Can I be a functioning drug user?

[therudebob]

Been reading bluelight for tips and advice for a few years now - often daily. I'm now 34 with two young children and a new wife and all is good. I started with cannabis when I was about 14 and gradually started doing ecstasy, mushrooms, speed, acid etc. during my late teens early 20s. This has been occasional use and started using coke a little bit more and more often. At the moment I'll use coke with (quite a lot of) alcohol when having a big night. For the last year I have smoked heroin on and off. The wds have varied from fine to mildly unpleasant (no sleep and very restless at night and the shits). I have a fairly good knowledge of what pharms to take so I can sleep etc. The trouble I find is that as soon as I'm out of the woods I think "I feel great, I might get some heroin!" It's a bit expensive to be doing all the time and I'm worried that my occasional habit could escalate, but at the moment (and for the last year) I've been able to function fairly normally. Am I kidding myself? Any input greatly appreciated.

 

[HeadHigh]

I have never done heroin, but i have indulged myself in all kinds of different opioids and opiates over the years, and i have found that it almost always leads to higher and higher levels of ingestion no matter how much self control i have. I have at this point in my life, cut off anyone who ever has access to opiates of any sort and i still use kratom every day.

My personal opinion is that, yes, you are kidding yourself. It is very difficult to function well when using drugs recreationally ON A REGULAR BASIS. If you have the ability to keep this habit to a very strict schedule, with weeks in between usage, i would say that you should be able to be functional no problem, but i have never met someone that can stick to any kind of schedule.

 

[therudebob]

Yeah, I guess I knew that deep down, but sometimes u need to hear it from someone else. I suppose it's good that I'm not too far in and it's still relatively easy to stop when I want to. The only trouble will be resisting the urge once I feel like I'm on top of it. Do u find kratom something reasonable to use every day or is it something u want to stop? I've done it once and the feeling was quite mild and it was quite expensive. Maybe it would be a good buffer towards opiate abstinence.

 

[Lovinlories]

I myself have never used heroin but I have taken pain pills. My tolerance is now up to 5 or 6 10mg at once to feel anything. Heroin is an awful drug to get hooked on. A friend of my bfs is an IV user & has been for a while & he looks like he has aged dramatically. He cannot even function without it. So I would try to avoid it at all costs.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Hiya theruderob - like the ID - Welcome to Bluelight

Your question is kind of difficult to answer. There are quite a lot of casual drug users on this site who use sensibly and haven't ever had addiction issues or issues as a consequence of substance (ab)use.

From a Harm Reduction (HR) point substances such as Heroin, alcohol and stimulant can be addicted. Heroin and alcohol contain both physical and psychological addiction where physical WD can be experienced at cessation. Stimulants the addiction/withdrawal is psychological.

You're probably aware of all that but as a member, when someone asks, it's best to mention it.

With that it depends on your personality, in my opinion. A lot of people differ on this viewpoint. If you are the sort of person who gets easily attached / obsessed / addicted to things, or have a family history of addiction then be wary and use with caution.

I can't really advise re expense as I feel patronising is saying "just stop using until you can afford it"

These threads may help you
Basic Drug Discussion
[URL="http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/58-Other-Drugs"] Other Drugs

Take Care,

Evey

 

[RedLeader]

Is it possible to use heroin on some type of schedule that avoids physical addiction (one per week, twice per week, every other weekend, etc)? Yes, but most people ultimately fail.

Is it possible to use heroin on such a schedule without thinking about it every single day regardless of whether you've done it that day? Absolutely not. On heroin days you'll think about heroin and on non-heroin days you'll think about not having heroin. You won't really feel alive during the non-using days, as you're just counting down to the next using day. Time flies by just as if you were using everyday, since so much of your life is spent waiting and trying to pass time. That's just what the drug does to you.

The concern is that eventually you will rethink things and ultimately decide that using every single day will be easier than once a week, as you won't have to deal with the psychological misery that is having so many non-using days each week. If you do start using daily, to achieve any kind of long-term success, you need to have a couple of things going for you. You've got to be making a lot of money, you need a connect that does not really put you in any legal danger at all, you need consistent product that will not lead to you getting sick from too little or ODing from too much.

And then even if you get these things and are smooth-sailing for years at a time, one day something will happen and you'll only have two out of three. Yet it will be fifteen hours since your last dose and you'll be yawning and sneezing and willing to do anything to make the pain stop...All downhill from there.

So it's really like anything else in life with really low success rates. Do you want to risk everything to make it big? Or should you reconsider and take a more conservative approach to life? If you have a family, I think the choice becomes a no-brainer...

 

[Eveleivibe]

Is it possible to use heroin on some type of schedule that avoids physical addiction (one per week, twice per week, every other weekend, etc)? Yes, but most people ultimately fail.

Is it possible to use heroin on such a schedule without thinking about it every single day regardless of whether you've done it that day? Absolutely not. On heroin days you'll think about heroin and on non-heroin days you'll think about not having heroin. You won't really feel alive during the non-using days, as you're just counting down to the next using day. Time flies by just as if you were using everyday, since so much of your life is spent waiting and trying to pass time. That's just what the drug does to you.

The concern is that eventually you will rethink things and ultimately decide that using every single day will be easier than once a week, as you won't have to deal with the psychological misery that is having so many non-using days each week. If you do start using daily, to achieve any kind of long-term success, you need to have a couple of things going for you. You've got to be making a lot of money, you need a connect that does not really put you in any legal danger at all, you need consistent product that will not lead to you getting sick from too little or ODing from too much.

And then even if you get these things and are smooth-sailing for years at a time, one day something will happen and you'll only have two out of three. Yet it will be fifteen hours since your last dose and you'll be yawning and sneezing and willing to do anything to make the pain stop...All downhill from there.

So it's really like anything else in life with really low success rates. Do you want to risk everything to make it big? Or should you reconsider and take a more conservative approach to life? If you have a family, I think the choice becomes a no-brainer...

WOW you're a blast from the past. I'd listen to RedLeader he's very experienced and intelligent user as well as friendly.

A quite point to note is that opiates minic the human natural opiates. We've hormones which control our pain, which help us feel good when we do things such as exercise, laugh, eat chocolate and so on (endorphin release). As well as the fact that opiates have us feel euphoric, these article chemicals, when put into the body to regularly, trick the body's "natural opiate" into thinking it's not needed - this is why we experience withdrawal symptoms on opiate-cessation.

Evey

 

[therudebob]

Thanks to everyone who's contributed there - they certainly sound like wise words, hopefully echoing the voice of my more rational side.

I certainly recognise your point about the non-heroin days, RedLeader, it definitely gets into your brain and you think about it a LOT. I get good, reliable product, but perhaps a saving grace is that I get it by post/mail rather than having a local connection. This means i can't get it whenever I want, and probably couldn't if I tried - not without letting everyone I know what I was doing. Definitely a plus for quitting, rather than having to break local connections and avoid people.

As we speak, there's a small 0.3 winging its way to me (last time I used was four or five days ago) so I might make this the last one. Watch this space. Man, I wish I could still smoke weed - it would certainly fill a void, at least for a while (I used to smoke a lot as a teenager but now get soul-crushing paranoia from even the slightest use).

I've been reading this site for a long time, but only posted now. Again, I'm very grateful for the responses and support. I'm sure it's been a great help to plenty of people.

I'll be back!

 

[HeadHigh]

Also, sorry im a little late replying but kratom to me, although very functional and worthy of adding to a daily routine, is something i personally would like to stop. I have tapered down very easily before, and am in the process of doing so again. It just goes to show that even with something as benign as kratom, theres always a cycle of abuse and wanting to stop.

Also, kratom online is much cheaper than in a headshop, and usually of better quality too.