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Boyfriend + gaming

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warpaint

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
Messages
74
my boyfriend and i have been living together for under a year and have been together for a little over a year. everything has been good but as the months have passed, weve bought more stuff for the apartment. im not the most organized person myself but since ive moved out ive become more responsible. my boyfriend on the other hand likes to leave things everywhere. for example, if we go out to buy stuff or do errands, he'll leave everything at the door. lets say he buys toilet paper... if he needs it, he'd rather walk all the way to the main entracne where he left it instead of just putting the pack of toilet paper in the closet next to our washroom. when he opens packages, he leaves the wrappers and garbage right where he leaves it. so our apartment becomes easily cluttered, and i usually just clean up everything myself but lately its been getting on my nerves watching him game all the time. more so when i try to talk to him about it nicely and he just shrugs it off or makes up excuses, or worse, gets upset that im bringing it up at all. this whole situation is frustrating because it makes me feel like a mom and thats the last thing i want to be. it's just become really annoying.

our sex has always been good but lately its like all he wants to do is game. outside of sex he is still affectionate and good with me but i really hate initiating and yesterday when we finally got to do it, i was just not into it during the sex because it took him so long to cum. so we stopped. and it made me feel shitty afterwards. we used to fuck almost everyday and lately its spanning out to like every 3-4 days and its not really the best, especially knowing that i was the one who initiated it. and knowing that he'll hop right back on his game, as if sex interrupted it or something.

have i lost my boyfriend to wow? this whole sex thing is getting to me a lot and it makes me act all hypersensitive and sometimes he actually has no clue why despite how he knows i want to have sex. what can i do? in regards to the cleaning, is he always just going to be lazy, like should i give up on asking him to help out or at least simply put things away?
 
Don't waste your life hoping for change that might never come. My whole life I've known guys who sound like your bf (i.e. lazy as bones, underachieving hedonist types) and they suck the life out of any girl dumb enough to stay with them for long. It's not a mistake that you feel like his mom, that's exactly what he wants out of life, someone to look after him so he can keep enjoying his status-quo existence until he dies.
 
I uh, um, er, had a gaming addiction a few years back.
Embarrassing times...
My ex did everything in his power including breaking two desktop computers, but I would crawl right back to the game.
Truth is that I was just not happy with my life, my partner, anything. WoW was my escape from how much everything sucked.
Chances are that your boyfriend isn't happy with you and his situation and no amount of help is going to change that.
If you want to help him then just leave him. If he's not too far gone, the shock of losing someone so awesome might pull him out of it.
If not, you're better off at any rate.
Cheers.
 
First of all:

Does all of his friends play WoW? If not then try to arrange events with them in public. Let them rag on him for his constant WoW playing. I lost a lot of friends to WoW for a while but eventually they all got bored.

Also if he is choosing gaming over sex, then he has issues. Not with you but with reality. I had an old roommate get expelled from college because of Evercrack. Hell see if he wants to tabletop or play board games that require you to join in.
 
Ugh...I think tomdpimp's question is good, do his friends play? My ex used to be obsessed with Starcraft, I would have to insist for us to see each other because playing had become a bigger priority. Tbh the only way I got him out of it was to start playing myself, and for some reason that made him want to spend more time together...but seeing as this seems to have taken up all of your life with this man, obviously it's a bit more delicate. Have you told him about your feelings? Less the organisation/toilet paper stuff, but how it makes you feel when he doesn't initiate sex anymore etc.? If so, what did he answer?

How old is he btw?
 
I think that, through communication, you can work things out in regards to video games and sex. Perhaps he doesn't understand how you feel about his video game playing. Talk to him about it. And about sex.

As for cleaning, yeah he's always going to be like that, don't expect that to change! :p lol
 
llama112 said:
I think that, through communication, you can work things out in regards to video games and sex. Perhaps he doesn't understand how you feel about his video game playing. Talk to him about it. And about sex.

As for cleaning, yeah he's always going to be like that, don't expect that to change! :p lol
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since i made this thread i havent been horny or in the mood because im just kinda turned off by this whole situation. for example lately ive been trying to save money and eat healthier by cooking at home and although im not the greatest cook i make what i can... and he just kind of expects me to make food for the both of us. it sounds selfish but him expecting that really makes me not want to cook for him, especially when he cant even help out with the dishes (or he says he will but ends up saying "tomorrow"). last night i tried initiating sex again and it felt like i was forcing him or something so i asked him if he was tired and he said yeah and he stopped fooling around with me. i got pretty mad and spoke to him about the lack of sex as of late, and asked him what was up. he started to cry about how he's stressed because he has no idea if his employment insurance will come through, and if it doesnt that means he will have to find a real job, and he hates working, period. he recently started working for a friend doing grass cutting and its part time, like 2 days a week, but to him, thats more than enough work. in the past week he only worked 2 days and has been moping about it. then he said "and when i come home now i have to clean, go out and buy food, like i have no time for myself". he was still crying as he said this and i honestly couldnt sympathize. he barely works, barely does anything in the apt, mostly plays wow, and just because i recently spoke to him about working together to keep this place nice, he is acting like im sucking the fun out of him..... it's ridiculous. then he told me "sometimes i look at myself and i cant believe how im coping so well with all this stress". a little dramatic dont you think?

throughout my teenage years i was messy and behaved similar to my boyfriend, in the sense that i didnt have much responsibilities. my mom did a lot for me. then when i moved with my dad a few years ago, i had a real hard time trying to do things for myself given that my dad wasnt supportive or helpful in the house, or in any way. then i met my boyfriend and since we've been living together, i've been trying real hard to become more responsible and not be lazy especially when it comes to basic organization and hygiene. im 20, hes 22 this year, and the only reason why i have any hope for him to change is simply because ive slowly changed on my own :/

edit: might i add that hes a heavy pot smoker... he acknowledges his addiction and im pretty sure it it plays a role in his laziness. and again, i sound like a mom if i bring up his smoking addiction in any way. he gets really touchy and idk what to do. he blames everything but weed or himself for his laziness or irresponsibility (too tired, not enough time, etc) ugh
 
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warpaint said:
since i made this thread i havent been horny or in the mood because im just kinda turned off by this whole situation. for example lately ive been trying to save money and eat healthier by cooking at home and although im not the greatest cook i make what i can... and he just kind of expects me to make food for the both of us. it sounds selfish but him expecting that really makes me not want to cook for him, especially when he cant even help out with the dishes (or he says he will but ends up saying "tomorrow"). last night i tried initiating sex again and it felt like i was forcing him or something so i asked him if he was tired and he said yeah and he stopped fooling around with me. i got pretty mad and spoke to him about the lack of sex as of late, and asked him what was up. he started to cry about how he's stressed because he has no idea if his employment insurance will come through, and if it doesnt that means he will have to find a real job, and he hates working, period. he recently started working for a friend doing grass cutting and its part time, like 2 days a week, but to him, thats more than enough work. in the past week he only worked 2 days and has been moping about it. then he said "and when i come home now i have to clean, go out and buy food, like i have no time for myself". he was still crying as he said this and i honestly couldnt sympathize. he barely works, barely does anything in the apt, mostly plays wow, and just because i recently spoke to him about working together to keep this place nice, he is acting like im sucking the fun out of him..... it's ridiculous. then he told me "sometimes i look at myself and i cant believe how im coping so well with all this stress". a little dramatic dont you think?

throughout my teenage years i was messy and behaved similar to my boyfriend, in the sense that i didnt have much responsibilities. my mom did a lot for me. then when i moved with my dad a few years ago, i had a real hard time trying to do things for myself given that my dad wasnt supportive or helpful in the house, or in any way. then i met my boyfriend and since we've been living together, i've been trying real hard to become more responsible and not be lazy especially when it comes to basic organization and hygiene. im 20, hes 22 this year, and the only reason why i have any hope for him to change is simply because ive slowly changed on my own :/

edit: might i add that hes a heavy pot smoker... he acknowledges his addiction and im pretty sure it it plays a role in his laziness. and again, i sound like a mom if i bring up his smoking addiction in any way. he gets really touchy and idk what to do. he blames everything but weed or himself for his laziness or irresponsibility (too tired, not enough time, etc) ugh
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Who is paying rent and the bills?
 
works two days a week, but won't do any chores? you shouldn't sympathize with that.

in my opinion, he has to realize that he has to change something to make this relationship work. i don't think you will be happy if this goes on for much longer, especially if you live together.
 
life's too short. it's one thing to get hit by some hard circumstances, or even get caught off guard by an addiction, but he's literally crying (CRYING!!) about having to work more than two days a week. do you really think that mothering a spoiled, lazy slob is the best you can do?
 
does he seem depressed or seem like he has no interest in the real world in comparison to the way he was when you met him? I ask because I went through something similar, lack of libido, socially withdrawn, let the girlfriend do all the work and then act like I wasnt the one with the problem. when clearly I was.
 
I would at least talk to him and see what's up before splitting with him.. just bailing on initial appearance of problems is fucking weak. Something might have happened recently that's got him depressed.. what he needs is someone to talk to, you're in the best position for that. See what's up, explain how you feel. Then re-evaluate the situation.
 
I dont get it. I hate video games I do not see how pleasure is derived as you are not accomplishing anything. I guess that is why I just fixed the ignition coil on my truck, went to the gym, and am fixing to take the short rod out and go kayaking. Ditch him imo. Though I will say you guys sound awfully young and I saw most of my friends grow out of video games. See if he likes anything out doors and talk him into doing it that may get things going; it always does it for me lol
 
warpaint said:
we split it, half half
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this was the dude who was going to work hard to learn the stock market right? He's still playing wow?

I agree with SS, at least if you still want things to work, to give him an ultimatum. However you are under no obligation to "try to make things work". It's totally up to you and what you want to do. If you like him and see potential, tell him he has to get up/get get out, and get some money, otherwise you will leave.
 
You should hide the controllers until he does some house work. If he is going to cry like a little bitch that he has to work and be an adult then perhaps you should treat him like a little child.

Personally I would just kick him to the curb.
 
warpaint said:
edit: might i add that hes a heavy pot smoker... he acknowledges his addiction and im pretty sure it it plays a role in his laziness. and again, i sound like a mom if i bring up his smoking addiction in any way. he gets really touchy and idk what to do. he blames everything but weed or himself for his laziness or irresponsibility (too tired, not enough time, etc) ugh
Click to expand...

It sounds like he's not happy with himself and is stuck in a rut. Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom to get their shit together, other times the light switch can turn on in their head to realize that life doesn't just fix itself. If you really care, maybe you should sit him down and ask how you can help to improve his life, how to take back control of his future. Convince him that things don't change over night and try to measure success in baby steps.

On the other hand, if you can't be bothered to hold his hand, I wouldn't blame you at all. This is his problem and he needs to fix it.
 
ask him what his raid spec is and regardless of what he says just be like

"oh wow, I thought you would at least be good at that game considering how much time you spend on it"

let him know the game died almost 5 years ago, and the only people who still play it are eighth graders, Chinese people, and people who are afraid of change

ask him to lay a snake trap in your Wailing Caverns

man I could make WoW puns all day
 
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