I dont want want to be on drugs forever.
Don't worry –
none of us live forever, so this isn't possible in the literal sense. Moreover,
one day you'll be too old to take a bunch of shit that might spike your blood pressure, so I'm of the opinion that if you can enjoy it without wreaking havoc on your life,
enjoy it while you can. Smoke 'em if you gotta 'em and focus on creating something that will last longer than you will. Life is fleeting.
I could probably be fine without taking aderall period.
Yes, obviously. You don't
need much of anything beyond the basics, but
why not use the tools available to you?
But i keep taking it because the addict in me wants to have drugs on hand if i ever choose to go back to drugs.
That doesn't make sense. Also, take it easy on all that "addict" talk. Did you know the word "addict" comes from the same etymology as "diction" and "dictionary"? "
Addict" literally translates as "spoken for" which, to me, is a lame, flawed analogy.
Moreover, people throw that word around a
lot – "oh try these new [XYZ snacks]; they're
so addictive." And I'm thinking: ok, are we taking this word seriously or not? I accept that sometimes people have
compulsive behavior pattern disorder and that it can become
entwined w/substance abuse disorders and the medically recognized conditions of
drug-tolerance and
drug-dependency. Insofar as "addiction" is shorthand for this phenomenon, I get that it's
more convenient and helps us
not squander syllables, so I mostly just accept the term and occasionally use it myself. But I still wanted to point that out and urge you to
accept yourself for who you are. Self-acceptance is part of loving yourself, which I think is really necessary if you want to be able to love others without hindering them. Make peace with who you are and figure out how to pursue your own happiness without infringing on anyone else's rights. Another, rewarding, possible path in life is to
help someone else realize their own dreams and goals, as this in itself can be a
deeply satisfying experience in unexpected ways, I've found.
Not on drugs now but fantasize about doing it in the future.
Don't talk about it;
be about it.
I dont like being dependent on shit. I do know i need prozac at least for now
And
there's nothing wrong with that. Yes you could probably survive without prozac, but
who wants to struggle and suffer? There is no need to cast any aspersions on yourself or think of yourself as some permanently crippled "recovering addict" Where does one draw the line? I'd say I'm pretty addicted to eating food and getting nourishment. I'm addicted to respiration and staying reasonably warm. One could make arguments I'm addicted to haircuts, shaving, brushing my teeth, exercising daily, showering, and wearing clean clothes. I'm addicted to being alive, I guess you could say. Certainly there have been a few moments in my life where I didn't want to keep on living; at those moments I wanted to end it (I mean who hasn't contemplated suicide a least a little bit, right?) but dammit, I'm just too addicted to staying alive… not the Bee Gees song, either – it's a good tune, don't get me wrong, I just mean it's very difficult for me to override my survival instinct, because, well I'm cross-addicted to all these tactics to keep myself alive. This hyperbole is, of course, both absurd and intentional…
Some people self-medicate for one reason or another. Some people are depressed, others are afraid for the future, and
many people are suffering from various forms of PTSD. Some people just find life too goddamn much to bear,
and/or find it unbelievably depressing, drab, cruel, or—perhaps worst of all—indifferent. And
all of us desire escape in one form or another, be it movies, books, the so-called "News", music videos, TV, Bluelight, NA meetings, porn, drugs, Chinese food, booze, video games, gambling, or literally whatever. It's a survival tactic. We are all trying to make our way through this world, you know, no need in giving people a hard time, especially yourself. The word "addict" has become this loaded, pejorative term now, and I think you should try speaking more nicely about—and to—yourself and practice self-encouragement and acceptance. Just my unsolicited food-for-thought anyway.