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Can I bring y'all into my marriage for a moment?

You punished him with hard sex! I think you really aren't mad at him.

BTW why didn't you offer to go with him?
 
Yeah, I am not the kind of girl who sets a curfew and usually I am really laid back about him having fun. This was a little different because I didn't know about it in advance.

That sentence in itself is ridiculous.

So what if you didn't know about it in advance...
How much of an advance notice do you want?
He should be allowed to make plans at the drop of a dime.
He should be allowed to make plans without "clearing" it with you as well.

As far as him saying he'd be an hour and a half- and then being "late"... like what's the deal with that?
He was probably having a good time and enjoying himself and letting loose a bit. When people are out having a real good time it IS possible to lose track of time. I can guarantee he wasn't sitting there saying "8:30, gotta be home in a half hour. 8:45, okay I got 15 minutes til I have to be home. 8:50, 10 minutes left, I wonder what my girlfriend is doing at home..."

Although you were sitting there counting down the minutes... and texting... and etc.


Seriously, no wonder he came home and just went to sleep without you knowing.
 
As far as him saying he'd be an hour and a half- and then being "late"... like what's the deal with that?
He was probably having a good time and enjoying himself and letting loose a bit. When people are out having a real good time it IS possible to lose track of time. I can guarantee he wasn't sitting there saying "8:30, gotta be home in a half hour. 8:45, okay I got 15 minutes til I have to be home. 8:50, 10 minutes left, I wonder what my girlfriend is doing at home..."

I do... it's called being responsible. Cause sometimes it has more consequence. Like getting charged with AWOL, or missing a flight, or missing an exam, or not getting my Rx refilled. You know, shit that matters? It's called having your shit together, and I think I owe my S/O every bit as much respect (more actually) as I do my Commander, my professor, or my doctor.
 
That doesn't even make any sense.
If you can't go out for a couple of hours without worrying about all the shit that's going on in your life, than you probably shouldn't be going out in the first place.
 
^Um they are married so it is a little different to a bf/gf staying out later than they say they will. Beachcat was overreacting but if it was me in her hubbys shoes I would have sent a text saying something like "having a great time & I will be home later" & not leave it open for debate.

If I was Beachcat I would be worried about the fact that he is an hour & a 1/2 late when he said he would be home, he has not responded to my text & he is drink driving. Any loving spouse should be concerned factoring in those elements.
 
^Um they are married so it is a little different to a bf/gf staying out later than they say they will. Beachcat was overreacting but if it was me in her hubbys shoes I would have sent a text saying something like "having a great time & I will be home later" & not leave it open for debate.

If I was Beachcat I would be worried about the fact that he is an hour & a 1/2 late when he said he would be home, he has not responded to my text & he is drink driving. Any loving spouse should be concerned factoring in those elements.

Thank you.. It was exactly this

I did overreact
He should have texted and I would have relaxed

ILYWAK, for what it is worth, I only texted the one time.....I HATE girls or guys who send text after text
Yes, he he is a grown man who can go out when he pleases, but we also have a small child, so I think as the spouse who is left behind to do all the bedtime stuff, he at least owed me some courtesy.

Honestly, I would have been much happier if he had said, "hey, I am going out and having some fun....I don't know what time I will be back, but I will be careful". I can respect that WAY more than promising to be back by a certain time, then welshing on it.
 
I can see your point Beachy since you were at home alone & besides being pissed off I am sure you were worried as any good spouse would be. Hopefully it is an isolated incident & "just one of those things" :). Also great to see you only sent one text rather than a string of progressively more abusive by the second ones. On the plus side you got some good sex out of it & I hope you were selfish about it making sure you were satisfied first & foremost!
 
hahahaha this and the previous post - fuck yeah I love angry sex. the apologetic blowjob is over the top..I'm sure it was a appreciated though. DOn't be someone who he can walk over though - service him after he's been a bit of an insensitive liar is like rewarding a child for misbehaviour.

Ok, so now that I have read everyone's responses, I feel bad for being such a cunt in the first place...

So, I am thinking that when he gets home from work, I will apologize to him for being such an uptight bitch and tell him that it all stemmed from me just wanting to spend time with him. And then maybe suck his cock really good later. I definitely do not want to be the mother figure in our relationship.

Thanks again.

You punished him with hard sex! I think you really aren't mad at him.

BTW why didn't you offer to go with him?


because they got a kid.
 
Driving would be my only concern if my husband told me he was going out for the evening and already half in the bag.
If we did not have set plans together for the evening I would say see ya and have fun. Be safe.
 
Do what most people do when their friends / spouses do something that pisses them off: mutter about it when he gets home, go to bed, and wake up with a clean slate. The worry / frustration seems completely unwarranted to me, unless--as others have suggested--there are other trust issues involved beyond a single night on the town.
 
That doesn't even make any sense.
If you can't go out for a couple of hours without worrying about all the shit that's going on in your life, than you probably shouldn't be going out in the first place.

No? It makes no sense you to at all, that if I'm at work for example, and I go to the Mess for lunch and a beer or two on my break, that I worry about returning to duty a) on time b) not intoxicated?

It makes no sense at all to you that if I have an exam in the morning, and I go out with my friends the night before, that I worry about not showing up hung over, and worry about not winding up too far away to make it to my exam on time?

Really?
 

Really.

If, on your lunch break from work, you go to the mess for lunch and a beer or two and you are worried that you are going to a) return late or b) return intoxicated: then maybe you should just have soda and save the beer for after hours.

If you have a fucking exam and you are worried that you might show up hungover or not show up at all if you go out drinking the night before, then you should take the 'responsible' route (I think that's your words from the first post, right- being responsible?) and not go out. And maybe go out the next night and celebrate for taking your exam.

Ever since I made a comment that said fat people disgust me- you've been following me around and quoting what I say and arguing a point against it. I'm entitled to my own opinion- if you don't like it, too bad. I'm not apologizing for it.
 
No, I'll go to the mess for lunch and a beer or two. I'll just ensure that it stays to being a beer or two, and that I return on time. I mean, even if I went for only soda and lunch, I'd still have to ensure I return on time, and not say, get distracted with my laptop on bluelight, right? Is that is so hard to do? Is it unreasonable that one give their S/O the kind of courtesy?

I'll go out the night before an exam, it's no big deal. Again, I'll just not get wanged off my face, and I won't get on a bus to Saskatoon. Not that hard to do, now is it?

No, I don't even remember that comment. Probably because it's only one of the many stupid things you say. Honestly, that's not even that bad compared to a lot of your other posts. I'm entitled to my own opinion too, and so long as I don't break the rules, I can disagree with yours all I want.
 
^ That's something I think is missing from the conversation. The person going out should respect his/her significant other. Maybe it's just the rebel in me, but if I was going out with friends and some dude said "Be home at 9" like a command, I'd have a serious "fuck off" attitude. But if he said "Hey, I worry when you're out drinking and I wanted to cuddle at 9," I'd totally be back by 9. lol
 
But in the OP's case, he asked for less time, and in any event, did agree to be back at 9. So, out basic respect to her (The same you would have to your employer, professor, or physician) he should be have ensured he was back at 9, barring circumstances beyond his control.
 
But in the OP's case, he asked for less time, and in any event, did agree to be back at 9. So, out basic respect to her (The same you would have to your employer, professor, or physician) he should be have ensured he was back at 9, barring circumstances beyond his control.

Yeah, I agree. He shouldn't have agreed with it. Should have just flat out told her "No," because I probably would have been worried too.
 
Yeah, I agree. He shouldn't have agreed with it. Should have just flat out told her "No," because I probably would have been worried too.

Yes, this. He is the one who said he would go for an hour and a half, not me. I put no time limit on it at all, he is the one who insisted he would be back. That was part of my problem. Seriously, I would have respected him WAY more if he had said, "I am going out and having some fun. I am not sure when I will be home but I will be careful". That I could have dealt with. As it was, he put himself in a position to break his word.

Edited to say.... I did say to be home by nine, but that was only after him insisting he would be only an hour and a half. I knew that was too unreasonable, so I told him to take two and a half hours instead. In hindsight I should have just said "go have fun" but whatever
 
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I've had similar problems in the past and at least our problem was that she usually didn't have her own plans and was home alone, just waiting for me. And of course then you are going to be easily angry, because time that other one is late feels like ages for the one at home and like few minutes for who is out having fun. And also because many times one who stays at home is kind of jealous/envious about other one having fun - and with other people than you.

Usually (if relationship is good) I think there shouldn't be any time you need to be home or too much need to plan ahead. Many times you might have really good time and want to stay later without worrying that someone is going to be mad at you, it feels really bad since you don't mean to do any harm to anybody.
 
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