broken lungs and broken bones (are the things that you have sold me).

[Raz]

We have broken fingers from strumming heartstrings coated in concrete. The powder explodes into the air with each pained note and our lungs heave with our burden...our self-inflicted burden.

You keep asking the same question, but you've never liked the answer. You look for beauty in danger and romance in tension and you never see the cliche inherent in these things. It's like a lazy brown dog, but you and I are the lazier fox...and it catches us in its pitiful hunt, again and again and again.

I want you to stop crying and accept that we are done. Because the sooner you move on, the sooner my journey can begin. We never got very far carrying each other, you know...just one false start after another.

We were never beautiful, we were just convenient. And now we're not even that. I'm covered in stress blisters thinking of you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.

It's a song you don't know...

 

[(Wordy)]

Woah, metaphor city!

I love the ending. 'It's a song you don't know...' says it all perfectly.

 

[Raz]

Thanks! :D I'm quite super-pleased with the ending actually, I thought that was a bit clever if I do say so myself..

I like using snippets of actual songs in my writing because people already have an emotional or intuitive connection with it and it's interesting to play with that...

Edited just a tiny bit before I read it; I made the first line a couple of sentences instead of one long rambling one....I think it paces better. I went through a bit more editing than usual with this one actually...I am trying to get in the habit of looking for improvement rather than blurting everything out and leaving it there warts and all.