If he's truly paranoid about giving you benzos, the SSRI's would be a lot more effective than Buspar. Even Kava Kava is more effective than Buspar.
Where do you get that SSRI's are more effective in treating anxiety disorders than BuSpar? Maybe it didn't work for you, that doesn't mean it doesn't work for everyone.
SSRI's certainly did nothing to help me as far as treating my anxiety, nor did any SSRI I ever took ever help to treat my depression.
And I've personally found listening to rain to be more relaxing than Kava. Then again you're talking about a product that has a message on the packaging stating "This product is not meant to treat, cure, prevent or diagnose any disease or illness."
In addition to the marginal effectiveness of Buspar (which never should of been approved by the FDA in the first place..can you say "bribe"?) the only people who ever benefitted from it in trials had to take it continiously for many many weeks before any benefit was percieved above placebo. It is not an "on demand" antianxiety drug. It doesn't work that way, it barely works at all.
It takes between 2-4 weeks to begin producing noticeable effects if it's going to work for someone. That doesn't mean it doesn't work. You even suggested SSRI's. SSRI's also take a few weeks before they produce noticeable effects.
In my experience I found that after about 2-3 weeks, situations that would normally cause me a lot of stress didn't bother me anymore and I stopped having anxiety attacks.
Considering what a mess I was at the time with anxiety with the fact that taking Klonopin was turning me into an absent-minded zombie, BuSpar turned out to be very effective for me and was much more benefitial in the long run than the benzo.
I know it's hard to believe, but sometimes drugs that don't get you high such as BuSpar for anxiety or ibuprofen for pain can actually work!