continuousbeing2
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2005
- Messages
- 1,094
This just in! Shocking reports coming in from Vietnam where authorities have just arrested 83 people, including 29 Americans, at the worlds biggest gathering of Hitlophiliacs on a small, uninhabited island 68 miles off the coast.
Hitlophilia is the uncontrollable sexual urge to have sex with Adolph Hitler, disgraced 30s Fuhrer of Germany, who mastermind a dazzling display of war and insanity. This disorder "first evidenced itself in the population in 1930s America, where factory workers and their wives would get so angry at the mere mention of the Fuhrer, that their only release was to want to fornicate with him," says Dr. Katherine Groteman, head of the Hitleronomy department at Brown University. "From there, it was merely a matter of time before it passed to later generations, first by being taught Hitlophilia by their parents, and then using the newly formed mass media tool of the Vinyl record." Oh, will wonders never cease?
However, there is a growing rift in the Hitlophilia community over the direction the organization should put their resources. It all started back in 1958, when the first person in The Society for Hitlo-Bonerian Studies espoused a radical theory, in his paper The Dynamics of the So Called Hitler 'Stache and the Pyschosexual Ordering of the Brain: A Journey To A Troubled Hart: The Fritz Hart Story, By Dr. Fritz Hart. Here, he claimed that their first members, the very founders of The Society, had only wanted to turn America into a part of the Nazi State, and they thought this would be a good tool to gather support for the movement. However, Dr. Hart claimed that they had known the truth, and the truth was that none of them were Hitlophiliacs. They were all in fact, Chaplophiliacs. People with an urge towards Charlie Chaplin, the infamous silent movie star. A great cry of relief went up at the ceremony, as a great number of the society were known as, according to Dr. Hart, self hating Hitlophiliacs. These are those whose brain said they weren't attracted to Hitler, but their hearts said otherwise.
This caused an irreconcilable rift that persists to this day. Which has raised some questions here in the Historiosexual dynamics world, such as just who gave the Vietnamese authorities the anonymous tip that led to the arrest of nearly all of the world's Hitlophiliacs (who will be imprisoned for 86 years in a Vietnamese noodle factory)? We here at News! have done some digging. It appears that the tip was called in using a disposable cell phone, purchased from a 7-11 in Butte, Montana. I traveled there, and asked the clerk. He said some very nice men dressed as American GIs came in. I thought it was odd, and they told me that "today, we take down Hitler. Once and for all..."
The question will no doubt rise in the hearts and minds of the society. However, at least for the moment, there will be peace once again.
Hitlophilia is the uncontrollable sexual urge to have sex with Adolph Hitler, disgraced 30s Fuhrer of Germany, who mastermind a dazzling display of war and insanity. This disorder "first evidenced itself in the population in 1930s America, where factory workers and their wives would get so angry at the mere mention of the Fuhrer, that their only release was to want to fornicate with him," says Dr. Katherine Groteman, head of the Hitleronomy department at Brown University. "From there, it was merely a matter of time before it passed to later generations, first by being taught Hitlophilia by their parents, and then using the newly formed mass media tool of the Vinyl record." Oh, will wonders never cease?
However, there is a growing rift in the Hitlophilia community over the direction the organization should put their resources. It all started back in 1958, when the first person in The Society for Hitlo-Bonerian Studies espoused a radical theory, in his paper The Dynamics of the So Called Hitler 'Stache and the Pyschosexual Ordering of the Brain: A Journey To A Troubled Hart: The Fritz Hart Story, By Dr. Fritz Hart. Here, he claimed that their first members, the very founders of The Society, had only wanted to turn America into a part of the Nazi State, and they thought this would be a good tool to gather support for the movement. However, Dr. Hart claimed that they had known the truth, and the truth was that none of them were Hitlophiliacs. They were all in fact, Chaplophiliacs. People with an urge towards Charlie Chaplin, the infamous silent movie star. A great cry of relief went up at the ceremony, as a great number of the society were known as, according to Dr. Hart, self hating Hitlophiliacs. These are those whose brain said they weren't attracted to Hitler, but their hearts said otherwise.
This caused an irreconcilable rift that persists to this day. Which has raised some questions here in the Historiosexual dynamics world, such as just who gave the Vietnamese authorities the anonymous tip that led to the arrest of nearly all of the world's Hitlophiliacs (who will be imprisoned for 86 years in a Vietnamese noodle factory)? We here at News! have done some digging. It appears that the tip was called in using a disposable cell phone, purchased from a 7-11 in Butte, Montana. I traveled there, and asked the clerk. He said some very nice men dressed as American GIs came in. I thought it was odd, and they told me that "today, we take down Hitler. Once and for all..."
The question will no doubt rise in the hearts and minds of the society. However, at least for the moment, there will be peace once again.
