Plague Bearer
Bluelighter
Strange Weed experience
Ok, I think I need to set the scene so as to understand how this odd experience came about.
Wedensday night (I think, it's all so hazy) I had a high dose of acid (read my trip report here if u like), tripped all night, then got a few hours sleep that morning, then was up all day, then got a good nights sleep that night i think. Friday morning slept on the train, then slept some
more that night (I was really fucking tired - don't know why). Then friday night, went raving, at about 12pm had 1/2 a Smiley (nice pure mdma pill) then had a line of speed, then had about 1/2 a point of speed, then had another half a Smiley. Then naturally enjoyed the night and the next day (Sat), then went home, tried to sleep for about 2.5 hours but couldn't got up went out to another fucking awesome rave, had 1/2 a Smiley, a line of speed, a hit of acid, then another half a point of some fine rock, then had half a pokemon (reasonably good mdma), then a small line of Crystal Meth. Lets say I'm new to amphetemines, I'm used to partying on acid, but not pills or meth. Ok, so lets say by the end of this I'm quite fucked, I have badly disturbed sleep the next rest of the day (or another half, I cannot really remember), I finally wake up scattered as fuck (I had a blast though), confused and tired and bored. So I get a friend over for some pipes. I can barely feel the weed, then it catches up with me, my friend arrives we have some more, get pretty high (I don't usually need much).
This is where the story starts the rest was just an explanation of how I got into this state
This started off as a nice high, we watch some comedy and I eat for the first time in I don't know how long, the food is nice and I'm laughing cos I'm high. Then things turn nasty, I didn't panic or anything else, but I suspect the weed just triggered me to be even more fucked in my drug exausted state. So I start getting majorly paranoid (this has happened before of course) but the odd thing this time wasn't that I was paranoid with other people, I was glad my friend was there and wasn't suspicious about him, I was paranoid about all of life and reality. I felt then and there that it was more fake than I have ever felt (I trip on acid and Salvia) in my life before. I suddenly linked all my childhood memories and the nostelgic feelings that anyone can get to a fraudulent feeling. It hurt even more because I knew these special memories I had were all false and made up. For a long time I've felt that there was this sublime feeling of memories I have of cold electric blue shapes that seem to be the universe that I can never reach and drugs has been the only way. This was the first time it all seemed to make perfect sense to me, I could totally relate to these distant memories and emotions and I identified them as the stark nothingness which is all that exists behind the wool pulled over our eyes which is reality. I got images in my head of scary forests looking like acid art, with mushrooms etc. And they all reminded me of something before my birth. I felt as if this were the cold, horrible, horrible lonliness that is life, I didn't know whether to believe anyone else existed, or that if they did I was too far away from them. I felt as if we (or maybe only I) were created in this cold electric lonliness and thats all there is to look forward to when you die. I felt terribly alone and was glad my friend was there (unfortunately while I enjoy his company I couldn't go to him for support because of the kind of person he is). Anyway I felt so fucking lonely, as if I was the only person who existed, as if everything I held dear was FAKE, and false. We were watching a movie at the time, and an African Americans was talking and I liked to think about how people strived to solve racial differences, then I felt that the whole concept of racism and skin colour and even skin and people and everything were all made up.
I was horribly lonely, but not panicing, I felt like *sigh* yes, you knew this was the way it is.
I don't know how to get it, I shortly went to bed tired as fuck and seem fine now, just still tired.
I just don't know how to describe it, because for the first it seemed to make a bit of sense. Well thanks for reading and tell me what you think.
- Plague
Ok, I think I need to set the scene so as to understand how this odd experience came about.
Wedensday night (I think, it's all so hazy) I had a high dose of acid (read my trip report here if u like), tripped all night, then got a few hours sleep that morning, then was up all day, then got a good nights sleep that night i think. Friday morning slept on the train, then slept some
more that night (I was really fucking tired - don't know why). Then friday night, went raving, at about 12pm had 1/2 a Smiley (nice pure mdma pill) then had a line of speed, then had about 1/2 a point of speed, then had another half a Smiley. Then naturally enjoyed the night and the next day (Sat), then went home, tried to sleep for about 2.5 hours but couldn't got up went out to another fucking awesome rave, had 1/2 a Smiley, a line of speed, a hit of acid, then another half a point of some fine rock, then had half a pokemon (reasonably good mdma), then a small line of Crystal Meth. Lets say I'm new to amphetemines, I'm used to partying on acid, but not pills or meth. Ok, so lets say by the end of this I'm quite fucked, I have badly disturbed sleep the next rest of the day (or another half, I cannot really remember), I finally wake up scattered as fuck (I had a blast though), confused and tired and bored. So I get a friend over for some pipes. I can barely feel the weed, then it catches up with me, my friend arrives we have some more, get pretty high (I don't usually need much).
This is where the story starts the rest was just an explanation of how I got into this state
This started off as a nice high, we watch some comedy and I eat for the first time in I don't know how long, the food is nice and I'm laughing cos I'm high. Then things turn nasty, I didn't panic or anything else, but I suspect the weed just triggered me to be even more fucked in my drug exausted state. So I start getting majorly paranoid (this has happened before of course) but the odd thing this time wasn't that I was paranoid with other people, I was glad my friend was there and wasn't suspicious about him, I was paranoid about all of life and reality. I felt then and there that it was more fake than I have ever felt (I trip on acid and Salvia) in my life before. I suddenly linked all my childhood memories and the nostelgic feelings that anyone can get to a fraudulent feeling. It hurt even more because I knew these special memories I had were all false and made up. For a long time I've felt that there was this sublime feeling of memories I have of cold electric blue shapes that seem to be the universe that I can never reach and drugs has been the only way. This was the first time it all seemed to make perfect sense to me, I could totally relate to these distant memories and emotions and I identified them as the stark nothingness which is all that exists behind the wool pulled over our eyes which is reality. I got images in my head of scary forests looking like acid art, with mushrooms etc. And they all reminded me of something before my birth. I felt as if this were the cold, horrible, horrible lonliness that is life, I didn't know whether to believe anyone else existed, or that if they did I was too far away from them. I felt as if we (or maybe only I) were created in this cold electric lonliness and thats all there is to look forward to when you die. I felt terribly alone and was glad my friend was there (unfortunately while I enjoy his company I couldn't go to him for support because of the kind of person he is). Anyway I felt so fucking lonely, as if I was the only person who existed, as if everything I held dear was FAKE, and false. We were watching a movie at the time, and an African Americans was talking and I liked to think about how people strived to solve racial differences, then I felt that the whole concept of racism and skin colour and even skin and people and everything were all made up.
I was horribly lonely, but not panicing, I felt like *sigh* yes, you knew this was the way it is.
I don't know how to get it, I shortly went to bed tired as fuck and seem fine now, just still tired.
I just don't know how to describe it, because for the first it seemed to make a bit of sense. Well thanks for reading and tell me what you think.
- Plague
