Hi guys,
I am a long term lurker (for years actually), but this is my first post. As the title already says I am scared to try psychedelics again. The last time I tripped was 8 years ago (when I was twenty) and up to this time I have tripped about 10 times (all on shrooms). Since then I just could not bring myself to do it again (postponing it for month/years). Now the funny/shitty thing: I´ve been reading about psychs for over ten years now and I know a shitload about them. Besides travelling exotic places psychedelics are the single most interesting thing in life for me. I spent hundreds of hours reading about them and have even grown a lot of shrooms for myself. I even bought some AL-LAD, because I heard about it´s awesomeness, but like the shrooms it is still sitting in the fridge since a long, long time. I just can´t understand how something which interests me so much and I am longing every day to experience again still makes so nervous about it that I always find excuses to "postpone" it. I just can´t bring myself to do it despite having had amazing and life changig trips in the past. But I am quite an anxious person and the come-ups were always really bad for me until I peaked. Weed gives me lots of anxiety, too, and I had literally hundreds of panic reactions while on it, but I still smoke that stuff almost every day. When the weed panic arises (happens sometimes) I am always able to handle myself without freaking out. It feels like hell (or worse sometimes), but usually nobody else would even notice that things are going down for me. Somehow I just don´t trust myself beeing able to handle psychs (despite my good experiences). At the first signs of a trip arriving I get very nervous and I really struggle to just give in and let it take me. Giving up control really scares me and I start having bad thoughts about all the perception changes despite these changes beeing exactely what you want out of a psychedelic experience :/
I guess this all sounds really pathetic and I am kind of embarassed to post this here instead of just taking up my courage and taking the dive...
Has anyone else here experienced something similar? Any tips?
I would really appreciate any suggestions, because I am constantly having the feeling of missing out on a beautiful thing in life
PS: Sorry for bad English, it´s not my first language.
I am a long term lurker (for years actually), but this is my first post. As the title already says I am scared to try psychedelics again. The last time I tripped was 8 years ago (when I was twenty) and up to this time I have tripped about 10 times (all on shrooms). Since then I just could not bring myself to do it again (postponing it for month/years). Now the funny/shitty thing: I´ve been reading about psychs for over ten years now and I know a shitload about them. Besides travelling exotic places psychedelics are the single most interesting thing in life for me. I spent hundreds of hours reading about them and have even grown a lot of shrooms for myself. I even bought some AL-LAD, because I heard about it´s awesomeness, but like the shrooms it is still sitting in the fridge since a long, long time. I just can´t understand how something which interests me so much and I am longing every day to experience again still makes so nervous about it that I always find excuses to "postpone" it. I just can´t bring myself to do it despite having had amazing and life changig trips in the past. But I am quite an anxious person and the come-ups were always really bad for me until I peaked. Weed gives me lots of anxiety, too, and I had literally hundreds of panic reactions while on it, but I still smoke that stuff almost every day. When the weed panic arises (happens sometimes) I am always able to handle myself without freaking out. It feels like hell (or worse sometimes), but usually nobody else would even notice that things are going down for me. Somehow I just don´t trust myself beeing able to handle psychs (despite my good experiences). At the first signs of a trip arriving I get very nervous and I really struggle to just give in and let it take me. Giving up control really scares me and I start having bad thoughts about all the perception changes despite these changes beeing exactely what you want out of a psychedelic experience :/
I guess this all sounds really pathetic and I am kind of embarassed to post this here instead of just taking up my courage and taking the dive...
Has anyone else here experienced something similar? Any tips?
I would really appreciate any suggestions, because I am constantly having the feeling of missing out on a beautiful thing in life
PS: Sorry for bad English, it´s not my first language.
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