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can't be quelled....

diesirae

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 3, 2014
Messages
3
Location
DC
So, I've been dating my best friend of 8 years for over a year now. We get along great even with our fights here and there. He keeps saying (all the time) how lucky he is to have me, how much he doesn't deserve someone like me, etc. And really it's the other way around. I'm the recovering addict. I'm the one getting a divorce. I'm the one who consistently fucked up in all my other relationships (which were toxic as fuck).

The sex is really great. We have that extra-planar connection from being really close friends for so long. He damn near always gets me off and knows how to truly make me feel ecstatic, but every time we finish fucking or fucking around, he gets in this extremely down mood. He'll start saying '..did i really get you off?', '..did i really do a good job?', '..my dick isn't too small?'. I'm always reassuring him, and he knows how i feel about him and his parts. He has an above average dick. Problem is, he's obsessed with thinking it's just too small.... for my liking. I'm always making sure to talk a little dirty to him while we're messing around, just so he might get his mind off of being too self conscious. And i get it. I feel that way too sometimes about me own body as does every woman at some point, whether she's naked or clothed.

So my question is: How can I get him to feel better about himself? What can I say/do to help him grow esteem-wise? How can I get him to stop getting in a depressed mood right after we both come and lay down for a cigarette? I love him to death and beyond but I don't feel like I should have to be brought down to his level almost every time after we're finished.


diesirae
 
If he is not normally like this, just sad after sex, something else could be going on. Google "post-coital tristesse". It is a phenomenon of a period of sadness and depression after sex, and is more common in men. It has to do with hormones. Check it out and see if he fits into something like this...
 
My guess is that this guy has low self-esteem, which could be because of past experiences and childhood stuff.
Also maybe one of the reasons he is with you, a former drug addict, because he don't think he deserves better.
Sorry this sounds harsh.
 
Come on, they've been friends for a long time. Could be right with the childhood stuff though. Idk, enjoy his neurosis ;)
 
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