Bummed

Yesterday I had a reality check. I was smoking with my friend. We are both in a similar position. Broke, live with parents, live in small and sucky town, depressed. My friend was talking about how his dad goes around telling everyone that his son is a drug addict and won't do anything with his life. Being in a small town, that is poisonous and is hurting his rep and ability to find work. My family does similar stuff, but not as bad.

We are stuck in a rut and cannot move forward. We can't get out of this rut and seem permanently stuck here.

I got probation fees coming up and will be locked up if I don't pay them. For sure.

Well my friend gave me a proposition. He said he has gotten away with it before. He wants to knock over a liquor store. It was such a buzz kill because it just brought to reality the extreme shittiness of my situation. I really don't want to do this and told him I didn't want to. All he wants me to do is lookout and he will split the money down the middle.

I really didn't want to, but now I am second guessing myself. It is getting to the point where I either live the life that society wants me to live (a criminal) or go to jail because I cant afford my fees.

Fuck

 

Fuck that. If you don't want to do it, then don't. You know it's not right.

I'd have a few choice words with your family, were I in your shoes. Family is supposed to support each other, not cut each other down. Especially when doing so is preventing them from getting back on one's feet. I just don't get people sometimes.

 

You do what you choose to do. Don't let someone tell you what to do!

So I'm presuming you're unemployed? Why don't you try and get a job? A fast food job? Anything.
What are your skills?!? You've got to have some skills. Are there ways you can make money from that?

I know what small towns are like. I dreaded I was going to be there forever ... for different reasons but still ... I know it sucks. Thinking that's where you'll be stuck. Stop smoking and doing so many drugs (I don't know how much you do but stop it). It wastes money! You've got to find money to get out of this town, right??

Hope it works out for you.

 

I am getting up tomorrow morning at 8am doing some community service and looking for some work

 

Good man. Stay true to you.