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can anybody offer any help?

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Londonscouser

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Joined
Aug 26, 2015
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Hi there, before you read my story I feel i should state that i am in no way against the use of weed, but the negative symptoms i endure are because i abused it heavily for years.

I started when i was 15-16, and now i am 21 years of age, although i didn't start smoking daily till i was 17, aprroximately 1-2 grams of high-THC strains. Through-out this time i also endured maybe 1-2 panic attacks a year, and i have never had a panic attack while sober.

Before i started smoking weed, i was very sociable, it felt like everybody wanted to know me, i had so much fun with my friends, and ultimately i was a very happy person.
Fast forward to 2015 and my social skills have declined as i have developed social anxiety, loss of personality, loss of sense of humour.

However this is the LEAST of my worries. My biggest worry is that i will never be able to FEEL again. The other day i had a urge to cry, however i can't physically cry. I can't laugh. I can't feel happiness but i can feel slight sadness but not much. I am emotionless/emotionally numb.

My guess is that i have messed up my serotenergic system or endocannibinoid system.

I have read about depersonalization/derealization but i'm pretty confident i haven't experienced 95% of those symptoms...only the emotionless

I think it would be wise to state that i have never used a different illegal drug apart from cannabis. Also i have never been on any sort of medication ( so ive never taken a antidepressant yet). It is also worth noting that these symptoms such as emotionless, social anxiety developed as i abused weed and are not withdrawal symptoms even though i have quit for approximately 5 weeks.

Well thats my story. Thanks for reading it...if anybody has any questions, i would love to answer them. If anybody has any previous experiences that can relate to my post, it would really help me....Some of these days im starting to get slight suicidal thoughts, but yeh i won't give up hope just yet, ive started to eat healthy, joined a gym, and take vitamine B, magnesium, zinc, fish oil ect
 
Man lots of people develop problems from abusing weed after a while. It's not really acknowledged as much as it should be. I never even knew habitual smokers existed when I first started smoking weed, or that it was common for people to start getting anxious after a while. If I had known that, I might have watched my usage a little more. Your issues might be multi-faceted but one of the best things you can do for yourself is to never go anywhere near weed again. It's just not for you anymore (it was probably great at first, right?), and there's nothing wrong with that. It can be hard to accept at first, that you just can't handle it anymore, and people tend to go on smoking despite the side effects that progress. This is an ego response. It's also a minority of people who begin to question their use of cannabis to begin with, since side effects and addiction are pretty rare with weed. Don't be confused if people tell you it's harmless, which is the widely proclaimed general consensus. You know yourself best. Listen to your body, read what you just wrote.

I take two varieties of fish oil twice a day, one high in DHA and one high in EPA, as well as a liquid vitamin B supplement and everything organic. I need to get me some magnesium. Yoga too, any kind of exercise. Creative outlets. You know, all that good healthy stuff. I personally believe psychedelics can have therapeutic potential, and I continue to trip out once a month. If I smoke the tiniest puff of weed though, I endure a horrific panic attack. It used to chill me out. Go figure.

I wouldn't try to over-analyze it. There's nothing you can do about the past. Be true to yourself. I think you know what to do. Just try not to dwell on it.
 
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Interesting.

So you are saying that your physical marijuana withdrawals were worse then your physical heroin withdrawals? That is kind of hard to fathom. I have never known or heard of anyone struggling with marijuana withdrawal to the extent you describe, but there is a first time for everything I suppose.

I wouldn't assume just because it has affected you this way that it will happen for everyone like that. You claim cannabis "caused" negative changes to my (and fellow cannabis users) brains. This is simply not true.

I guess you should stay away from cannabis. It is definitely not for everyone.
 
Yeah, my experience with weed was garbage. And yeah it was way harder for me to quit heroin than weed - but I was using much less heroin than I was burning hash oil (I assure you I was way higher off the pot), and it was a 10 year habit vs a 1 year habit. It's not really comparable but I do admit it was much tougher physically and mentally with weed. Obviously if I had continued with the H I wouldn't be saying that. I had the sense to stop before it was too late and it was a super close call. It happened really fast too. All my buddies blaze though for the most part and I have nothing against it. You'll see me in the psychedelic forum more, since I haven't burned in years but I continue to trip out. But occasionally when I see people writing about their troubles which they think might be related to weed, I'll write since I've been there. Primarily to attempt to provide some support and encouragement to the OP. I acknowledge cannabis has therapeutic value as well, I used it for chronic pain.

(I edited out most of the addiction point, as the OP does not seem to have that issue)
 
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ShroomySatori said:
Yeah, my experience with weed was garbage. And yeah it was way harder for me to quit heroin than weed - but I was using much less heroin than I was burning hash oil (I assure you I was way higher off the pot), and it was a 10 year habit vs a 1 year habit. It's not really comparable but I do admit it was much tougher physically and mentally with weed. Obviously if I had continued with the H I wouldn't be saying that. I had the sense to stop before it was too late and it was a super close call. It happened really fast too. All my buddies blaze though for the most part and I have nothing against it. You'll see me in the psychedelic forum more, since I haven't burned in years but I continue to trip out. But occasionally when I see people writing about their troubles which they think might be related to weed, I'll write since I've been there. Primarily to attempt to provide some support and encouragement to the OP. I acknowledge cannabis has therapeutic value as well, I used it for chronic pain.

(I edited out most of the addiction point, as the OP does not seem to have that issue)
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Thanks for providing some input man ! Support is always appreciated.

I can't help but notice that much of the way i feel has similarities with people that are recovering from MDMA abuse...weird ey...

Anyways, hopefully 1 day somebody who has been through this or similiar to this will contact me or leave a post !
 
anyone out there that can help me understand why i lost my emotions WHILE i was a everyday 24/7 stoner ?

Its not a withdrawal symptom, and so far its been a little over 6 weeks since i last toked up.

Anybody been through something similar ?
 
How do you know it's the weed? Maybe you need to change something else in your life.
 
Londonscouser said:
Before i started smoking weed, i was very sociable, it felt like everybody wanted to know me, i had so much fun with my friends, and ultimately i was a very happy person.
Fast forward to 2015 and my social skills have declined as i have developed social anxiety, loss of personality, loss of sense of humour.
Click to expand...

How much social contact (i.e. not business-related) do you have? ~15-20 are critical years for personal development so if you don't have people you are close enough with to really open up to it can lead to feeling a bit crazy and numb.

The herb does tend to muddle up the mentals a bit but it doesn't sound like you're experiencing any of the extreme side-effects so it could be that how you're feeling about problems aren't based on the herb but just compounded by abusing it (e.g. social anxiety).

Anyway, welcome to BL :)
 
Vitamins and Minerals ALL of them from zinc and copper to vitamin c and vitamin d and magnesiuma and Vitamin K 120MCG a day is lal needed for bones and shit. All Drugs especially weed and Opiates/Opioids SUCK the VITAMINS AND MINERALS RIGHT FROM your body hence people have bad teeth from lack of calcium and vitamin D on Opis And Weed is Not as bad when it comes to say Methadone but both in cominbation like me is the worse except it counteracts the Munchies a.k.a. faster metabolism caused by Smoking Cannabis Buds.
 
I struggled with social anxiety a lot in my middle - late teens, and I can't say for sure or not it was caused by smoking weed but I know what you're going through. I've been smoking since my early teenage years and my whole life and I've constantly wondered what really caused me to turn that way since I was such a social kid and had so many friends early on and was constantly outside and fucking around with friends. It really was a dramatic turn when I entered high school and my first 2 years of college. I was constantly inside playing nerdy computer games with friends I met online and had good social relationships with them, but as far as going out and meeting people like you're supposed to do in high school and college I didn't. Friends would call me, I wouldn't pick up or respond to texts until way later at night and pretended I was busy with something else which wasn't true at all. I didn't even have a serious girlfriend until i was 22, the last time I kissed a girl before that I was 14... I felt like a complete loser.

I also did use a lot of dumb drugs from when I was a sophomore in high school till my freshman / sophomore year of college. I always blamed everything on LSD, I had one bad trip that really fucked me up for awhile and I felt like I was never going to be normal again. I also abused the shit out of it and never used it for the right reason. We'd trip every other weekend just to have fun and get the recreational effects which is pretty horrible for your mind.

Was it actually caused by LSD? Still not sure. Could it could of been from smoking weed? Most definitely but I'll never know. Getting off benzos was the best thing I've ever done and getting CBT helped me tremendously.

We all go through shit man, and if you stuck and really try to do whatever you can to make it better IT WILL GET BETTER. Change needs to happen to change. Do whatever you can to get out in the world and accept that it's going to be extremely uncomfortable. You'll be glad you went out and tried it even if it wasn't an enjoyable experience, I promise. It's one step at a time. Sooner or later you won't give a fuck what anyone thinks. There's nothing to be embarrassed about we're all human and we all fuck up it's in our nature. Accept it.
 
probaly just an anxiety attack nothing to worry about until it becomes routine and then just get a script for a low dose PRN benzodiazepine
 
thujone said:
How much social contact (i.e. not business-related) do you have? ~15-20 are critical years for personal development so if you don't have people you are close enough with to really open up to it can lead to feeling a bit crazy and numb.

The herb does tend to muddle up the mentals a bit but it doesn't sound like you're experiencing any of the extreme side-effects so it could be that how you're feeling about problems aren't based on the herb but just compounded by abusing it (e.g. social anxiety).

Anyway, welcome to BL :)
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Well, in terms of social contact, i was smoking with a variety of friends at least 3-4 times a week, however i would also smoke a lot by myself as well for the last few years

I did experience some crazy withdrawals when i quit...insomnia(few weeks), loss of appetite, woke up drenched in sweat, hot and cold flushes ect but i don't think i am currently experiencing any withdrawals anymore

And thanks for the welcome :D
 
yeah toking alone tends to amplify feelings of self doubt, i guess if your social anxiety symptom went away after detoxing then that was an herb-related issue though i'm not sure the emotionlessness would necessarily be that if it still persists. typically when normal people get the lack of empathy that's considered sociopathic behaviour, it's because they are not experiencing the amount of social contact suited for their personality. it doesn't seem to be as simple as too much or too little but more of a goldilocks effect where there's just the right amount of social contact by individual personality type and anything less or more has negative psychological effects.
 
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