Cancer patient junkie questions

[raphmeister23]

Hey everyone. I have been reading this forum for a while now but never became a member. This is an intro thread so Im gonna do as quick of a rundown as I can. SO!!!! I am 37 years old and I am from Westerly Rhode Island. I started abusing heroin when I was 14. I had a pretty decent habit throughout high school but I had an engineering Job that paid for said habit. Anyway, when I was 17 I knew things werent going in a good direction so I joined the ARMY. I served 8 years clean, and I lived next to amsterdam for 3 of those years. Well when I got out I had a good chunk of clean time. Then in early 2011 My fathere got sick from drinking and I watched him die over the next 9 months. Well I received about $25K from his life insurance and I was bummed out. Basically I went on a LONG binge. So between 2011 and 2015 I was using on and off. Well in september of 2015 I had a funny lump in my throat, which after seeing a few doctors, turned out to be a very aggressive cancer. Its call Spindle cell variety Synovial Sarcoma of the neck. So they started treatment immediately at Smilow Cancer hospital at Yale University. I lost all my hair and voice and taste....etc... and because I have had a HUGE habit they give me basically ANYTHING I WANT. Just since last week, I have been coming off 150mcg (75mcgX2) every other day, 8mg of dilauded every 3 hours and 40mg of liquid morphine every 4hrs. I was actually higher on these meds when I was doing radiation therapy, but thats another day. So anyway, as of a couple of weeks ago my cancer is currently in remission and Im trying to do it right. I have been high for the last year straight and its putting a strain on my marriage. Well thats it, thanks for the welcome, ill see u soon.

 

[Pembroke]

Welcome!

I'm a long time lurker who also just joined, and I have a somewhat similar story. I was never deep into "illicit" drugs, and my "habit" has stemmed from severe physical illness. I am not expected to ever come off of everything because of two specific health issues that will not ever be resolved, and my usage is more or less under control. I have a great doctor who treats me but who isn't one of those "whatever you want" types. I did end up in some trouble - same as you - after my father died. I mortgaged my house to put him through rehab twice, but he ultimately couldn't overcome it. I miss him every day. After he died, my use didn't go up immediately because I had to deal with so much shit after he died. Then things calmed down and I was alone - he had lived with me since my mother died - and I went through $50,000 in a few months, high off of everything from drugs to shopping to gambling, just running from the hole in my heart. Cancer treatment is what put me back on course because I had something to focus on, and lots of therapy.

Anyway, I'm rambling... but I'm happy to see a similar new face! ������

 

[spacejunk]

Welcome to you both.
Not an uncommon story by any means, i'm sure.
I hope you both find bluelight helpful for your respective issues.

Glad to hear the cancer is in remission raph.