall into place.

 

[Ds]

hey man you gotta do what u gotta do for your recovery, if it requires to put your education on hold then do it.

 

[fifleman]

Follow your heart. What is it telling you? Go home and get away from the drugs. You can work on yourself there. Clear your mind and get a fresh start with a fresh body and soul.

It will be rough leaving your boyfriend behind but it's for the best. You have the ability to succeed and triumph in whatever you choose to do. I don't know your exact situation, but I guarantee you he's holding you back. Cut all communication from him as you feel right. Detach meaning from him and leave the past where it is: in the past.

I, like the others, don't know much about student loans but I would not feel trapped there. If your dreams change, they change. You can move back home and work on paying down your loans just as well as you could in Florida. You'll feel better and have a clearer perspective on where you want to take your life without the dope and boyfriend distractions anyways. It has to be paid whether you're in Florida or Venezuela, in school or floating down a river. It's just money. Find where your heart takes you.

 

[gavatron@oz]

hey fiffleman, i actually pm pendulumAM and mentioned for her to pm you....
Looks like you beat her to it.

Hope you dont mind the referal,from one person strugglingMe to anotherHER

All the best pendulumAM