Spinal
Bluelighter
Marijuana, Vary Experienced, Back to Swag
It was Christmas day 2002 and I had just gotten home from dinner with my family at my grandparents house. I was having a good time there and was in good spirits talking with people. However the ride back with my mother back was not as plesent due to the fact that our relationship has gone quite sour.
This left me feeling rather confused because I wanted everything to be patched up between us but she doesn't even make her own decisions anymore, her boyfriend does. I was feeling like giving in and trying so hard to do what they wanted me to do so they would let my girlfriend come up to visit me on my birthday. But I know they would just dick me over again like they have done so many times before after I have done what they wanted.
This state of cold silence lasted till my mom went to an AA meeting and I was sitting at home. I had many feelings balled up inside me about this situation, yet I knew the only thing I can do is move. Since Im getting ready to do that soon, I can simply only wait.
I had gotten a hold of some marijuana a couple days earlier and was vary eager to try it out. I was not your typical pot by any means. In fact it was as many would call it "Mex" or "Swag". The nuggets where compressed into brick like sections full of seeds, leaf, and hairs. It had that smell of earth and sweat that brought my memories back to when I first started smoking. In fact the guy I got it from said to me "It's like High School all over again".
That just seemed to sum it up.
I looked at the pot intently, eyeballing it as to the best way of ingestion. After a bit of deliberation. I decided to go with a joint due to the fact I could take out all the seeds and stems. So I rolled a nice fatty and walked over to a near by park. On the way to the park I was vary mixed up with emotions and stress. About so many things in life and if smoking right them was even a good decision.
I walked across a foggy field to a set of bleachers and started down the path to inebriation. It was surprising to me that the joint stayed lit so well. It lasted so long It was almost like smoking a regular cigarette. The taste of the smoke was less than desirable and made me choke a few times but over all it wasn't bad, just bland.
The effects didn't manifest in ways that they normally do for more potent types of pot. They sort of slowly crept up on me over the course of smoking the joint. At the end I was nicely baked and ready for the walk back to the Apartment. As I walked I began to think what an interesting change it was from so called "chronic" weed. Ive been smoking high grade marijuana for so long now I had forgotten what it was like to get a visit from the other guy.
The high was different, but in a way that I could only put as being slower. Potent strains of pot always seem to zoom towards me at light speed forcing me to deal with whatever it presents me at an instant. This however seemed to be more at my own pace. I could pick a train of thought and stay with it.
My thoughts turned to the pot itself. How it had to come so far to get to me and gone though so much that it was like smoking the effort and labor; history and culture this marijuana was born from. It's so easy to just dismiss Mexican pot as krap, but how many of us out there have had our first profound experiences on swag? The experience felt like visiting an old friend or coming home. I was flooded with memories of my younger days and all the fun I had when I was first starting out with pot and didn't know of bigger and better things.
I then began to think about the present, my situation with my mother and her over controlling boyfriend I live with. The whole situation just seemed so stupid I wanted to laugh. They didn't want my girlfriend to come up here because I wasn't happy enough or friendly enough. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that approach is not going to make me brighten up. After all it hasn't worked yet why would it suddenly start working now?
It made me sad to see my mom put herself it the hands of someone who can fly off the handles so easily at other people and controls her life so much. But it is her choice and I have to respect what she does with her life even though she doesn't respect what I do with mine. This situation is just at such an impasse all I can do is move on and at the most have a token relationship with my mom, if any relationship at all.
I decided to walk through the shopping center to see if any new papers had been put out but they had not. On my way through I was stopped by to latinos who asked me for a lighter. I let them borrow it and they offered me a cigarette. However I told them I didn't smoke and they just gave me a look, started snickering and and said "Just weed man"????
I nodded and carried on with my walk. Everything seems so odd. Christmas night never struck me as being so gritty before. But now that I had thought about it the more I realized how two sided this holiday really is. Now all the inebriated souls of the earth came out to voice there existence in the shadow of Christ overgrown image. The modern christian religion sees inebriation as a sin, but wasn't christ's blood wine? There was an almost hypocritical rebellious tone to the events I saw as cars drunkenly swerved about the road. It made me wonder how we as a society have gotten so far from using substances to learn, to such a large section of our society using them to escape.
I put these thoughts behind me as I walked through my apartment building past a masave Hindi party on the bottom floor and up the stairs into my room. I collapsed onto my bed and just decided to lay there and let it all soak in.
As I lay there on my bed, my mind silent and waiting, I could feel myself transcending my physical boundaries. I no longer felt like apart of a body just a spirit. There was a sense of an other worldly connection to a place other than our physical world, There was an energy flowing through me comforting me and making me feel not quite so alone. I felt as if I was somewhere in the middle between divinity and humanity.
Its not that I wasn't enjoying this but I felt as though it was not the goal of my experience to go to these types of places at the moment. Though I was vary eager to get the chance and wonder what these places had in store for me. I was becoming somewhat uneasy at this feeling since I am still weary of altered states of this magnitude after taking Ayahuasca.
The feeling was vary similar to what I experienced then and was a little to close for comfort. I decided that it would be a good idea to start concentrating more on my physical form. Since doing the opposite seemed to get me to the place earlier, it would stand to reason that paying attention to my terrestrial environment would make me more comfortable in it. Indeed it did start to work. I decided to simply give myself all the love I needed at the moment and concentrate on being as there as I could be.
This made me really happy. In fact, this concentration on the terrestrial aspects of life has even helped me fight off a strange since of depression I get. Which is in part, I believe, is due to thinking to much about trivial matters of the spirit. I soon began to come down after this. But it was ok, I was ready and willing. I just stayed in my bed with a smile on my face, happy to be alive and breathing. I soon went on the internet and talked and browsed Bluelight till I convinced myself to get off as I had work the next day.
This experience just goes to show the proof is in the pudding when it comes to pot. It may not always be the greenest dank nugs. But Mexican bud still has its place in the world and I am glad it is here. Because without it I would not have had one of my most insightful and memorable marijuana experiences ever.
Thank You for Reading.
It was Christmas day 2002 and I had just gotten home from dinner with my family at my grandparents house. I was having a good time there and was in good spirits talking with people. However the ride back with my mother back was not as plesent due to the fact that our relationship has gone quite sour.
This left me feeling rather confused because I wanted everything to be patched up between us but she doesn't even make her own decisions anymore, her boyfriend does. I was feeling like giving in and trying so hard to do what they wanted me to do so they would let my girlfriend come up to visit me on my birthday. But I know they would just dick me over again like they have done so many times before after I have done what they wanted.
This state of cold silence lasted till my mom went to an AA meeting and I was sitting at home. I had many feelings balled up inside me about this situation, yet I knew the only thing I can do is move. Since Im getting ready to do that soon, I can simply only wait.
I had gotten a hold of some marijuana a couple days earlier and was vary eager to try it out. I was not your typical pot by any means. In fact it was as many would call it "Mex" or "Swag". The nuggets where compressed into brick like sections full of seeds, leaf, and hairs. It had that smell of earth and sweat that brought my memories back to when I first started smoking. In fact the guy I got it from said to me "It's like High School all over again".
That just seemed to sum it up.
I looked at the pot intently, eyeballing it as to the best way of ingestion. After a bit of deliberation. I decided to go with a joint due to the fact I could take out all the seeds and stems. So I rolled a nice fatty and walked over to a near by park. On the way to the park I was vary mixed up with emotions and stress. About so many things in life and if smoking right them was even a good decision.
I walked across a foggy field to a set of bleachers and started down the path to inebriation. It was surprising to me that the joint stayed lit so well. It lasted so long It was almost like smoking a regular cigarette. The taste of the smoke was less than desirable and made me choke a few times but over all it wasn't bad, just bland.
The effects didn't manifest in ways that they normally do for more potent types of pot. They sort of slowly crept up on me over the course of smoking the joint. At the end I was nicely baked and ready for the walk back to the Apartment. As I walked I began to think what an interesting change it was from so called "chronic" weed. Ive been smoking high grade marijuana for so long now I had forgotten what it was like to get a visit from the other guy.
The high was different, but in a way that I could only put as being slower. Potent strains of pot always seem to zoom towards me at light speed forcing me to deal with whatever it presents me at an instant. This however seemed to be more at my own pace. I could pick a train of thought and stay with it.
My thoughts turned to the pot itself. How it had to come so far to get to me and gone though so much that it was like smoking the effort and labor; history and culture this marijuana was born from. It's so easy to just dismiss Mexican pot as krap, but how many of us out there have had our first profound experiences on swag? The experience felt like visiting an old friend or coming home. I was flooded with memories of my younger days and all the fun I had when I was first starting out with pot and didn't know of bigger and better things.
I then began to think about the present, my situation with my mother and her over controlling boyfriend I live with. The whole situation just seemed so stupid I wanted to laugh. They didn't want my girlfriend to come up here because I wasn't happy enough or friendly enough. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that approach is not going to make me brighten up. After all it hasn't worked yet why would it suddenly start working now?
It made me sad to see my mom put herself it the hands of someone who can fly off the handles so easily at other people and controls her life so much. But it is her choice and I have to respect what she does with her life even though she doesn't respect what I do with mine. This situation is just at such an impasse all I can do is move on and at the most have a token relationship with my mom, if any relationship at all.
I decided to walk through the shopping center to see if any new papers had been put out but they had not. On my way through I was stopped by to latinos who asked me for a lighter. I let them borrow it and they offered me a cigarette. However I told them I didn't smoke and they just gave me a look, started snickering and and said "Just weed man"????
I nodded and carried on with my walk. Everything seems so odd. Christmas night never struck me as being so gritty before. But now that I had thought about it the more I realized how two sided this holiday really is. Now all the inebriated souls of the earth came out to voice there existence in the shadow of Christ overgrown image. The modern christian religion sees inebriation as a sin, but wasn't christ's blood wine? There was an almost hypocritical rebellious tone to the events I saw as cars drunkenly swerved about the road. It made me wonder how we as a society have gotten so far from using substances to learn, to such a large section of our society using them to escape.
I put these thoughts behind me as I walked through my apartment building past a masave Hindi party on the bottom floor and up the stairs into my room. I collapsed onto my bed and just decided to lay there and let it all soak in.
As I lay there on my bed, my mind silent and waiting, I could feel myself transcending my physical boundaries. I no longer felt like apart of a body just a spirit. There was a sense of an other worldly connection to a place other than our physical world, There was an energy flowing through me comforting me and making me feel not quite so alone. I felt as if I was somewhere in the middle between divinity and humanity.
Its not that I wasn't enjoying this but I felt as though it was not the goal of my experience to go to these types of places at the moment. Though I was vary eager to get the chance and wonder what these places had in store for me. I was becoming somewhat uneasy at this feeling since I am still weary of altered states of this magnitude after taking Ayahuasca.
The feeling was vary similar to what I experienced then and was a little to close for comfort. I decided that it would be a good idea to start concentrating more on my physical form. Since doing the opposite seemed to get me to the place earlier, it would stand to reason that paying attention to my terrestrial environment would make me more comfortable in it. Indeed it did start to work. I decided to simply give myself all the love I needed at the moment and concentrate on being as there as I could be.
This made me really happy. In fact, this concentration on the terrestrial aspects of life has even helped me fight off a strange since of depression I get. Which is in part, I believe, is due to thinking to much about trivial matters of the spirit. I soon began to come down after this. But it was ok, I was ready and willing. I just stayed in my bed with a smile on my face, happy to be alive and breathing. I soon went on the internet and talked and browsed Bluelight till I convinced myself to get off as I had work the next day.
This experience just goes to show the proof is in the pudding when it comes to pot. It may not always be the greenest dank nugs. But Mexican bud still has its place in the world and I am glad it is here. Because without it I would not have had one of my most insightful and memorable marijuana experiences ever.
Thank You for Reading.
