• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Can I ever stay clean???

S

Sdc378

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 12, 2016
Messages
2
Location
Northern CA
Wow. So tired of living a lie. Pretending to be clean when I am not. Been using adderral and a lot of opiates, norco (lame) oxy, whatever else I can. Haven't done h or method or any IV drugs for 5 yrs but I know if I don't get clean, I will go back to that. I think about it all the time. Help?
 
Im literally in the same boat. So you're not alone. Havent done IV dope in 5 years but am always going from dope sniffed or oxy to sub if im low on money. Adderall binges 3x a month. I dont have the answers friend but i hope we both figure it out soon cuz those short highs are not worth a lifetime of misery.

I wish u luck
 
I'm writing a long thread about my own experience kicking the habit - stay tuned I'll post when its up :)
 
Thanks for the reply. I changed my username and opened another acct. It's time4change. Hope we can both end this cycle.
 
Hate to preach cause I'm stuck too, but try not to be all black and white in your recovery. My mistake last sober period.

I guess this space BL is a pre warning stage in our recoveries. Warnings signs for potential obstacles.
 
I'm so glad to see others struggle the very same as I ! Trying once again to change but oh so hard!
 
Today I have no drugs. No opiates or muscle relaxers or amphetamines. Kinda afraid of the week to follow. Just trying to live in the moment. I hope everyone else is doing well. I'll check back tomorrow
 
Right? Short stupid highs are nothing like the old days of IV use, so I am always disappointed. Just afraid to feel things I guess?
 
I think the whole key to recovery, the one that unlocks the gate to all the other necessary components, is to become unafraid to feel. So, what you just said is a very wise observation that you might want to explore in more depth. What are you afraid of? What makes the pain of feeling lonely or bored or disappointed or afraid unbearable? Has it always been this way or can you travel back to a time when it was not? I think that the relationship we can nurture with our own emotions is really the secret to a healthy life.
 
I'm the same way man. You're not alone at all. I can't deal with emotional pain. That's my problem. When my life is good, I'm sober. When it sucks, I'm getting high. Right now it sucks.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top