Need Help Can’t sleep, really starting to piss me off

[Sleaze]

seems to be more common for me these days than ever, where i find myself lying in bed for sometimes hours before i get to sleep.

lying here, mind racing, thinking about unimportant stuff... at the same time i do feel as if there’s a lot of stuff on my mind in general. sometimes i’ll just keep thinking about something that doesn’t even really matter..other times i’ll be thinking about work, or life in general etc..

right now i’m getting frustrated, which only hypes me up and puts me further away from getting to sleep.

i have sleep aids at my disposal. stilnox, xanax, and some other benzo for sleep, but i never take any of them more than once a week. i don’t want to rely on them for good sleep, i should be able to sleep fine on my own.

i think a lot of its work related too.. stresses that i’m not dealing with maybe?

i think it’s psychological, because come friday and saturday nights, i seem to get to sleep much easier. i don’t work weekends, so i’m not having to wake up the next day for work. this seems to play a big role in how easy i get to sleep.

during the days i feel as though i’m holding a grudge at the world too, like i’m walking around with a chip on my shoulder... pissed off in general. can’t be bothered with anyone, even close friends. not to mention my own mother who’s going through weekly chemotherapy treatment, it feels like such a chore to go and see her or even call her. one day i’m going to look back and regret not making more of an effort... but even knowing that, it still isn’t enough for me to do something about it. feels like it requires so much energy, energy i don’t have... i’d rather sit and watch some bs tv show or play video games on my own.

i think i need to work on my mental health, but where do i start?

it’s getting harder and harder dealing with things by not actually dealing with them. i try to be strong and just continue on, but i think the fact i’m constantly lying here tired as fuck, yet unable to sleep, tells me it’s time i do something different. maybe even some help, in one form or another ...

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i just re-read what i wrote above. my mind’s all over the shop. jumping from one thought to another... before you ask, no i’m not on any drugs. i’m just high on mental chatter and the speed of my racing mind.

in fact, i just remembered it’s bin night. but i actually already feel a little better from writing all this shit out.. apologies for rambling, but know i appreciate the fact you took the time to read it, and i’m about to sleep better for it. thank you.

 

[NickyTricks]

Try meditation or reading a book before bed. Don’t go on your phone or watch tv before you go to bed it fucks up your sleep.

 

[Jabberwocky]

i've been like this a lot since january. are you under continued lockdown? where i am we have basically been locked down for a year now and i think the lack of activity is really fucking with a lot of people.

totally get the thing about sleeping better when there is no pressure. what are your work like? i once told my boss outright i was having problems with insomnia and asked if i could just start late on those days, to take the pressure off. after that i noticed a massive improvement.

you are right not wanting to take too many sleep aids, they will only make things worse in the long term.

do you get any time to yourself during the day? like just to think things through and whatnot, so that your brain has another time to do it that isn't when you're trying to sleep?

lack of sleep massively wrecks your mental health, which in turn wrecks your sleep, its a vicious cycle. having genuine stress, like your mum being ill, will be adding to it. if you are doing your best, you won't look back with regret. do prioritise yourself first, if taking a day off calling her will help you be more supportive next time you do call her, then its best for both of you. you don't want to burn out.

 

[ControlDaddy]

Okay so this is so normal. Still, easy to worry about. Learning a form of mediation doesn't mean unlocking the mysteries of the universe, or being in touch with your qi, so much as it is about what I was taught to call "cutting thought". Interrupting intrusive, reoccurring, unresolvable dialogs at play in my own head. In fact, sitting and breathing might be a difficult meditation to learn at first, and the worst at cutting thought. With moving mediations, such as swimming, long distance running, Tai Chi, ballet, etc., the thought process is naturally interrupted by your focus on movement and balance and posture, and cutting thought becomes a valuable side effect of exercise, which will come up again in a minute.

i have sleep aids at my disposal. stilnox, xanax, and some other benzo for sleep, but i never take any of them more than once a week. i don’t want to rely on them for good sleep, i should be able to sleep fine on my own.

I think you have the right idea. I am not trying to nitpick you, but personally I really avoid internal dialog that begins with "I should...". It sounds like I am failing at something. Actually I am having a common problem, I don't want to start a cycle of thoughts in my head about how bad it might be that I am having a common problem. This lets me focus on finding solutions.

i think it’s psychological, because come friday and saturday nights, i seem to get to sleep much easier.

Given your whole post, it seems pretty safe to assume that your work is a major factor in your specific sleep problem.

i think i need to work on my mental health, but where do i start?

Maybe it is as simple as that. Work is maybe coming first? If work seemed to be the thing starting the intrusive thinking that is keeping me up, I would try replacing the subject of work with positive self talk. For example, "I really am getting better at basketball, since I started doing it twice a week. I can't even remember the last time I missed a layup!" Positive thoughts are the opposite of intrusive ones. Instead of repeating, they spawn complementary positive thoughts, which will not alarm your subconscious. All this means you are on the right track to drift off... into dreams...

i think the lack of activity is really fucking with a lot of people

Yeah baby. This is at the heart of my latest sleep issues (I meant when I wasn't using a powerful stimulant like an idiot), and its gotta be a factor for people who are getting less exercise than normal. Since becoming aware of the relationship between exercise and sleep (or lack of exercise and a corresponding lack of sleep, if you prefer), I have found even a small effort could make a big difference.

The first time I thought to do something about it, it was late at night. I simply laid down next the the bed, did forty or so crunches, flipped over and did as many pushups as I could, then stood up and counted twenty body weight squats. It took less than five minutes, and I glistened just a little on my forehead, breaking the tiniest sweat. I got into bed and that is all I can report. I had cut thought, burned up some nervous energy, and fell fast asleep. It may not work on your first try like that, my point is that it doesn't have to be an ordeal either.

do prioritise yourself first, if taking a day off calling her will help you be more supportive next time you do call her, then its best for both of you. you don't want to burn out.

I hear this all the time in every mental health circle. There are a million links about it, but as this is an HR and drugs forum, so I chose the one from SMART Recovery.
Oxygen Mask First Rule

Sweet dreams @Sleaze - CD