Mr. Sticky
Bluelighter
This was the circuit breaker of my soul protecting what I held dear. I was prepped, primed, and ready.
But the sudden drop of the catalyst froze me still...glaring and angry...and then nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing to grab onto, nothing to pound and pulverize, nothing to hold... Nothing.
Sadness is a slippery companion in a slow, shallow orbit around us, waiting to eclipse....
And still nothing. Nothing but the scent of dryer sheets and the taste of bile. And the fading scent of...
Change the channels one by one, over and over for no reason at all. Flip aimlessly through the channels of the recent past using those precious, precious cathode rays to dull the outside world.
Suddenly my hand stops when the picture is clearest and the remote falls to the floor.
(playful flirtation moments alone shared glances shared knowledge shared space shared thoughts shared loves shared caress of toes under the table)
Watching it all on TV. Why am I just watching it? no...No...NO!!!
Now the rivers flow in fits and starts like some twisted god tempting the desert. Never enough to quench the thirst, just enough to beg for more.
But this is what I wanted, right? The ends justify the means, right? But only when I control the means.
When did my eyes turn so gray?
But the sudden drop of the catalyst froze me still...glaring and angry...and then nothing. Nothing at all. Nothing to grab onto, nothing to pound and pulverize, nothing to hold... Nothing.
Sadness is a slippery companion in a slow, shallow orbit around us, waiting to eclipse....
And still nothing. Nothing but the scent of dryer sheets and the taste of bile. And the fading scent of...
Change the channels one by one, over and over for no reason at all. Flip aimlessly through the channels of the recent past using those precious, precious cathode rays to dull the outside world.
Suddenly my hand stops when the picture is clearest and the remote falls to the floor.
(playful flirtation moments alone shared glances shared knowledge shared space shared thoughts shared loves shared caress of toes under the table)
Watching it all on TV. Why am I just watching it? no...No...NO!!!
Now the rivers flow in fits and starts like some twisted god tempting the desert. Never enough to quench the thirst, just enough to beg for more.
But this is what I wanted, right? The ends justify the means, right? But only when I control the means.
When did my eyes turn so gray?