My generalizaed anxiety is getting out of hand these days. I can't really do anything new without my brain immediately locking me down with all the possible disaster scenarios.
You see even taking any pharmaceutical drugs I forbid myself from doing because it is tested on animals. And tehre are some things which seem promising which would likely help me, most notably tianeptine. which is supposedly fantastic for anxiety issues and really suits me with that short half life.
So do you think its justifiable to say that something like tianeptine could have been made without testing on aimals. For instance the good dr shulgin didn;t believe in animal testing and so I guess just went straigh into testing them on himself. Isn't that testamaent that it wcould possibly be done without?
ie it wasnt in my necessary that they were tested on animals so maybe I can tell myself if it wasnt necessary it could have been done without doing so and therefore it might be ok for me to take something which would help me? I feel so guilty about that shit. I dont believe in any afterlife except for being wormfood but i get fears imainging there being some final judgement where you have to pay for your crimes and if you took drugs tested on animals you would be punished for it. Not to mention the day to day heavy burden of guilt I feel from it.
I seem to need to do such ethical gymnastics for this draconian superego to perhaps allow me a little leeway.
As much as I hated alcohol I remember it used to be great to get you in a headspace of not giving a shit about things such that Id be willing to try something new.
Out of desperation I took a little bit of promethazine in the hopes, being a sedative, it might give me a little breathing space and maybe allow me a new perspective for that short time; even that was filled with anxiety though thinking of feeling like shit for the long 20 half life since I cant really remember what it was like it had jsut been sitting in my medicine bag. but of course that is a pharmaceutical so I have already sinned now.
You see even taking any pharmaceutical drugs I forbid myself from doing because it is tested on animals. And tehre are some things which seem promising which would likely help me, most notably tianeptine. which is supposedly fantastic for anxiety issues and really suits me with that short half life.
So do you think its justifiable to say that something like tianeptine could have been made without testing on aimals. For instance the good dr shulgin didn;t believe in animal testing and so I guess just went straigh into testing them on himself. Isn't that testamaent that it wcould possibly be done without?
ie it wasnt in my necessary that they were tested on animals so maybe I can tell myself if it wasnt necessary it could have been done without doing so and therefore it might be ok for me to take something which would help me? I feel so guilty about that shit. I dont believe in any afterlife except for being wormfood but i get fears imainging there being some final judgement where you have to pay for your crimes and if you took drugs tested on animals you would be punished for it. Not to mention the day to day heavy burden of guilt I feel from it.
I seem to need to do such ethical gymnastics for this draconian superego to perhaps allow me a little leeway.
As much as I hated alcohol I remember it used to be great to get you in a headspace of not giving a shit about things such that Id be willing to try something new.
Out of desperation I took a little bit of promethazine in the hopes, being a sedative, it might give me a little breathing space and maybe allow me a new perspective for that short time; even that was filled with anxiety though thinking of feeling like shit for the long 20 half life since I cant really remember what it was like it had jsut been sitting in my medicine bag. but of course that is a pharmaceutical so I have already sinned now.