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Brain damage reperable?

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djshibbs

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 8, 2006
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I have heavily abused ecstasy lately, i can feel the affects on my brain, and some people have told me it wont repair itself and its permenant... ive taken well over 250 pills in the past 4 months

I am 16 years old. I started using ecstasy approximately 2 years ago, up until recently it was no more than once a month because i didnt want my brain to get all fucked up...

it all started this past june, i got a really good hookup on E, good pills for a really good price... i live in a small town with nothing to do, so i decided to introduce the kids in our town to this little thing called ecstacy... everybody was doing it... i was making pretty good money... alot of the people doing it after doing it a couple times a week for a month or two realized it was fucking with their brains so most cooled down on it... but then there were the ones that didnt realize that and just kept getting deeper and deeper into it... me being one of the worst....

i started out taking 3 or 4 a night, then quickly moved to 5 or 6, 7, 8.... i have had countless nights where i lost count of how many pills i took, and basically blacked out from taking to many pills... most times i wouldnt drink barely any water, and ALOT of alcohol, smoke ALOT of weed.... occasionaly take 3-4 hits of acid on E... occasionally would do coke or opiates on E... didnt even care that i was completely FUCKING up my body...

this went on for about 4 months, until about 3 weeks ago when i realized i was fucking up my brian and my body... when i didnt roll for a week i felt the full effects of how badly i fucked up my brain... back in the day when i would think of E-TARD, id think of something similar to what i am now... and i hated feeling like that so for another 2 weeks i took even more pills. but now i am DONE. i havnt taken any pills since last saturday, and am DONE

my short term memory is TERRIBLE. i have forgotten alot of things from the past... i cant think as good as i used to... my brain is fucking fried... but the thing that bugs me MOST out of EVERYTHING.... my emotions are completely GONE.... i dont get sad about things i should be sad about, things that should piss me off dont... the only thing that brings out emotion in me is thinking about my freind that recently died, and that doesnt bring out near as much emotion as it should...

basically i see it like this: my whole attutide on life is, i dont have one... i frequently catch myself saying 'i really dont give a fuck' to things i should care about, but really just dont... i just dont care about anything anymore. I HATE IT.

since june i have taken a minimum of 250 pills, my guess would be i took alot more than that, but for sure i havnt taken less than that...

people have told me that the damage is permenant.... im just wondering if thats true, because my brain is FUCKED up.
 
i'm sure you realize how INCREDIBLY, HORRIBLY STUPID your decisions over the past four months have been, so i don't hink a belittlement session is in order, BUT...

you're gonna need to stay off of it for a loooong while dude, if not for good, since you obviously have a very addictive personality. honestly, you MAY be dealing with some potentially serious depression and anxiety problems for as long as a few years. then again you may be one of the lucky ones that rebounds pretty quickly.

as far as being completely fried forever, i really doubt that's the case. you should notice some fairly consistent improvements if you continue to abstain.
the complete lack of emotion you're experiencing is typical depersonalization after heavy E abuse. i noticed that after taking a break from abuse, my depersonalization changed into pretty intense mood swings. but hey, at least i was feeling actual emotions again, right? these mood swings gradually subsided, and now i feel emotionally stable. hopefully you'll reach a similar state (i'm confident that you will).

anyway, the worst thing you can do right now is assume that it's a hopeless cause and that your brain is done. yes, you've put a VERY SERIOUS strain on it, but it will get better if you exercise some serious willpower in abstaining.

also, taking opiates, binge drinking, doing coke, etc. is EXTREMELY dangerous when consuming that much E. i'm very surprised you haven't ended up in the ER yet. you're lucky you still have a liver, dude.

anyway, you need to be off of rolls for a loooong time. i'd say six months absolute MINIMUM, considering the amount/frequency/combinations of drugs.

on a sidenote: i've definitely abused ecstasy before. but geez, some of you kids take the fucking cake!! how can you just "not care" and continue at that pace for 4 months straight?? i guess it's easier to get caught up than i thought :/
 
djshibbs said:
people have told me that the damage is permenant.... im just wondering if thats true, because my brain is FUCKED up.
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I honestly don't think anyone knows.

I think we do know that heavy usage of ecstasy can have negative effects on your memory, and on your mood. How many pills counts as "heavy", we don't know exactly, but I think you're there.

I can tell you from my own experience that recovery is definitely possible. I did something like 300-350 pills in a couple of years. So not nearly as much as you took. But I did recover. But it took a while.

You know this already, but the best thing you can do right now is stop. Stop doing E. Don't even think about doing it again.

Try getting some 5-HTP from a health food store or pharmacy, and take that regularly. Get plenty of vitamins and exercise and eat properly.

If you start feeling depressed you might need to consider seeing a counsellor or a doctor.

Good luck, I think this will pass, but it might take a while.
 
I agree with sim0n, I don’t think anyone really knows. But to deal with the depression in the short term till you fully get back into the swing of life without drugs, you could see a doctor for help with the anxiety.

~--slushed--~
 
Wow. That's an average of 2 pills a day, every day for four months.

I'm not a doctor, but I think it will get better as time goes on, time will heal most wounds, not all, not fully, but most a little bit.

BTW, i like the title of this thread.... for obvious reasons
 
So stop eating pills 8(

If you have a genuine medical concern then see a Doctor!

Edit: Good point Lev edited again :)
 
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You are just depressed,anxious and very tired(typical mdma abuse)...And For 1 or two months:depends if you will do sport and exercice.I have abused(mdma only) like you before and more than you I think (100 pills in a week end or 3000mg crystals in one way and many more other shitty stories that I don't want to do again).My brain is OK ,I have only my short term memory a little fuck but it come back to normal when I stop all the drugs during one months minimum.Did you test your pills?Do you know if they contains any meth or amphetamines?Because I don't think MDMA could fuck you like that,especially your brain...You must stop acids,opiates ,coke and xtc(if they are not tested) because they destroy you more than any others drugs.You are not fucked(trust me),you are only tired because of drugs(classical)
You will never ever enjoy drugs anymore(really bad especially for you who like drugs a lot) if you don't stop now
Be strong
 
It's unlikely that permanent damage has been done, although the recovery is likely to be a somewhat slow process (perhaps 6 months to feeling mostly normal again.) Your brain has altered itself to try to protect itself from the drugs you were taking (it's not an injury in the usual sense.) The changes should go away over time if you stop using drugs.

I do think it's important to stop all drug use. Don't keep drinking or smoking pot; that's likely to delay your recovery.

In the meanwhile, if you have significant anxiety or depression problems, see a doctor.

You might want to get a CAT scan to see how much damage you've done.
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Such a scan would not be able to reveal anything. The procedures used by researchers to look for amphetamine-induced brain injuries are not available at normal hospitals (and indeed, are unlikely to produce meaningful results anyway without a pre-use scan to compare it to.)
 
your situation might curable since you don't get paranoia after that first miracle pill . i know lots of people do the same thing you do ...trust me ...they go fucking crazy after the first pill.

just slow down a little dude..don't over do what you love doing .

good luck .%)
 
No to be the pessimist here, but (correct me if I'm wrong) I don't think brain cells are capable of mitosis. Any brain cells you killed during this period, will not recover.

With a massive pill intake like that, your brain chemistry will most definetly be changed. However, your brain chemistry is adaptive, so you will recover - it's just a matter of time. Your apathy for situations is normal. In fact, I get that even on one night of ecstacy use. The reason you are forgetting a lot of shit in the past is because in the past, all you did was ecstacy... On a night of heavy ecstacy use, I'd have memory holes of that night as well. I wont deny that heavy amphetamine abuse does affect memory, but I wouldn't attribute your memory holes as brain damage just yet.
 
my short term memory is TERRIBLE

So was mine when I'd never taken any E. Do a 2 week course in improving your short term memory and within 2-4 weeks your memory will be better than 95% of the human population. It really is that simple.

And if taking E worries you, don't take it anymore.

i felt the full effects of how badly i fucked up my brain

What exactly are you feeling? The brain has no nerve endings for pain so it isn't your brain you're "feeling". I could put a knife through your brain using nothing more than local anasthetic and you wouldn't feel a thing.

because my brain is FUCKED up

People have been through worse things than taking too much E. People have spent 5 years in german death camps on a slice of mouldy bread a day and gone on to be champion weightlifters. I've no doubt there were plenty of people telling concentration camp inmates "The damage is permanent you'll never be a champion weightlifter". People talk bollocks mostly. You can make a fresh start tomorrow and do anything you want to do. Ok?
 
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http://www.mdma.net/#mdmatox

http://www.mdma.net/#ecstasyprotect

Long-term MDMA-induced changes in the availability of the serotonin transporter may be reversible; but it is unclear whether recovery is complete. Currently the balance of neurochemical and neuroanatomical evidence, and functional measures of serotonin neurons, suggests that it is imprudent to take MDMA or other ring-substituted methamphetamine derivatives without also taking neuroprotective*** precautions. Arguably, it is best to take MDMA infrequently and reverently or not at all - Dr Shulgin once suggested a maximum of four times a year
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*** http://www.mdma.net/protect.htm
 
Long-term MDMA-induced changes in the availability of the serotonin transporter may be reversible; but it is unclear whether recovery is complete

I guess the other question is whether alleged damage to the "serotonin transporter system" makes any difference whatsoever to your life.

I'm sure Sugar Ray Leonard sustained some kind of brain damage from boxing - but he's living in a 10 million dollar house playing hide the weenie with half a dozen supermodels every night.

Theoretical brain damage that shows up on complex medical scans is one thing, whether it has any effect on your life is a whole other question.
 
it's going to be a long process but it's not impossible. just make sure you do everything you possibly can to boost your health (vitamins, 5htp, exercise, balanced diet, sufficient sleep) and do not continue taking drugs, as was said. if you're experiencing any depression, you may want to seek help for that as it could get worse.

good luck :)
 
Ismene said:
I guess the other question is whether alleged damage to the "serotonin transporter system" makes any difference whatsoever to your life.
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Given that serotonin plays a role in everything from mood to memory to sleep, I'd say yeah, it does.
 
Given that serotonin plays a role in everything from mood to memory to sleep, I'd say yeah, it does.

It might play a role but so do a thousand other things too. Do serotonin levels play a bigger role in your mood than having to get up every morning and going to a job you hate?

Serotonin levels vary from person to person anyway. There are people who have taken ecstasy a thousand times who have more serotonin than people who have never taken it.

There's an awful lot of depression and short term memory loss in later life in people who've never even heard of ecstasy.

And I don't know about you but short-term memory tests don't play much of a part in my life anyway. I can lead a very successful and happy life without being able to score 10 out of 10 on memory tests.
 
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Im in the boat with you too bro....thought i was gonna actually go a weekend without injesting...here I am with a pocket full of stones...and the best stones out now too..lol sucks..
 
Hang in there djshibbs...Just understand that time is the biggest factor here. It took me at least 6 months to recover from ecstacy abuse.(I've consumed at least 150-200 pills in my life). Just make sure to eat right and excercise..those 2 things combined is that I beleived to help shorten the duration of all the negative effects I was experiencing..Good luck
 
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