SpunkySkunk347
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2006
- Messages
- 1,717
Whenever I smoke weed, I usually end up getting incapacitated and start to trip out.
I start hearing voices and shit, sometimes cartoony noises, or music. I also get a TON of "looping thoughts" (when a thought/mental image reoccurs multiple times in a row).
My brain functions MUCH faster than normal (but then I can't hold a thought for more than 4 seconds, and I'm not exaggerating), I can process things I normally wouldn't be able to, and I figure out the weirdest shit like the meaning of life and stuff like that, only to realize when I'm sober that I can't remember what the hell I was thinking about. I start freaking out and get a panic attack (I have panic disorder), and also everything seems dreamlike and surreal.
Almost EVERY time this happens the fear pops in my mind "What if my weed was laced with something else and I'm overdosing right now?". Then I spend the next 4 hours laying down and trying to use music to distract myself, but that doesn't really work. Because my mind can't concentrate on the music and just goes off on a tangent of death and the meaning of life and God and shit.
Then, sometimes when I smoke weed I hardly get any mental effects at all, and just get a nice body high. I think this is because of two different strains of cannabis effecting me differently, although I'm not sure.
I DO have a family history of schizophrenia, and I have a lot of mental disorders. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Insomnia, General Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Clinical Depression, Trichotillomania, Depersonalization Disorder, and I sometimes get hypomanias/manias. All have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I actually just got out of a mental hospital in Wisconsin, where test results showed I had multiple signs of psychosis. The test results were difficult to determine, from what they told me. They said it could have been something schizo-related that I have, or just states of intense anxiety.
I really do enjoy the "nice body high" that I got from weed 1 out of 3 times, but 2 out of 3 times I just end up freaking out. But the feeling from that 1 out of 3 times is enough to make me try it again.
Some people tell me that I just smoke too much, and then smoke more before I wait for the effects to fully kick in from the first time. Which could very well be true. Often times when I smoke weed, I am drunk, and really don't control how much I am smoking. I might end up smoking 2-3 joints by myself, or an unknown amount of bowls.
A lot of times I get "shivers" too. I get a really cold feeling, start shaking, and my skin feels like its turning to ice, but also it feels like I'm melting/freezing over and over again.
I am inspired by cannabis to write. Writing is really my one true passion in life, and a lot of the times the stuff I write while stoned is simply beautiful. It is a shame that I have to go through a panic attack to write it though.
Its probably worth noting that I tend to freak out more on high quality weed, and I actually prefer shwag because it tends to give me that "body high" I love.
My psychedelic/hallucinogenic experience is not extensive, but certainly I wouldn't consider myself unexperienced with psychedelics. I have been on AMT, plenty of Salvia break-through experiences, LSA, 3rd plateau doses of DXM, and more I can't think of right now. In all honesty, weed has taken my mind to depths that no other drug has taken me. It is the most powerful change in cognition I have ever experienced from a drug.
I start hearing voices and shit, sometimes cartoony noises, or music. I also get a TON of "looping thoughts" (when a thought/mental image reoccurs multiple times in a row).
My brain functions MUCH faster than normal (but then I can't hold a thought for more than 4 seconds, and I'm not exaggerating), I can process things I normally wouldn't be able to, and I figure out the weirdest shit like the meaning of life and stuff like that, only to realize when I'm sober that I can't remember what the hell I was thinking about. I start freaking out and get a panic attack (I have panic disorder), and also everything seems dreamlike and surreal.
Almost EVERY time this happens the fear pops in my mind "What if my weed was laced with something else and I'm overdosing right now?". Then I spend the next 4 hours laying down and trying to use music to distract myself, but that doesn't really work. Because my mind can't concentrate on the music and just goes off on a tangent of death and the meaning of life and God and shit.
Then, sometimes when I smoke weed I hardly get any mental effects at all, and just get a nice body high. I think this is because of two different strains of cannabis effecting me differently, although I'm not sure.
I DO have a family history of schizophrenia, and I have a lot of mental disorders. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Insomnia, General Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Clinical Depression, Trichotillomania, Depersonalization Disorder, and I sometimes get hypomanias/manias. All have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I actually just got out of a mental hospital in Wisconsin, where test results showed I had multiple signs of psychosis. The test results were difficult to determine, from what they told me. They said it could have been something schizo-related that I have, or just states of intense anxiety.
I really do enjoy the "nice body high" that I got from weed 1 out of 3 times, but 2 out of 3 times I just end up freaking out. But the feeling from that 1 out of 3 times is enough to make me try it again.
Some people tell me that I just smoke too much, and then smoke more before I wait for the effects to fully kick in from the first time. Which could very well be true. Often times when I smoke weed, I am drunk, and really don't control how much I am smoking. I might end up smoking 2-3 joints by myself, or an unknown amount of bowls.
A lot of times I get "shivers" too. I get a really cold feeling, start shaking, and my skin feels like its turning to ice, but also it feels like I'm melting/freezing over and over again.
I am inspired by cannabis to write. Writing is really my one true passion in life, and a lot of the times the stuff I write while stoned is simply beautiful. It is a shame that I have to go through a panic attack to write it though.
Its probably worth noting that I tend to freak out more on high quality weed, and I actually prefer shwag because it tends to give me that "body high" I love.
My psychedelic/hallucinogenic experience is not extensive, but certainly I wouldn't consider myself unexperienced with psychedelics. I have been on AMT, plenty of Salvia break-through experiences, LSA, 3rd plateau doses of DXM, and more I can't think of right now. In all honesty, weed has taken my mind to depths that no other drug has taken me. It is the most powerful change in cognition I have ever experienced from a drug.
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anyway, so you wanna know why? yeah hang on. cause every reason i smoked weed after takin X + ? was the feeling that release of dopamine through my veins. im not even kidding. the satisfaction of ripping a big fat cone BEFORE IT'S EVEN HIT MY LUNGS, dopamine. the sweet smell of the sticky icky, dopamine. chopping, dopamine. the stone, completely undesirable. every time. until now. the last few nights were the first time in more then a year that i have enjoyed nothing but the high. guess what though, was kinda shit! realised my tolerance is through the roof and getting high is as shit as some of the first (or should i say last) times i smoked- ya know when ya tolerance is high as fuck and you couldnt get stoned long enough to crack a fat. yeah, damn ay. self administered cognitive information injections directly into my eyes saved me from the dopamine prison that i have called home sw..sw..tt..nice home, for the last year or so.
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