But It's February Now, Right??

Two weeks ago, when last we checked on our fearless heroine (YIKES! TRIGGER WORD!) our vagina bearing hero, she was a bloody, toothless wreck, facing the imminent loss of her children.

In what condition will we find her now? Have the kids been taken and has she started eating hair for entertainment value? Has Halsten pushed her last nerve and she Fried Green Tomatoed HIM instead? Or did she win the Lotto and died naked under a Magic Mike knock off crew with a pound of coke glued to her snotholes? Let's go sneak in and see what we find?

Oh, how boring. She's typing. (See what I did there? How very meta.) We can at least peek over her shoulder? Oh, kick rocks, Judgy McStickInButt. You're bored and this is interesting.

My mom has moved to the area but I have to treat her like a highly venomous snake with only one fang. I never know what to expect from her. She bitched forever about how she hated FL and had no one there so she moved here where EVERYONE is except my eldest; then, the other day, in a toddler fit of snark, she says she's gonna flounce across the country to go live near her (even though that kid wants to move back here). Ma knows no one there but actually said to me, "I have literally no one and nothing holding me here."

Uuuhhhmmmm? FUHUUUUHHUK YEW!!! How about both your daughters (including one who is struggling with several disabilities) and fuckin' um...THREE grandchildren??? But apart from that? ALL YOUR FRIENDS FOR 35 YEARS?? And apart from that? HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT HERE???? Oh and OK then...shutthehellupandno...but then, yeah, apart from that? Nothing.

Housing, my health and Halsten can wait for another day.

The kids...my kids are not doing well in school. My gal is cutting class while wandering the hall and my son just cuts class while in class by staring at the walls or pranking the whole class long.

They don't even know yet I've been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

 

So sorry to hear things are not at their best & for the MS diagnosis.
I'm not going to patronise you with the stories of friends with the same diagnosis as it affects everyone differently & treatment offered is different depending on where you live (& I'm just talking UK)

Sending you loving, hopeful & healthy thoughts in lieu of anything more helpful
Your kids will be ok & your Mum will probably still be slightly venomous - Mine thinks she is the oracle & font of knowledge of EVERYTHING & I sometimes snap back when I forget that she's a terribly wounded child with a very bold front

Please don't let your health wait any more days; it's important to everything

 

So sorry to hear things are not at their best & for the MS diagnosis.
I'm not going to patronise you with the stories of friends with the same diagnosis as it affects everyone differently & treatment offered is different depending on where you live (& I'm just talking UK)

Sending you loving, hopeful & healthy thoughts in lieu of anything more helpful
Your kids will be ok & your Mum will probably still be slightly venomous - Mine thinks she is the oracle & font of knowledge of EVERYTHING & I sometimes snap back when I forget that she's a terribly wounded child with a very bold front

Please don't let your health wait any more days; it's important to everything

My darling Holiday,

Thank you for your compassion. You're right with both how MS manifests and how it is treated. So far, getting the diagnosis was more of a relief than anything. It was just a way of understanding why my body has been putting me through all this bullshit rather than hitting me with a new and terrible disease. I now have a focus and direction to head when persuing ways of improving my health and healing my body...so, as shit as it seems, it was actually a Good Thing.

"Terribly wounded child..." Wow. Thank you AGAIN for giving me a great way to understand my mom. I adore her so very much but she was a deeply abused person and has only in the past 5 years even begun to accept and explore ways of facing and processing that ...ugliness (for lack of more medical New Agey terminology).

I am constantly looking at ways of healing, from meds to doctors to getting back into my writing. Thank you for "listening."

 

mmm writing is cathartic. I don't think I could handle what you've got going on right now, hope things start falling into place for you. I used to be a lil slacking hellraiser at school too, when I really understood how much my parents were struggling to keep us all together I started to focus more and pull myself together... it's hard to get a feel for what's at stake when you lack the context that an adult has, their minds are probably full of other issues that seem more important to them now than school

 

mmm writing is cathartic. I don't think I could handle what you've got going on right now, hope things start falling into place for you. I used to be a lil slacking hellraiser at school too, when I really understood how much my parents were struggling to keep us all together I started to focus more and pull myself together... it's hard to get a feel for what's at stake when you lack the context that an adult has, their minds are probably full of other issues that seem more important to them now than school

You're so right with all of what you've said, thujone. I'm so close with them, I know I don't have to say anything for them to pick up my vibes. They see my demeanor even when I'm doing my best to put on my "happy face" for their sake. It's having an impact.

Nevertheless, the weather is changing, I am starting to feel better and now that I know what's wrong, I have somewhere to focus and can more specifically direct my energy toward healing.

It WILL get better.

 

Yay! It WILL! x