yoUr bLiSS
Bluelighter
so maybe i exaggarate a bit
but had i numbered you from the start
you'd be close to a hundred
tonight i sit here
slightly irritated
and somewhat perplexed
that you have not replied
you always reply
if there's one thing i can count on
it's your 1 cent replies
to my $5 ramblings
though you do throw in that unexpected quarter
every now and then
you have mastered the reply
composing is where you fall short
is it because for once
i told the truth?
not that i ever lie
i simply fill up your screen
with incessant whimsical banter
and miscellaneous "sueness"
always hoping to tug at your heart
with a secret phrase
or perhaps entrap it for a moment
within a careless witty remark
we have a strange relationship
our little made-up world
i dare not disrupt
we've been playing here for so long
why fuck it up with reality
ahhh...but i did
for the first time ever
your usual serving of sugar coated moments
was dashed with a suprising bit of reality
--------------------------------------------------
heart start beating again
breath come back to me
that did not just happen
and i did not just miss it
i could count the stars
waiting for a call from you
it just does not happen
yet here
now
tonight
5 minutes ago
5 sentences ago
as i finished typing "reality"
you freaking called me
i never answer the phone at this time
it always seem to be my mother
"i'm not here!"
i thoughtlessly screamed
it must have scared the shit
out of my roomate
and my cat
when i fell shrieking out of my chair
--------------------------------------------------
no one seems to question you
and your strange actions but me
and in my last e-mail
i questioned you
i questioned your lifestyle
i questioned your talent
i questioned what you have accomplished
i questioned what you have yet to accomplish
i questioned what you are letting slip by
i questioned drugs
i questioned how you think you can know me
you've never seen me feel
you've seen bliss
everyone sees bliss
i give it out freely
lavishing it upon complete strangers at times
but you've never seen me
hurt
angry
doubtful
weak
yet now
i have given you a glimpse of this person
destroying the fairytale
i am not always this
confident and dazzling
these are wings which i wear only for you
even my flaws
are flawless
underneath these sparkling wings
i took a chance
warped our world
and got no reply
a week later
i got a phone call
wow
if only i would have answered the phone...
but had i numbered you from the start
you'd be close to a hundred
tonight i sit here
slightly irritated
and somewhat perplexed
that you have not replied
you always reply
if there's one thing i can count on
it's your 1 cent replies
to my $5 ramblings
though you do throw in that unexpected quarter
every now and then
you have mastered the reply
composing is where you fall short
is it because for once
i told the truth?
not that i ever lie
i simply fill up your screen
with incessant whimsical banter
and miscellaneous "sueness"
always hoping to tug at your heart
with a secret phrase
or perhaps entrap it for a moment
within a careless witty remark
we have a strange relationship
our little made-up world
i dare not disrupt
we've been playing here for so long
why fuck it up with reality
ahhh...but i did
for the first time ever
your usual serving of sugar coated moments
was dashed with a suprising bit of reality
--------------------------------------------------
heart start beating again
breath come back to me
that did not just happen
and i did not just miss it
i could count the stars
waiting for a call from you
it just does not happen
yet here
now
tonight
5 minutes ago
5 sentences ago
as i finished typing "reality"
you freaking called me
i never answer the phone at this time
it always seem to be my mother
"i'm not here!"
i thoughtlessly screamed
it must have scared the shit
out of my roomate
and my cat
when i fell shrieking out of my chair
--------------------------------------------------
no one seems to question you
and your strange actions but me
and in my last e-mail
i questioned you
i questioned your lifestyle
i questioned your talent
i questioned what you have accomplished
i questioned what you have yet to accomplish
i questioned what you are letting slip by
i questioned drugs
i questioned how you think you can know me
you've never seen me feel
you've seen bliss
everyone sees bliss
i give it out freely
lavishing it upon complete strangers at times
but you've never seen me
hurt
angry
doubtful
weak
yet now
i have given you a glimpse of this person
destroying the fairytale
i am not always this
confident and dazzling
these are wings which i wear only for you
even my flaws
are flawless
underneath these sparkling wings
i took a chance
warped our world
and got no reply
a week later
i got a phone call
wow
if only i would have answered the phone...
