Can only get around 6 months clean

[ArrestdDevelopment]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone else shared a problem similar to mine. Been fighting addiction issues for about 9 years, started with oxy then upgraded to almost a gram a day IV heroin habit. I've done suboxone maintenance, high dose loperamide, and cold turkey. Jail, drug treatment, and NA are quite familiar for me but it seems like every time I can get clean I can only fight it off for around 6 months give or take and just say fuck it and give in. I know I need to fight through it and what drugs have done to my life but it's as if my brain just flips a switch and says fuck it, even going as far as considering OD'ing on purpose so I don't have to deal with it anymore just so I'll use again (but immediately changes the OD thought as soon as I cop). Anyone else deal with anything similar?

 

[Vega89]

Have you changed your lifestyle? Delete people that can get you drugs from your phone- make it hard to get something. I still deal with cravings but fortunately, after 8 months I have no idea where to even begin to find something. It would take some serious searching. If you haven't already, try to stay busy doing something you enjoy. It'll still be hard, but it'll be possible. Good luck.

 

[ArrestdDevelopment]

Thanks for the reply.
I ended up moving from Florida to Wisconsin to try and get away from the crowd I was running with. I was fine for a couple months when I came up here, then my cravings convinced me to learn how to get junk off of the dark web until I found a connect up here (luckily its about a 2 and a half hour drive round trip). Next week I'll be leaving for inpatient rehab for the first time so I'm hoping that will help. It's only for 30 days though which kinda has me concerned.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Thanks for the reply.
I ended up moving from Florida to Wisconsin to try and get away from the crowd I was running with. I was fine for a couple months when I came up here, then my cravings convinced me to learn how to get junk off of the dark web until I found a connect up here (luckily its about a 2 and a half hour drive round trip). Next week I'll be leaving for inpatient rehab for the first time so I'm hoping that will help. It's only for 30 days though which kinda has me concerned.

Don't give up hope, and best of luck in rehab

 

[ArrestdDevelopment]

Thanks Captain, they preach cognitive behavioral therapy there which I've heard some really good things about.

 

[Moreaux]

Cognitive behavioral therapy was a game changer for me with respect to staying sober. Quite frankly I wasn't ready to quit until I was able to effectively manage stress and anxiety in my life. Inpatient was a great platform in which to focus on mindfulness while being completely removed from daily stress and the ability to obtain substance. In my own experience, being able understand and to manage the factors that drove me to use was key in being able to maintain sobriety. I have two years off booze and six years off everything else, and now am in the frame of mind where I have no desire to use. Being around alcohol no longer bothers me, and I can go out and have fun without having to participate in substances. That's largely due to cognitive behavioral therapy. Good luck!

 

[Jabberwocky]

Methadone worked for me, and I had similar experiences in terms of trying to recover with stuff like buprenorphine, NA, rehab, etc. And considering I'm almost off the methadone and healthier than I've ever been, it must have been a good choice for me.

I mean, it wasn't just methadone, it was like methadone plus a great psychiatrist, psychologist and awesome methadone clinic (nothing like the shite clinics you hear about). That and a supportive family, and now super supportive girlfriend, and becoming much more involved in vipassana and my local (non-junk-using) community.

So it wasn't just the methadone, although the medication did help to provide the foundation that made everything else not so much possible as much more useful than otherwise.