I already moved out... My mom lent me her couch temporarily . We've been together 3 years . I became addicted to meth when we first hooked up , because that was his DOC. We've done different drugs together .though I quit meth after our first year . I went sober for a while and I also binged on oxy at times. He smokes meth still. It bugs me .He acts like a lunatic . And he's a jerk when he comes down. I tried to be fair about the meth , ya know ? Tried to be "cool" about it and reasonable. Hell I wouldn't want him telling ME I CANT get high if I wanted. (I'm not addicted to anything, but i enjoy not being sober sometimes)
He drives me crazy . I lived with him and his grandma and Aunt For 3years. We recently got in a big fight. I was mad because I feel like he waits for me to fall asleep and then leaves all night. Sick of waking up without my boyfriend . he's sneaky about it and that's what angers me the most. That and he's a control freak I can't even talk on the phone without him being a jerk and accusing me of things, so imagine if I try to be social with anyone I know. Its a fight. It's unfair.
So anyway he had been up for the night probably not the best time to come at him with a WTF ordeal, but I did because I was upset. After his grandma got in the middle I about lost it and went to my drawer to get dressed. i was like f this I'm leaving and he grabs me. I start screaming at him to let go and I'm on crutches cuz I pulled a muscle in my foot and anyway I started getting closterphobic (bad spelling)and I felt like I couldn't breath, this went on for so long, I felt terrorized, I reached for a cup and broke it over his head and I would of cut his throat with the handle but I couldn't reach it so I just got the side of his neck.. lol. It's not funny . But whatever... I can't take his family anymore, no one came to get him off of me , they spoil him rotten and it disgusts me the shit they let him get away with.
Anyway ... I love him... I don't see much of a future though... ... but I miss him... He says "how can you be ok with not holding me??"
He's right.... We were cute together , all cuddly ... I know how he feels... It hurts when someone you love just drops you like everything you shared was NOTHING. I can't do that to him!!... I can't just walk away like that... like I just forgot what we ment to each other . I was thinking maybe it's best just to taper... Like maybe we will slowly move apart and it would be better then just a huge blow all at once. I told him if he got a job I would get a place with him but I'm not moving back into his grandmas house.. Idk what to do about his meth problem though... I don't want to get my hopes up like hes just gonna change....I wish he would stop sending me suicide threats. It's so annoying... Idk what the right thing to do is.... Does anyone have anything to say about it ?? Thanks....
He drives me crazy . I lived with him and his grandma and Aunt For 3years. We recently got in a big fight. I was mad because I feel like he waits for me to fall asleep and then leaves all night. Sick of waking up without my boyfriend . he's sneaky about it and that's what angers me the most. That and he's a control freak I can't even talk on the phone without him being a jerk and accusing me of things, so imagine if I try to be social with anyone I know. Its a fight. It's unfair.
So anyway he had been up for the night probably not the best time to come at him with a WTF ordeal, but I did because I was upset. After his grandma got in the middle I about lost it and went to my drawer to get dressed. i was like f this I'm leaving and he grabs me. I start screaming at him to let go and I'm on crutches cuz I pulled a muscle in my foot and anyway I started getting closterphobic (bad spelling)and I felt like I couldn't breath, this went on for so long, I felt terrorized, I reached for a cup and broke it over his head and I would of cut his throat with the handle but I couldn't reach it so I just got the side of his neck.. lol. It's not funny . But whatever... I can't take his family anymore, no one came to get him off of me , they spoil him rotten and it disgusts me the shit they let him get away with.
Anyway ... I love him... I don't see much of a future though... ... but I miss him... He says "how can you be ok with not holding me??"
He's right.... We were cute together , all cuddly ... I know how he feels... It hurts when someone you love just drops you like everything you shared was NOTHING. I can't do that to him!!... I can't just walk away like that... like I just forgot what we ment to each other . I was thinking maybe it's best just to taper... Like maybe we will slowly move apart and it would be better then just a huge blow all at once. I told him if he got a job I would get a place with him but I'm not moving back into his grandmas house.. Idk what to do about his meth problem though... I don't want to get my hopes up like hes just gonna change....I wish he would stop sending me suicide threats. It's so annoying... Idk what the right thing to do is.... Does anyone have anything to say about it ?? Thanks....
