cancle
Bluelighter
Weed - semi-experienced - I almost pissed my pants- Why I'm never doing N2O again.
.Primal. .nang. .fear.
Drugs:
2 x dodgy ketamine pills[pink stars{star of david}]
1 cone of 5x salvia
2 cones of ordinary weed
NYE 2001, me and two friends decided to trek down to Cronulla to attend a rave called SandSwarm. I had a fairly fun night, but in the morning horrible things happened to my brain. I ‘m going to give you the backgroung on my drug use during the night because I beleive it directly contributed to my state of mind in the morning. I ate half a pill at about 10:50pm and plugged the other half of that pill at about 11:40. At about 12:50am I smoked a tiny cone of weed. By this time I could defintely feel the k, and I was finding everything wierd. The weed didn’t affect me that much so I went and danced some more. At about 2:00am I smoked a cone of 5x extract salvia. Salvia dosen’t do that much for me. I get the physical effects and I get a bit fucked up, but I don’t have a reality change like most of my friends do. At about 3:00am I plugged the other pill. For the rest of the night I just danced about a bit or lay down looking at the sky. We left the sand dunes at about 5:00 or 6:00am, I can’t remember. We started the long walk back to the train station and we managed to hitch a ride about 2/3rds of the way.
We got to the train station and sat down. I was a bit scattered at the time, but I was still feeling mostly allright. I wanted to go to bed and with 1 and a half hours of public transport ahead I wanted to make the train ride as bearable as possible. This is where things get totally fucked up.
We are sitting on the train platform, other people are on benches further away, they can’t hear what we are saying but it would be fairly obvious to them that we are getting stoned. I pack a fairly large cone are share it with my friend(R-cless) out of the pipe. I take about three drags and lean back in my chair, satisfied that I will be pleasently stoned. After about a minute I start to giggle at things and for about five minutes me and R-cless were having the best time. We were giggling at anyone and everything, I discovered that I was super-stoned, which was amazing because I had only smoked a tiny bit.
My friend started to look around apprehensively and I asked him what was wrong...
Me- Hey man (said in super-stoned, giggling voice) what’s wrong?
R-cless- I feel wierd...wait, I know this feeling, fuck!, I’m tripping.
Me- (uncontrollable laughter)
R-cless- It’s okay, this is going to pass, feelings like this come and go all the time
Me- (uncontrollable giggling)
R-cless- Fuck! This isn’t going to end.
Me- (stopps giggling suddenyl concerned for friend) How are you tripping? Is it like acid?
R-cless- No, it’s DXM style tripping.
I probed my mind trying to remember what tripping on DXM was like, while I was trying to remember my friend explained to me how he was feeling. Fuzzy, that’s how I felt on DXM, fuzzy. I could imagine the fuzz in my mind and I was satisfied that I knew how he felt, but it was too late, I couldn’t go back. Floodgates opened and I was triiping balls. My mind was fuzzy and I felt like I was on a decent dose of DXM.
Me- Fuck man, now I’m tripping, my fucking leg is buzzing!
R-cless- Mine too.
Me-shit.
We sat there for about thirty seconds trying to come to terms with our new state of mind. I knew it was going to be fine to deal with, it would just be a very intresting train ride back. How wrong I was.
Nitrous plays a very big role in how I felt. Sometimes while I’m nanging I start to feel like my head is the sive of a grain of sand on top of my body. I feels like I’ve been sucked backwards and I’m watching myself. If you want to read some of my pointlessly stupid nang theories go here:
Nangs.... the irony of the loop - is it just me?
I was nanging.
Me- I am nanging
Friend- I am in epiphany land(my friend once did a nang on acid, he was transported to a place and an entity told him his life was a useless loop, it was quite a severe experence for him and he has been scared of it ever sice, he calls it ‘the epiphany’)
I was totally out of control. Ever moment went for eternity and with every passing second I got more and more scared. I made all three of us leave the platform and sit somewhere with less people. I was getting very scared.
We sat down near a playground. R-cless, I assume, was in the exact same state of mind as me. My other friend, C, was coming down and tired, he just wanted to go to bed. Me...I was so fucking scared. It is quite impossible to describe the way I was feeling. Everything had become vivid and I felt like I would lose control and start screaming at any second. My heart was pounding at about 130bpm.
I got the fear then. I started thinking about the future. I thought about going to the hospital, I thought about being stuck like that for ever, everything was incredibly scary. I was cold as well, I was shivering.
My friend R-cless was extreamly scared as well. He had a couple of panadine forte so we both ingested one, 30mg codine and 500mg of paracetamol. We hoped it would calm us down and help us make it home without losing control.
The train came and we boarded it. It would be about forty minutes before we got off. I was still nanging so hard. It’s hard to explain, but although I could still act properly, in my mind I was nanging about as hard as I ever had. It was like I was constantly on nitrous. I used to think that nanging for an hour might be fun, I had been nanging ten minutes and I was so very, very scared.
I can’t remember the train very well. For the whole time I was scared and for the whole time every moment went for eternity.
On the train we tried to calm ourselves down. We tried to figure out what was happenening to our brains. This, I beleive, we did rather well.
We supposed that because of the combination of drugs and lack of sleep we had dramatically changed our bain chemistry. I think we almost totally blocked off our NMDA( or NMD-receptors, I am very fucking vauge about this, if fact, I am most likely severly wrong), short short-term memory receptors. You see there are three types of memory, long-term, short-term, and another one before short-term which provides us with perfect involuntary recall for the past three or so seconds.
This last type of memory is like a surveilance tape which we use to review what has just happened. The memried get transferrred to short-term memory after about three second and new events are written onto that tape. Me and R-cless, were totally missing that tape to write memories onto.
Because of this lack of the specific type of memory every second of every waking moment we were trying to figure out what was going on. When any sort of animal become disorientated or confused it sends out a burst of adrenalin. Because the animal has no idea where it is, it needs to act quickly and make sure it isn’t in any danger. We realised the physical effects of what we were feeling was adrenalin constantly being pumped directly into our bloodstream. My heart was beating at 130bpm, everything had become clear and vivid and my muscles were tight, ready for action. I was scared. I realised the cold which I felt was the same type of shiver you get down your spine when you are faced with death. I was totally fucked.
I was still scared I was about to scream, about to be arrested and spend eternity in a mental home, I needed to piss. I needed to piss so badly.
Apparently about a third of soldiers piss their pants when thay go into battle. I’m not saying what I went through would be as bad as going into battle, but I do think I experienced the same physical effects. They say when you are in battle time slows down bacuase you brain is working faster, I believe that this is what we both felt.
I needed to piss so badly. I couldn’t help run a little fictional movie of me pissing my pants in my head and my friends going eww. gross. I thought it was inevitable, if felt like it was just a matter of time time until it happened. We got off the train a stop early so I could piss. There were no toilets so I pissed in a corner. When a healthy yellow puddled had formed at my feet two young ladies walk by. I couldn’t care less. I needed to piss and nothing was going to stop me. We got back on the train. I was still so fucked. I felt like if if I had managed it this far then I would be able to make it home, but I still was a breath away from screaming out loud.
We got on the next train, and then changed tracks. By now I was so paranoid that a tcket inspector would come and find that I hadn’t paid for a ticket. That paranoia engulfed me and every noise I heard behind me sounded like the approaching footsteps of a railway employee. I think there is a part of your brain which is constanly searching for things which could go wrong. A kind of radar for detecting danger. When you are paranoid this radar works over time. Normal conversation seem like verbal attacks on you, crossing the road is more scary and ticket inspectors are very terrifying. That radar, my danger radar, was very much working overtime.
After a scary train ride we fianlly got to our stop. By now I was starting to feel better. My heart had slowed to 110bpm and I wasn’t nanging nearly as much. I guess the NMDA receptor in my brain had become less clogged and I was regaining the normal fuctioning of my brain. After a bit I managed to get to sleep. I was scattered for about two days after. I felt worn out, but I felt good. I had had a really good cardio-vasucular work out.
I don’t think it would be possible to recreate this experience. I would be extraordinaly intrested if anyone thinks they have experienced something similar. I ‘m amazed that both R-cless and I had the some experiece. Surely the odd would be stacked against it.
This report dosn’t do any justice to the magnitude of the experience me and my friend had. I’m going to list some of the fears I had.
-I was scared that the body wasn’t designed to cope with constant adrenalin and my body would collapse under the strain of it all.
-I was scared that I would never return to normal. I decided without hesitation that I would swiftly commit suicide if that was the case.
-I was scared I would spend my life in a instituation.
I was scared about so many more things, but I can’t remember most of them.
In retrospect this experience was a positive one. It was the worst experience of my life, but it has had some good out comes.
1. I am never, ever doing: N20, DXM or salvia ever again. This is not just something you say. I know that I’m never going to do it again.
2. The brain is very delicate. I never thought it was possible to do that.
3. I’m not sure, but I want to add to the list.
I kind of feel like a stroger person for the experience, it’s like I went through hell and survived.
Excuse the speeling errors. My spell checker is broken.
Sorry about the stupid name of this thread. I was going to call it 'Bad times at nitrous high', but that wouldn't comply with the guidelines.
Any innacuracies contained within this post are entirely my fault. I have done very little research about the neurophysical effects of N20 and the bulk of my information comes from the FAQ and this thread:
How does nitrous work?
I would be very grateful with any corrections regarding information in this post.
edit:
I am such a retard I forgot to tell you why I'm not doing nitrous again. You see, I think it's damging my brain. If I get nitrous like effects on drugs without inhaling nitrous something has to be wrong.
The fact the nitrous has a reverse tolerance(it gets more itense each time) scares the fuck out of me. It's like everytime you do it, it is corroding your brain. Each time you do it, the barrier between nangin and not nanging is reduced. I heard it works because it dissolves the lipid fat membrane and blocks certain neural receptors. I magine that each time the lipid fat membrane is getting thinner and thinner. Nitrous is some fucked up shit.
[ 04 January 2002: Message edited by: cancle ]
.Primal. .nang. .fear.
Drugs:
2 x dodgy ketamine pills[pink stars{star of david}]
1 cone of 5x salvia
2 cones of ordinary weed
NYE 2001, me and two friends decided to trek down to Cronulla to attend a rave called SandSwarm. I had a fairly fun night, but in the morning horrible things happened to my brain. I ‘m going to give you the backgroung on my drug use during the night because I beleive it directly contributed to my state of mind in the morning. I ate half a pill at about 10:50pm and plugged the other half of that pill at about 11:40. At about 12:50am I smoked a tiny cone of weed. By this time I could defintely feel the k, and I was finding everything wierd. The weed didn’t affect me that much so I went and danced some more. At about 2:00am I smoked a cone of 5x extract salvia. Salvia dosen’t do that much for me. I get the physical effects and I get a bit fucked up, but I don’t have a reality change like most of my friends do. At about 3:00am I plugged the other pill. For the rest of the night I just danced about a bit or lay down looking at the sky. We left the sand dunes at about 5:00 or 6:00am, I can’t remember. We started the long walk back to the train station and we managed to hitch a ride about 2/3rds of the way.
We got to the train station and sat down. I was a bit scattered at the time, but I was still feeling mostly allright. I wanted to go to bed and with 1 and a half hours of public transport ahead I wanted to make the train ride as bearable as possible. This is where things get totally fucked up.
We are sitting on the train platform, other people are on benches further away, they can’t hear what we are saying but it would be fairly obvious to them that we are getting stoned. I pack a fairly large cone are share it with my friend(R-cless) out of the pipe. I take about three drags and lean back in my chair, satisfied that I will be pleasently stoned. After about a minute I start to giggle at things and for about five minutes me and R-cless were having the best time. We were giggling at anyone and everything, I discovered that I was super-stoned, which was amazing because I had only smoked a tiny bit.
My friend started to look around apprehensively and I asked him what was wrong...
Me- Hey man (said in super-stoned, giggling voice) what’s wrong?
R-cless- I feel wierd...wait, I know this feeling, fuck!, I’m tripping.
Me- (uncontrollable laughter)
R-cless- It’s okay, this is going to pass, feelings like this come and go all the time
Me- (uncontrollable giggling)
R-cless- Fuck! This isn’t going to end.
Me- (stopps giggling suddenyl concerned for friend) How are you tripping? Is it like acid?
R-cless- No, it’s DXM style tripping.
I probed my mind trying to remember what tripping on DXM was like, while I was trying to remember my friend explained to me how he was feeling. Fuzzy, that’s how I felt on DXM, fuzzy. I could imagine the fuzz in my mind and I was satisfied that I knew how he felt, but it was too late, I couldn’t go back. Floodgates opened and I was triiping balls. My mind was fuzzy and I felt like I was on a decent dose of DXM.
Me- Fuck man, now I’m tripping, my fucking leg is buzzing!
R-cless- Mine too.
Me-shit.
We sat there for about thirty seconds trying to come to terms with our new state of mind. I knew it was going to be fine to deal with, it would just be a very intresting train ride back. How wrong I was.
Nitrous plays a very big role in how I felt. Sometimes while I’m nanging I start to feel like my head is the sive of a grain of sand on top of my body. I feels like I’ve been sucked backwards and I’m watching myself. If you want to read some of my pointlessly stupid nang theories go here:
Nangs.... the irony of the loop - is it just me?
I was nanging.
Me- I am nanging
Friend- I am in epiphany land(my friend once did a nang on acid, he was transported to a place and an entity told him his life was a useless loop, it was quite a severe experence for him and he has been scared of it ever sice, he calls it ‘the epiphany’)
I was totally out of control. Ever moment went for eternity and with every passing second I got more and more scared. I made all three of us leave the platform and sit somewhere with less people. I was getting very scared.
We sat down near a playground. R-cless, I assume, was in the exact same state of mind as me. My other friend, C, was coming down and tired, he just wanted to go to bed. Me...I was so fucking scared. It is quite impossible to describe the way I was feeling. Everything had become vivid and I felt like I would lose control and start screaming at any second. My heart was pounding at about 130bpm.
I got the fear then. I started thinking about the future. I thought about going to the hospital, I thought about being stuck like that for ever, everything was incredibly scary. I was cold as well, I was shivering.
My friend R-cless was extreamly scared as well. He had a couple of panadine forte so we both ingested one, 30mg codine and 500mg of paracetamol. We hoped it would calm us down and help us make it home without losing control.
The train came and we boarded it. It would be about forty minutes before we got off. I was still nanging so hard. It’s hard to explain, but although I could still act properly, in my mind I was nanging about as hard as I ever had. It was like I was constantly on nitrous. I used to think that nanging for an hour might be fun, I had been nanging ten minutes and I was so very, very scared.
I can’t remember the train very well. For the whole time I was scared and for the whole time every moment went for eternity.
On the train we tried to calm ourselves down. We tried to figure out what was happenening to our brains. This, I beleive, we did rather well.
We supposed that because of the combination of drugs and lack of sleep we had dramatically changed our bain chemistry. I think we almost totally blocked off our NMDA( or NMD-receptors, I am very fucking vauge about this, if fact, I am most likely severly wrong), short short-term memory receptors. You see there are three types of memory, long-term, short-term, and another one before short-term which provides us with perfect involuntary recall for the past three or so seconds.
This last type of memory is like a surveilance tape which we use to review what has just happened. The memried get transferrred to short-term memory after about three second and new events are written onto that tape. Me and R-cless, were totally missing that tape to write memories onto.
Because of this lack of the specific type of memory every second of every waking moment we were trying to figure out what was going on. When any sort of animal become disorientated or confused it sends out a burst of adrenalin. Because the animal has no idea where it is, it needs to act quickly and make sure it isn’t in any danger. We realised the physical effects of what we were feeling was adrenalin constantly being pumped directly into our bloodstream. My heart was beating at 130bpm, everything had become clear and vivid and my muscles were tight, ready for action. I was scared. I realised the cold which I felt was the same type of shiver you get down your spine when you are faced with death. I was totally fucked.
I was still scared I was about to scream, about to be arrested and spend eternity in a mental home, I needed to piss. I needed to piss so badly.
Apparently about a third of soldiers piss their pants when thay go into battle. I’m not saying what I went through would be as bad as going into battle, but I do think I experienced the same physical effects. They say when you are in battle time slows down bacuase you brain is working faster, I believe that this is what we both felt.
I needed to piss so badly. I couldn’t help run a little fictional movie of me pissing my pants in my head and my friends going eww. gross. I thought it was inevitable, if felt like it was just a matter of time time until it happened. We got off the train a stop early so I could piss. There were no toilets so I pissed in a corner. When a healthy yellow puddled had formed at my feet two young ladies walk by. I couldn’t care less. I needed to piss and nothing was going to stop me. We got back on the train. I was still so fucked. I felt like if if I had managed it this far then I would be able to make it home, but I still was a breath away from screaming out loud.
We got on the next train, and then changed tracks. By now I was so paranoid that a tcket inspector would come and find that I hadn’t paid for a ticket. That paranoia engulfed me and every noise I heard behind me sounded like the approaching footsteps of a railway employee. I think there is a part of your brain which is constanly searching for things which could go wrong. A kind of radar for detecting danger. When you are paranoid this radar works over time. Normal conversation seem like verbal attacks on you, crossing the road is more scary and ticket inspectors are very terrifying. That radar, my danger radar, was very much working overtime.
After a scary train ride we fianlly got to our stop. By now I was starting to feel better. My heart had slowed to 110bpm and I wasn’t nanging nearly as much. I guess the NMDA receptor in my brain had become less clogged and I was regaining the normal fuctioning of my brain. After a bit I managed to get to sleep. I was scattered for about two days after. I felt worn out, but I felt good. I had had a really good cardio-vasucular work out.
I don’t think it would be possible to recreate this experience. I would be extraordinaly intrested if anyone thinks they have experienced something similar. I ‘m amazed that both R-cless and I had the some experiece. Surely the odd would be stacked against it.
This report dosn’t do any justice to the magnitude of the experience me and my friend had. I’m going to list some of the fears I had.
-I was scared that the body wasn’t designed to cope with constant adrenalin and my body would collapse under the strain of it all.
-I was scared that I would never return to normal. I decided without hesitation that I would swiftly commit suicide if that was the case.
-I was scared I would spend my life in a instituation.
I was scared about so many more things, but I can’t remember most of them.
In retrospect this experience was a positive one. It was the worst experience of my life, but it has had some good out comes.
1. I am never, ever doing: N20, DXM or salvia ever again. This is not just something you say. I know that I’m never going to do it again.
2. The brain is very delicate. I never thought it was possible to do that.
3. I’m not sure, but I want to add to the list.
I kind of feel like a stroger person for the experience, it’s like I went through hell and survived.
Excuse the speeling errors. My spell checker is broken.
Sorry about the stupid name of this thread. I was going to call it 'Bad times at nitrous high', but that wouldn't comply with the guidelines.
Any innacuracies contained within this post are entirely my fault. I have done very little research about the neurophysical effects of N20 and the bulk of my information comes from the FAQ and this thread:
How does nitrous work?
I would be very grateful with any corrections regarding information in this post.
edit:
I am such a retard I forgot to tell you why I'm not doing nitrous again. You see, I think it's damging my brain. If I get nitrous like effects on drugs without inhaling nitrous something has to be wrong.
The fact the nitrous has a reverse tolerance(it gets more itense each time) scares the fuck out of me. It's like everytime you do it, it is corroding your brain. Each time you do it, the barrier between nangin and not nanging is reduced. I heard it works because it dissolves the lipid fat membrane and blocks certain neural receptors. I magine that each time the lipid fat membrane is getting thinner and thinner. Nitrous is some fucked up shit.
[ 04 January 2002: Message edited by: cancle ]
