Calling all experienced Xanax users

[sid3]

Benzo therapy is intended for a very short period of time due to the quickness that dependence occurs. For an addict, it is the very worst thing you could do to yourself. Benzo wd is no joke. In fact I'd rather wd from herion,crack and meth all at once than go through benzo wd. I've been taking ativan for five years, I've tried to taper it many times. Only recently have I found a Dr that knows what it's all about. Most are clueless to what benzo wd is really like.

 

[Cane2theLeft]

Have the rest of you found that benzo therapy has been helpful in the long run, after pros & cons, gains & losses have been weighed out?

I'm with Sid, long term benzo use often (if not usually) produces more harm then good through the physical dependency and exacerbation of the original indication (generally anxiety).

 

[Violenza666]

Violenza. I check this post frequently because it is my main thought occupation right now.

You are clearly still very angry. What with the emotional posting & cursing.

Please repeating yourself over and over. Did you ever pick up a book? Take an internet break k thx

Seriously thanks for your input. A little rough around the edges, but it is what it is. You are right on it when you say that I have no right to breastfeed. It is a matter of RIGHTS. And I am weaning. For those of you that can't read lol.

As a mother I am angry for your child. I feel sorry for her. You are an unfit mother. You should be angry but instead you're taking methadone and everything else under the sun and exposing your child to it.

Benzo therapy is intended to be short term. I am on long term, it works great for anxiety and panic attacks. I just came off Xanax recently. I switched to Valium.

 

[swmo]

The NORMAL ADDICT ME was getting together all the evidence all morning, for the reason I need an alprazolam refill. I'm talking, I've already compulsively visited the same Walk-In today in hopes of refill. Due to law he couldn't, so I have a script for Hydroxyzine hcl. I haven't dropped it off, and I should probably shred it huh? That one is similarly warned against using while nursing. I got 7 mg Alprazolam ER 1 week ago today. So I was going for a refill, since I'm "back on" it thanks to that Walk-In Doc. So the medical system "owed" me a refill THIS MORNING. Even though I've been out for 4 days! I don't plan these things. I had "no clue" this would happen. At least I play stupid.. again this is why I'm here (TDS) ... I'm stopping myself from these addictions slowly. User_name is incorrect in that I'm reluctant to give up xanax & breastfeeding. Not true and my actions are actually SHOWING that... I'm thrilled..

this whole post...omg...we can't see what your actions are SHOWING, but from what we read, 1 week ago, you got a script and are looking for your "owed" refill. since you're back on thanks to that Walk-In Doc omfg! your words show an amazing amount of denial to yourself about your situation. all of your posts put together would make an excellent read for any student of addiction.
i am far from well. but i have to say, you and your child have many more problems in store besides drugs and breast milk. i have no idea what you're thrilled about. as i see it and i could be wrong, your ACTIONS are showing the same behavior. you need professional help...intensive, lengthy, constant supervision.
please don't reply to this with more excuses. i almost lol when i read you nearly outright blaming that walk-in doc.

 

[Cohesion]

Weaning is going GREAT

She could try and backlash because I've been pushing her way.too.fast but I have no choice. The pain from mommy refusing you CANNOT be more than the pain from unknown chemicals in her little body

 

[pacoperu]

wow....very impactful discussion

 

[Violenza666]

Weaning is going GREAT

She could try and backlash because I've been pushing her way.too.fast but I have no choice. The pain from mommy refusing you CANNOT be more than the pain from unknown chemicals in her little body

She probably wants the "chemicals" in your milk more than she wants your milk. Weaning might be more difficult in your situation. Many of my friends breastfed and I know how hard it was on them to stop as it was important to them. Infact some of them cried when it came time to wean. It was just as important to them as it was their child. They weren't on drugs though. I never understood the emotional need to breastfeed as it just wasn't my thing. I had no intrest in it whatsoever so I went the other route, my daughter was formula fed and it was my choice and what I wanted. I kicked the nazi lactation nurse out of my hospital room.. crazy bitch kept grabbing at my tits, after I had requested she not visit my room period. I would not have done it any other way. Different strokes and all. I am not saying breastfeeding is wrong at all, it's just not for me, and in your situation, not for you either. Trust me there are way better ways to bond with your child.

Perhaps you should find some kind of treat you give her instead of nursing. Whether it be Candy or something... Just some kind of snack she really likes. There are even weaning tools, atleast for babies I am not so sure about toddlers cause I am sure by 18 months your daughter is off a bottle. Cut her off end of story. The first 3-7 days might be hellish but, it is for the best. As for you get therapy. Nobody owes you a script. Nobody needs benzo therapy for coming off of weed. You seriously need to get a clue. AA didn't work, NA didn't work, you might want to look into therapy or check into a rehab. You need to be focusing on raising your child not getting high. The next year is going to be the coolest year ever as far as the toddler years go, I would hate for you to miss it. It passes by so fast. They do new shit every day, learn new shit so fast and it's so cute it melts your heart. You might want to look at www.cafemom.com for some weaning tips. You seriously have no right to breastfeed.

 

[Cohesion]

She really likes that suck-to-sleep association, and never took to a paci. So she has yet to find other ways to self-soothe. To get her to sleep now, I let her nurse for LESS THAN 1 minute, sing "I love you" Barney song 2x so that she knows when we're "all done". And then she cries herself to sleep by flopping around and moving all around the room (we sleep on the floor level). Eventually she crashes next to me

I'm not a doctor so I'm not qualified to comment. But I have a hunch (based on when/how much I have fed her) that she is not physically requiring anything synthetic in my milk. I don't think she's dependent on anything because nothing has been CONSISTENT except the pot. But I'm not a Doc.

There's a few methods of weaning I really, really like and unfortunately I wasn't able to do it like I wanted I'm just doing what works for us in the moment. And she'll be FINE.

I can see I'm going to continue to avidly use "drugs" but THANKS TO TDS I'm actively weaning. And my right breast is FLAT right now! This is a long way from me milking myself over the sink 3 days ago, then having to jump in the shower and milk myself some more. Getting the whole bathroom soaked with sprayed breastmilk everywhere. . The power of BOOBIES!

Also as a part of weaning I'm taking her to a home day care provider daily 8-Noon (though also so I can do my homework/observations/Quickbooks). So it has been helpful to spend time apart, too.

Violenza as you mentioned, I am giving her treats to distract Like those little juice boxes or the ones with strawberry milk. Anything cool to DRINK. And she doesn't know what candy is yet :D hehe. I'm so strict with our diet - we eat VERY well rounded, home cooked meals - but it boggles your mind to think that I consider drugs as just another food group. I know it a million times over. I need to get more snacks and "tricks" to distract, it's true.

And thanks for the heads up the kiddos "next year" being the greatest. As it is, 18 months is.the.shit!! I should be drug-free and in my prime huh I need to get off drugs. But I have all these doctors ready to get me back on Benzo therapy (appt is day after tomorrow got it bumped up) and I don't know how to stop myself from getting back in with the docs

 

[Cohesion]

MY OTHER OPTION

is to move to my new town NOW (Grandma & Grandpa) are escorting me & the kid for a full day of apartment-hunting So if push comes to shove, I can be in a new place in less than 2 weeks. AND CONTINUE NURSING PRN throughout toddlerhood. MY personal ideal weaning process is that the child takes the last steps. Nursing is a DYAD relationship involving the needs AND wants of BOTH.

So maybe I can some INTELLECTUALIZING/REASONING to convince me to be on a REALLY-short term benzo therapy ... Instead of transferring to a NEW psych Dr. in my new town. Maybe at this intake I have tomorrow at the Psych Dr. we can come up with a taper plan for 2-3 weeks.

THOUGHTS?

I'm at such a crossroads

 

[Cohesion]

Xxx

 

[User Name Here]

I'm hoping you are just trolling... If not, lord help your child...

 

[Cohesion]

Haha, JK that was something I read around here that made me lol.

Update: My family doctor prescribed me...

.5 mg Clonazepam x 30 days.

At first sight I'm soo discounting that script. I have the ability AND the inclination to eat those 15 mg up QUICK, quick. But I think I'm actually going to try the 30 day taper. (With the POSSIBILITY of .25 for an extra week).

IMM, this SUCKS. In truth i like benzos to get high, MAYBE more than for its anti-anxiety effect. My evidence is that i abuse them and fiend, fiend, fiend.

Yeseterday: 2 mg xanax, 2 mg klonopin ( or something like that).

Today: 1 mg klonopin, 2 mg xanax, .5 klonopin, 1 mg xanax

(P.S. the xanax are illegally obtained & therefore inconsistent.)

Had a long discussion with my "partner" at 1am after I'd had a nap, a bowl, and a more clear, calm demeanor. Guess I went CRAZY today. I do all SORTS of unwarranted shit when I'm high on Xanax. So he gave me an intervention of sorts, and

I really think I'm gonna do the 30-day klonopin detox. .5 mg. 30 days.
To deal with:
-Stress of moving to a new town as a single mom
-Coming off 8.5 years of very outrageous weed addiction

Problems I foresee:
- a "bad day"
- a "weak moment"

HA. I put those in quotation marks because if i DO do that??? THAT's an excuse. THAT'S where the sober people are right that addicts make excuses. We don't all the time (it's way more complicated than that), but if I ever take more than .5mg it'll be an EXCUSE and a CHOICE and I should be chalked up as a FAIL.URE.

Because I have done this at least 3x before.

-move to a new town for school
-GONNA BE SOBER!

lolz all around.

I plan to pick up my Klonopin prescription the day I quit weed. There's no reason to overlap the 2. This means I've gotta move to my new town SOON. Like next week. I'm sure I'll sign a lease on Mon the 3rd maybe I'll move that very week :D

Am I treating this like a blog. Do tell. I don't think I am though because I am here to get all your bright and shining opinions, insights, and feedbacks. Thanks again. Hope you're all finding some solace in whatever you're doing tonight.

 

[sid3]

That's pathetic to joke about another person's herion habit. Show some class and respect for the other members that have their own problems. It wasn't funny,it was really lame. You seem to have enough on your own plate to deal with.

 

[Cohesion]

you're right. I guess I was feeling playful and thoughtless.

I have a cousin with Downs and I won't tolerate someone using the word Retarded.

It's mindless... so I apologize - FWIW

 

[sid3]

Yeah I type things without thinking first sometimes myself. I agree, I get upset when people make fun of those with handicaps, illness etc.
Addcition is a disease as well, at least by those who understand it for what it really is.

I won't get into the breast feeding debate, but as far as benzo wd I can relate. It's really tough. By all means necessary stay away from the xanax, use the clonopin the right way and get off the stuff. It's garbage, there is a valid reason to have this medicine available, but for an addict it's one of the worst things that can happen to them. The sooner you taper the smoother it will be.

 

[Violenza666]

That's pathetic to joke about another person's herion habit. Show some class and respect for the other members that have their own problems. It wasn't funny,it was really lame. You seem to have enough on your own plate to deal with.

No fucking shit. Atleast the heroin addicts on here aren't breastfeeding and posting about it nor do they need benzos for "weed addiction".. which seriously makes me LOL,... makes me think of half baked..

Somebody BOOO this bitch.

 

[User Name Here]

No fucking shit. Atleast the heroin addicts on here aren't breastfeeding and posting about it nor do they need benzos for "weed addiction".. which seriously makes me LOL,... makes me think of half baked..

Somebody BOOO this bitch.

8)

So I'm not an evil bitch for being what I consider, you know, logical?

If you're on drugs, you shouldn't be breastfeeding, even if you're weaning. It's as simple as that. I can't believe anyone would actually argue with this but hey, there are some uh, interesting people out there (I use "interesting" in place of words that would surely offend people here).

 

[bagochina]

How long have you been taking benzos daily for...?

Good luck, a long duration benzo habit is absolutely the worst thing in the world IMO, blows IV opiate addiction out of the water.

peace.
seedless

 

[semigenius]

**Edited to add: Do not respond to the Opening Post without reading the rest of (or at least the last page) of this thread. Thanks!


New here. I'm a forum junkie, but never stumbled upon this place.

In the past, I took Klonopin & Xanax recreationally. Once I got the prescriptions, I abused them. Bad. If I have a bottle, I.cannot.control myself. So I take them every day. Sometimes they have the intended effect & adequately control my anxiety so I can function. Other times something else happens (like falling asleep or eating too much).

It is 4:30 am (can't sleep) and I'm already planning the best time to take my dose.
I'm pleased to see that the general consensus for you experienced users is don't. dose. benzos. daily. And it's true. My mind knows this. Buuut... I'm a total addict..I feel like I'm back "in" with the doctors with really no reason to stop me. I got off the pills for 2 years while pregnant/nursing. I am still nursing, but she is 18 months so I am not worried about the small amount of drug she gets from my milk. But maybe I should be.

So when you read this thread, it seems that I use the xanax for everyday anxiety (and catch a buzz while at it), NOT panic. I asked for Xanax ER because I can't handle myself with a straight up xanax high. The ER puts me into a dreamy mode, and I need longer than a 2 hour window to get ahold of myself.

Almost every time I dose a large amount of benzo (1.5-2 mg), I have uncontrollable emotions (crying, depression) the next day. I'm posting here RN because

1. I need real-talk. Don't be nice to me. Tell me what you think of my situation based on YOUR experience - why not to get started on monthly scripts again.
2. Other thoughts on breastfeeding and drug use (marijuana + xanax).


Thanks, kiddos. Glad to be here.

1. You've got a problem. It's making you feel terrible, yet you keep wanting to do it. I was beginning to become the same way, but I got out soon enough. I took a lot of Xanax (3mg), and was suicidal the next day. I went through what you're going through, except a lot worse. I was very close to killing myself. If I had access to a gun at the time- I don't even want to think of the pain I would put my family through. It's a dangerous, dangerous drug. You're getting depressed from it. What happens when it escalates to suicidal thoughts?

2. I'm not an expert nor a doctor, but I believe it is dangerous. But, that's just hearsay.

 

[Violenza666]

8)

So I'm not an evil bitch for being what I consider, you know, logical?

If you're on drugs, you shouldn't be breastfeeding, even if you're weaning. It's as simple as that. I can't believe anyone would actually argue with this but hey, there are some uh, interesting people out there (I use "interesting" in place of words that would surely offend people here).

This post pissed me off so bad, I just celebrated my daughters 3rd birthday. I would never think of putting her through any of this shit. Life changes when you have kids. It's that simple. No getting high all the time, no getting drunk all the time.. everything is focused on your child. It's that simple... and yes it's logic. I didn't breastfeed so I didn't deal with this. but soon after I gave birth I was put on xanax and I would have never breastfed on it anyways. So I think she is being selfish. No, I don't think you're an evil bitch for being logical.