chicpoena
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2007
- Messages
- 3,240
I've finally decided to put down in words an experience I had over two years ago, in February of 2006. It was one of the most powerful psychedelic experiences of my life and it was on cannabis, suprisingly enough.
At that point in my life I smoked pot all day, everyday, and had been for a long time. I was extremely experienced with weed and was floored by the experience that occured.
About a week before, I had my last shroom trip. I ate only 1g and it was a classic bad trip. It was a crypt trip inside a dorm room and I was feeling horrible. To get things going in a more positive direction, my friends and I went for a walk on a nearby golf course and it was covered in snow. However, it had warmed up slightly so there were pockets of melting snow. To me, the snow which was pocketed with black holes of mud, about the size of bowling balls, looked like a field of skulls. Suddenly I was trapped in a graveyard and surrounded by death everywhere. Eventually I came down and things *seemed* fine.
Well, this shroom experience must have catalyzed a massive psychic blossom inside of me. Exactly one week after tripping, my boyfriend and I got high in my dorm room. No big deal, I did this everyday. I felt a very strange energy gathering in my gut-not anxiety, but energy. We decided to go get pizza and as I was walking out my door I looked at myself in the mirror--
*BAM*!!!!!!!
[kensho]
It felt like I had been struck by lightning. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't see *me*, I saw a petite female ape wearing strange fabrics. It was as though I was looking at myself from the perspective of the universe, and not from my own perspective. While gazing into my eyes, I began to feel the energy shift within me. A massive change was taking place, and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't breathe, I had to get out of my room!
My boyfriend and I ran across the street to the local pizza place, and I was still feeling this massive flow of energy. I was now floating outside of my body, outside of my MIND! Everything looked strange and out of place. My boyfriend looked like a siberian tiger (he's a red head) and everyone in the pizza place looked like an animal as well. My first thought was that I was seeing people as spirit animals, but I (wrongly) dismissed that notion as insane.
30 minutes after my Kensho experience I was moving into full blown panic attack mode. We headed to a party and I was still floating outside of myself, but watching through my own eyes. Kind of like Lotte in the movie "Being John Malkovich."
Everyone's faces looked strange, like I was tripping. Faces seemed to fall apart, and while all the constituents where there it felt as though I couldn't see the whole. I was disconnected from everyone and everything. I told my boyfriend I couldn't take it any longer and so we left and went back to my dorm. I was in this state for 3 days, and the visions of people as strange animals continued for over a year. I became afraid of watching TV and somewhat withdrew inside myself.
My kensho experience with cannabis truly ignited my journey on the spiritual path of life, and awakened me to my own biology. In retrospect it seems so silly that I was so afraid of my own biology. I AM a petite female ape who wears colored cloths! Why did this frighten me so much? Because contemporary society, and many religions, teach us that we are NOT animals. We are something better. But you know what? We're not! And that's what I felt that fateful day.
I woke up to my identity as a living, breathing part of life on planet Earth. Not something above life, but a part of the big "LIFE." I now feel infinite comfort in my unity with all living things and am eternally grateful for this experience.
substancecode_cannabis
substancecode_marijuana
At that point in my life I smoked pot all day, everyday, and had been for a long time. I was extremely experienced with weed and was floored by the experience that occured.
About a week before, I had my last shroom trip. I ate only 1g and it was a classic bad trip. It was a crypt trip inside a dorm room and I was feeling horrible. To get things going in a more positive direction, my friends and I went for a walk on a nearby golf course and it was covered in snow. However, it had warmed up slightly so there were pockets of melting snow. To me, the snow which was pocketed with black holes of mud, about the size of bowling balls, looked like a field of skulls. Suddenly I was trapped in a graveyard and surrounded by death everywhere. Eventually I came down and things *seemed* fine.
Well, this shroom experience must have catalyzed a massive psychic blossom inside of me. Exactly one week after tripping, my boyfriend and I got high in my dorm room. No big deal, I did this everyday. I felt a very strange energy gathering in my gut-not anxiety, but energy. We decided to go get pizza and as I was walking out my door I looked at myself in the mirror--
*BAM*!!!!!!!
[kensho]
It felt like I had been struck by lightning. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't see *me*, I saw a petite female ape wearing strange fabrics. It was as though I was looking at myself from the perspective of the universe, and not from my own perspective. While gazing into my eyes, I began to feel the energy shift within me. A massive change was taking place, and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't breathe, I had to get out of my room!
My boyfriend and I ran across the street to the local pizza place, and I was still feeling this massive flow of energy. I was now floating outside of my body, outside of my MIND! Everything looked strange and out of place. My boyfriend looked like a siberian tiger (he's a red head) and everyone in the pizza place looked like an animal as well. My first thought was that I was seeing people as spirit animals, but I (wrongly) dismissed that notion as insane.
30 minutes after my Kensho experience I was moving into full blown panic attack mode. We headed to a party and I was still floating outside of myself, but watching through my own eyes. Kind of like Lotte in the movie "Being John Malkovich."
Everyone's faces looked strange, like I was tripping. Faces seemed to fall apart, and while all the constituents where there it felt as though I couldn't see the whole. I was disconnected from everyone and everything. I told my boyfriend I couldn't take it any longer and so we left and went back to my dorm. I was in this state for 3 days, and the visions of people as strange animals continued for over a year. I became afraid of watching TV and somewhat withdrew inside myself.
My kensho experience with cannabis truly ignited my journey on the spiritual path of life, and awakened me to my own biology. In retrospect it seems so silly that I was so afraid of my own biology. I AM a petite female ape who wears colored cloths! Why did this frighten me so much? Because contemporary society, and many religions, teach us that we are NOT animals. We are something better. But you know what? We're not! And that's what I felt that fateful day.
I woke up to my identity as a living, breathing part of life on planet Earth. Not something above life, but a part of the big "LIFE." I now feel infinite comfort in my unity with all living things and am eternally grateful for this experience.
substancecode_cannabis
substancecode_marijuana
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