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BPD and remissions

C

ChristBait

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 27, 2005
Messages
153
Does anyone here have any experience with Borderline Personality Disorder and going through remissions? I was in recovery from it for years and years and it seemed like I was doing much better until recently, after going through a ton of trauma from my last relationship and break-up. My symptoms are worse now than they ever were before. Also I came off a really long meth binge and have a few months clean, so I think I might still be going through PAWs from that. I really wanted to start trying DBT but my psychologist of 5 years dumped me and referred me to an AoD counselor that I hardly get to see.
I'm constantly "splitting" people and am exhausted at the end of the day from all the mood swings I'm going through.
 
My friend goes through periods of remission and then traumatic events send her back off. The birth of her daughter made her the worst we have ever seen her, but now she's back in remission although it did take quite some time and she was really unwell, ended up in the psych ward etc, she is better than I have ever seen her.

Can you not find a new psychologist? DBT is meant to be really helpful for BPD. Are you on medication?
 
I went into full remission about 6 years ago, then destabilized and have had various problems off and on since then. Last year I went completely off the deep end, and required police.....assistance....to put the knife down and go to the hospital for a several week vacation. More meds to the cocktail and I am now again in complete remission and feeling fantastic, catching tiny warning signals when they come and medicating appropriately to keep me healthy.

I had a shitty childhood in the sense that no one listened to a single word that came out of my mouth. I had various serious, life threatening and excruciatingly painful and psychologically crippling medical problems but every time I complained it was "normal, everyone is like that" and then later "stop being a hypochondriac". I never had the typical abuse story a lot borderline people have. I stopped therapy a couple of years ago because after 9 years it was still going nowhere. Instead I meditate in a way, going into my head and exploring and taking apart my issues and either dealing with them or letting go. It's slow going, as one of the big ones is untreated PTSD that I have refused to deal with for 20 years.

So that all sound lovely, remission, self exploration and meditation, but a few weeks ago I found myself putting a kitchen knife beside my bed so I could sleep in peace because otherwise I was convinced robbers would come in and get me. It's a regular bump for me, paranoia. Happens fairly often. I'm still stable for now and I don't think much about the future.
 
I'm on prozac and a couple anti-psychotics, but they aren't doing much for the constant mood swings that last anywhere from a few seconds to a few hours. I really want to get a new psychologist and start DBT again but the county service that I'm with refuses to let me see anyone other than an AoD counselor.
Here's the fucked up part, I keep "splitting" even my mother that passed away 3 years ago. One minute I'll be festering with anger towards her or someone close to me, than the next minute I'll feel like shit for it... maybe think about something good that they did and try to forgive them. What a fucking head-muck. I'm definitely riding the bipolar-coaster right now.
 
^ what are some good ones? I've been on Lithium before and that helped but they won't give it to me now cuz I have a history of overdosing on my psych meds. I think I tried neurontin before too but that didn't help much.
 
I've heard carbamazapine (Tegretol) is good for BPD but I haven't been paying attention to the world of psych drugs in a few years so I'm really behind in my knowledge. I'm on two mood stabilizers but I take them for epilepsy, not BPD, we just chose them because they were antiepileptics that are also used for mood stabilizers (carbamazapine and lamotrigine). Those along with sertraline (Zoloft) olanzapine (Zyprexa) and quietapine (Seroquel) are all of the psych drugs I take. I also take hormonal birth control to treat my endometriosis and to prevent the lesions from advancing. Who knows if those pills play a part in the matter.
 
Any method of hormonal birth control sends me crazy, always has done. It is such a pain in the ass as I can't have the coil due to fibroids. Sorry that was rather off on a tangent. Charcoal gave me some great advice the other day so I'd listen to her, smart lady. Prozac did nothing for me, I think switching meds would be a good idea. Have you thought about getting a DBT workbook for BPD? I have just started using one for my PTSD, got some good stuff in there. You Know, maybe just to tide you over?
 
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I've been going to a weekly group session called "seeking safety." Its actually for PTSD, which is kinda what I have too, since in most cases BPD is just an extreme form of PTSD. They practice it in most dual-diagnosis drug treatment programs now.
 
Ah I see. I can't do group sessions yet, I have panic disorder. Just started cbt, got my second session on Tuesday, but from what she's told me already, I already do, have been doing for ages. But we shall see how it goes. I'm waiting for a private psychologist atm which could take ages depending on how much the insurance company mess me around. The psychiatrist that assessed me said I need 3 years+ of intensive treatment but it may well be life long as I am now disabled and a chronic pain patient, and the pain plays a huge part, and seeing as how there is no cure for my condition and no medication has yet been effective enough, I'm in for a long hard struggle finding a decent combo of meds and therapy, surgeries etc. It's already been going on for over 2 years, it just gets worse as time goes on. And to top it off, it is snowing and hail stoning out so I am gonna be stuck in bed all week with the looks of things.

Why do they have such a problem with you seeing someone else? If it's beneficial for your recovery you should be able to see a psychologist that provides DBT. Things are so ass backwards at times.
 
Ive been on a DBT waitlist for 2 years during those 2 years I have tried to kill myself via overdose 3 times, once landing me in the ICU for a week, then psych hospital oh and I became a junkie and went back to that psych hospital for 35 days. Actualy my rehab was all CBT based and it did help with my BPD
 
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