things are seeming to calm down as of late, at least for now and im enjoying every minute of it. the mother and i have come to some sort of understanding. like a mutual appreciation for one another. she was with this guy for quite some time but she broke things off with him on account of him getting on her nerves. he still tried to pursue a relationship with her but she would only call him when something at the house was broken. it was sad because i thought this guy was a really great guy and i could see he really loved my mother. but my mother would use him then avoid his calls or run to the bathroom when he randomly showed up. she even told him that if he decided to date other people she wouldnt care.
one day she rode over to his house to retrieve something of hers and she found him leaving with some woman on the back of his bike. she was shattered and couldnt believe it. at first i wanted to say, "well you asked for this" but didnt have the heart at the sight of my mom's tears, so i sat and listened to her for hours. what surprised me was her willingness to admit her faults. she's not one to down herself even when all evidence proves she was in the wrong, but this time she was actually saying how selfish she was and how she brought this upon herself. she even went as far as to say that she deserved what had just happened.
i listened to her all that night and was worried because i had never seen her so distraught over her own personal choices. and that can be worse than having someone else do something to you. i respected her for that and told her so. the next morning she was still upset and called in to work so we sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and talking until noon. she finally called him and found out that the woman was a friend's girlfriend who was actually about 60 years old. the whole thing was just a misunderstanding. haha she felt so stupid, she came and hugged me and said she appreciated everything i had done and for listening so intently.
that night we had my sisters and their men come over for a cook out. we all drank and had some really good times. during which my mother took me aside and drunkenly explained how much she needed what i had done for her and that i kept her sane in a moment where she could have easily lost it. then she went on to say how she respected me as a person and that i deserve to have someone in my life. that she believes i dont love for convenience and whoever i choose will be an amazing person. i cant even begin to describe how much that meant to me.
it felt good to be there for her, to be a friend to the woman who gave birth to me. to build a bridge over the rocky waters that were between us. it may not be all over, but it's a step in the right direction.
one day she rode over to his house to retrieve something of hers and she found him leaving with some woman on the back of his bike. she was shattered and couldnt believe it. at first i wanted to say, "well you asked for this" but didnt have the heart at the sight of my mom's tears, so i sat and listened to her for hours. what surprised me was her willingness to admit her faults. she's not one to down herself even when all evidence proves she was in the wrong, but this time she was actually saying how selfish she was and how she brought this upon herself. she even went as far as to say that she deserved what had just happened.
i listened to her all that night and was worried because i had never seen her so distraught over her own personal choices. and that can be worse than having someone else do something to you. i respected her for that and told her so. the next morning she was still upset and called in to work so we sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and talking until noon. she finally called him and found out that the woman was a friend's girlfriend who was actually about 60 years old. the whole thing was just a misunderstanding. haha she felt so stupid, she came and hugged me and said she appreciated everything i had done and for listening so intently.
that night we had my sisters and their men come over for a cook out. we all drank and had some really good times. during which my mother took me aside and drunkenly explained how much she needed what i had done for her and that i kept her sane in a moment where she could have easily lost it. then she went on to say how she respected me as a person and that i deserve to have someone in my life. that she believes i dont love for convenience and whoever i choose will be an amazing person. i cant even begin to describe how much that meant to me.
it felt good to be there for her, to be a friend to the woman who gave birth to me. to build a bridge over the rocky waters that were between us. it may not be all over, but it's a step in the right direction.
