Cancer.

I originally posted this in the lounge but maybe it was too depressing to post there in an "off topic" area.

I have no fkn idea why I am posting this here or if this is the right sub forum to post a thread like this, but it helps and it gonna take me some time typing thru my blurry eyes. A little background. My younger brother is fighting squamous cell carcinoma. Much of his face is gone. His nose, all of his teeth, his jawbones, parts of his arms, legs, and so on.

He is a guy that could carry a fridge on his back while running a marathon, now he is just a shell of that. On top of the physical it has psychologically devastated him(and myself, mom, etc). He won't go outside anymore. I have nightmares every night about it and even scream in my sleep. I usually wake around this time from them and end up staying up.

What makes it worse is that I often wonder how many shut ins there are that are suffering right now because they won't go outside or get treatment. Are afraid, etc. This is an odd feeling for me because I am normally kind of an asshole.

Anyway, as mentioned I just felt like sharing. Because strangers, third party and all that.

Go hug your family, please.

 

To answer the question posed by the moderator that closed it. Melatonin. You want vivid nightmares take melatonin.

 

I am so, so sorry. This is such a monumental tragedy for all of you. Accepting the worst life has to offer is probably the most difficult part of being human. You start by throwing the concept "fair" out the window, For me, that is the biggest hurdle--I just get stuck in the anger and despair on behalf of the person suffering that does not deserve it.

Do you live in a place where there is good support for cancer patients and their families? Would it help you and your mom to get some support for your pain around your brother's situation?

I just can't even imagine how hard this is for you. My older son had to deal with the death of his brother but it was probably the year prior, watching his brother suffer so much psychologically that will leave the biggest scars. I know for me, they are they most painful.

You take care of yourself while you are trying to take care of him. If you ever need to talk, I'm around.

 

I find this odd to say but it's not as hard now as it was during the first few months. My mother has really been the hero in all of this. What you said about my mother is something to seriously consider. She has taken on so much. She likely needs to talk to a third party altho she doesn't show signs of distress.

Yes, there is a place within the hospital where patients and even family members of the patients can go once a week for a hair cut/trim, and even a massage. It's called The Sunshine Room.

After care is amazing in Canada, unfortunately it was a massive task and took very long wait times just to get a diagnosis.

Here is a link to the Sunshine Room.

http://www.cdha.nshealth.ca/sunshine-room

Was your older sons brother also your son? Also, thank you for your offer.