Boyfriend is coming off meth - What can i do to support him?

[Haly]

My boyfriend is a functioning meth addict and is currently trying to cut back on his use. Previously, he used before work a couple of days a week and would stay up every weekend (usually from either Thursday or Friday night to Sunday night). He did this for six months.

He hasn't touched it for three weeks and, for the most part, is in a really good frame of mind.

However, he's experiencing some pretty extreme mood swings. One minute, he will be buoyant and engaged. Also, very logical and thoughtful in the way he speaks. The next, totally antagonistic and unreasonable. The most minute issues will irritate him to the extreme. I often feel like nothing I say is right. I'm trying to stay calm and careful in the words I chose. It is exhausting.

My question is, what can I do to support him while he is going through withdrawal and the mood swings it brings? Also, when will the mood swings pass?

I would be grateful if any addicts or recovering addicts could offer me any advice and share with me their stories.

I am also conscious of looking after myself throughout this period. The whole experience has infiltrated my thoughts and consumed so much energy. I often feel frustrated and hurt. I would appreciate any insight partners of meth addicts could offer.

Thank you for reading.

 

[pofacedhoe]

yeah amp withdrawal lasts a looooooongggg time. truthfully


and the moods will level out to a kind of pleasureless anhedonia after a while then slowly improve over time

dont take shit you wouldn't normally tolerate just because his drug problem is giving him funny moods or it will grind you down

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey Haly and welcome to Bluelight

Sorry you are having to deal with the results of your mans drug abuse. Mood swings are par for the course with recovery from meth. He needs to learn how to deal with this and identify and engage in ways to deal with this.

I would not worry about walking on egg shells.. this is his problem and not yours. While you can curtail your behavior to reduce or eliminate any extra stress and be a little more patient and understanding there is no need for you to walk around on egg shells. Many times an newly clean addict will use their struggles as justification to act like an ass or throw a pity party where they are the victim and require and deserve to act like an ass. This is not the case.. support and little patience and understanding is good, justification to act like an grumpy baby who flies off the handle at everything is bulshit.

Here is some information on PAWS.. or post acute withdrawal syndrome.
PAWS LINKS
Why We Don’t Get Better Immediately: Post-acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS)
Post Acute Withdrawal (PAW) Excerpted From “Staying Sober” By: Terence T. Gorski
Post-acute-withdrawal syndrome Wiki

Exercise and Brain Neurotransmission
Neurobiology of Exercise

Here is also a thread that includes links to support groups for people affected by the addition of others, like Al anon and Nar anon. You could find some good suport and wisdom.

Support For Those Affected by the Addiction of Others

Also what does he plan on doing to address the addiction and heal from any wounds it has caused. Here is some threads about addiction that may contain some good information. Addiction is something that needs to be addressed in some manner, it does not just get better without working on it.

Addiction Guide
The Brain and Addiction

I wish you and your man all the success in the world on this. I would also encourage him to develop in implement a strong recovery plan to make this easier and give him a much greater chance of recovery.

 

[Haly]

Thank you both so much for your replies and advice

neversickanymore, I really appreciate you attaching those links, will definitely be getting stuck into those! His current plan is to make it to at least a month without using. I'll show him some of these links and leave it to him to figure it out. A more structured plan would be a good thing for him!

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey no worries..

Here are a few more links on different approaches to addiction treatment. It is often very beneficial and many times necessary for addicts to band together to fight this. The reason is the addicted part of the brain is more powerful than than the conscious mind, so often times we need the support of others to help even out the playing field.

What has happened is the use of the substance has been logged in as something necessary for life and been given a drive.. the drive to eat is hunger, the drive to drink is thirst, the drive to mate is the sex drive, the drive to use the drug is addiction.

Usually addiction takes a similar pattern to the sex drive.. So if you want to get a taste of what he will face try and not engage in any sexual satisfaction of any kind for a month or so and you will get a taste of how hard it can be.

but if I can do it so can he

SMART Recovery (Support Group information and discussion)
Twelve-Step Addiction Recovery Support Groups
Varied Approaches to Addiction Recovery