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Can past bad experiences/relationships with men turn a straight woman lesbian?

nuttynutskin

nuttynutskin

Bluelighter
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May 15, 2011
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The other thread relating to feminism and bad past experiences with men made me think of this...

It seems just as a lot of feminists have bad past experiences regarding men, there's also a good amount of lesbians that also do. So my question is can a straight woman turn lesbian if they have enough bad experiences, or is there already some lesbian traits there?

Also why does this only seem to be a thing with women? I've never heard of a guy going gay because of bad past experiences with women. Although that could be partly because men are TYPICALLY stronger and less likely to be abused. And I'm not saying that to be sexist, it's just biology.
 
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Bearlove said:
No.
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So you don't even think it can tip the scales so to speak? I knew a chick that used to go to my gym who I talked to casually whenever I had the chance. She was a lesbian and into working out and self defense. I never asked her but somehow one time she brought up that she had been in a severely abusive relationship with a guy. So what was she during that time, just a closet lesbian?
 
Bearlove said:
No.
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Great argument there...

I think it almost has to play a part unless the woman's actually never been with a guy at all before...just from my very rudimentary understanding of grade-school politics, having a boyfriend or a guy as a prom date is a bit of a status symbol for girls in middle/high school, just like it's the opposite for guys to have girlfriends, except that guys don't really gossip or notice this stuff as much as girls do. It's not that hard to imagine that future lesbians would have at least had some experience with guys in the past.

Also I feel like this whole discussion just plays into how girls are supposedly more fluid in their sexuality...

Or how guys would just be more aggressive in pursuing girls in middle/high school/college/the workplace anyway - isn't it pretty commonly accepted that beautiful women are just asked out much more than very handsome men? The guy still has to have the initiative, regardless of attractiveness...
 
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If a person is hetero/straight then they're not going to somehow become bisexual/gay/lesbian if they have bad experiences.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
If a person is hetero/straight then they're not going to somehow become bisexual/gay/lesbian if they have bad experiences.
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I tend to side with this...

I've had some bad experiences with men, enough to have questioned my sexuality before. But at the end of the day turns out it's really hard to choose to be gay.
 
i know one guy who thought he was bisexual after having some man abuse him but in the end he was only getting with women so i think a particularly bad experience at any point can affect you for a while. how it affects you? not sure cos everyone is different.

i dont really think that your preference is changed by buying into ideas like feminism because having an idealogical viewpoint is very much not the same as having a sexual preference and to link the two is not really accurate.

to be a lesbian or gay you have to stand up for yourself because you will inevitably get some shit for it varying in intensity over the world-speaking from personal experience. having rights in one country but not in others doesn't indicate freedom as much as it can appear in enlightened palces
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
If a person is hetero/straight then they're not going to somehow become bisexual/gay/lesbian if they have bad experiences.
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yes but human sexuality is not black or white like that. what if, for instance, somebody is "mostly straight" or only "incidentally homosexual" as defined by the kinsey scale, and a bad experience with the opposite sex causes them to only seek out sexual encounters with the same sex? that might be a better way to phrase the OP
 
Roger&Me said:
yes but human sexuality is not black or white like that. what if, for instance, somebody is "mostly straight" or only "incidentally homosexual" as defined by the kinsey scale, and a bad experience with the opposite sex causes them to only seek out sexual encounters with the same sex? that might be a better way to phrase the OP
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OK I wasn't sure if the OP was asking this though, since if someone is hetero/straight they're not going to be bisexual. Either way if someone's low or high but not a 6 on the Kinsey scale or identifies as "mostly straight" or "mostly gay" or even "heteroflexible/homoflexible" those are all just other terms for being bisexual.
 
Yes absolutely happens everyday. Most likely the female will be young, confused, overly emotional, and possibly perceived as weak.
 
No, people are either straight, gay, bi, whatever. Having a bad experience with one gender won't make you turn the other way.
 
Yeah nice theory llama but I'll wait till I see some concrete proof and that will probably be... Never.
 
llama112 said:
No, people are either straight, gay, bi, whatever. Having a bad experience with one gender won't make you turn the other way.
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You're right it won't make them change sexualities, but I've seen a lot of bi people who will take one bad experience and claim that they're on one end of the spectrum. Many years down the road they'll open up again and admit that they swing both ways.
 
The answer is no but if a girl finds a lover and is happy with the relationship she might stay in that relationship forever.
 
I've had plenty of bad experiences and I'm still into guys.

Someone is either gay/bisexual or they are not. If someone gets involved in a same sex relationship after getting out of a bad opposite sex relationship then there were already desires or curiosity to begin with. No one can "turn gay" just like someone can't be "cured" either.
 
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