Can Anybody relate to this?

[kfkelly31]

I've been self medicating with stimulant meds and opioids for so long now I'm beginning to lose all hope of ever returning to a normal state of functioning. My daily intake of adderall ritalin and vyvanse has reached levels I never thought possible.
It seems like taking 20-30 grams of kratom daily increases the amount of stimulants i need to achieve any kind of desired effect. Im basically spending over $2,000 a month to feel, well...pretty normal. I shudder to think how much I am destroying my health.
I'm very concerned about the long term effects and potential brain damage of the drugs I abuse (stimulants and kratom at this point in my life). Im considering taking Zoloft as I was just prescribed it, but need to kick kratom first (quit date in 5 days).
I want to get back on track so I can be around for my 1 year old daughter and live a healthy balanced life, i just don't know where to even begin. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated

 

[samadhitrance21]

Take it easy man, dont stress your mind over it. Think it through and make some small commitments regarding more control over your habit. I can give you a tip that you shouldn't redose amphetamines the same day you had your first dose as it will kick your pulse and blood pressure out of balance. If you need it everyday then take one dose each day. Try to use kratom at night with a movie or something rather than just getting a hit for the sake of getting a hit. Structure it a bit.

 

[kfkelly31]

Thanks man...i really appreciate the response. Just to clarify when you say don't redose do you mean don't mix different kinds of stims in one day, or don't take any dose more than once in a day. And you are definitely correct, my blood pressure/pulse is all over the place.

 

[shardnanigans]

Totally relate, not on perscription but with crystal. Have been on again off again for years my latest off was four years. And for some reason I'm on again. I don't have any advice but to not stress. I've found that it only makes things worse. Myself I've been back to smoking for about seven months. And I sleep and eat and work like normal but its getting increasingly more expensive and I kinda wanna be off for good but that scares the tar out of me.

 

[Lama]

Yeah I can relate... I'm on H and it became very expensive just to be 'normal".. And I am afraid of the withdrawal... And I'm tired of it, I feel dumb that I was clean and just jumped back in after 10 years...
Hang in there,