• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Boyfriend doesn't go down on me

arp said:
this...imo dumping him without talking about it first is just dumb/inmature. tell him what you think.
Click to expand...

one kind of selfish is like a barometer for how you will behave in many aspects of life. they're often quite closely tallied. i couldn't be with someone who took but didn't give unless i had to argue with them for what i wanted. thats not co-operation in my book, you shouldn't have to be asked to know how to play evenly in my book.
 
^^^ haha

"He says I smell nice"

Well IDK id double check that. (Not saying you stink).Maybe it's what you eat/ drink and the odor turns him off a bit.
 
Some girls do have a strong odor/taste...Also, if you're dehydrated, it can make your urine smell stronger...Gross I know, but a real thing nonetheless....
 
Yeah.. If he has to hold his breath to stop from gagging while he's down there... then I could understand a guys hesitation. Hah. I've been at the receiving end of some pretty brutal box stank before... It's like an olfactory punch in the face. :\
 
Sometimes in the beginning, it can have a strong flavor...but once you lick it for awhile it goes away...

Some girls get really wet too, which takes some getting used to....
 
yeah you need to have a serious talk with him about this, as it is just not acceptable in a relationship

meanwhile, I think it's time that you held back a little bit from him to ensure that you have his full attention when you bring this problem up
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Stop giving him bjs.
Click to expand...

dont do this. you should be your idea of a good gf despite how he treats you. and if you don't think he's a "good bf" then leave him, don't treat him worse...

first thing u should do is smell it yourself - you be the judge... would you wanna be that close to the smell. if it smells extremely pungent down there then there are ways to fix that. after u fix the smell issue i'd say talk to him about it, be sure to tell him how you're feeling and stress how important this is to you.

if he still wont and it's truly that important to you then find someone that will.
 
^Well, like my grandfather always said, "If it smells like fish, it's a dish...If it smells like cologne, leave it alone!"

Drink water, shower, avoid garlic...but don't use any "masking agents".….but, I'm sure your punani is fine...It's probably his issue...
 
Step 1: Sit him down.
Step 2: Ask him why he won't go down on you anymore and tell him that you won't be upset.
Step 3: Profit?

And lol @ people saying dump his ass. This most likely is a pretty minor problem that just involves a little more communication and some douching. Most guys don't exactly want to come out and say that their gf's pussy smells like rotten fish.
 
I've been dealing with this exact same issue with my boyfriend of 4 years. He says he has no problems going down on me yet he almost never does it. I've brought it up enough times that I no longer feel comfortable talking about it because it makes me feel bad. I tried the no BJ route. It didn't work and I cracked after a few weeks because who wants to live in a world void of bjs? I'm pretty much at a loss.
 
^ wake him up by sitting on his face/ turn bj's into 69 from time to time? Girl, sometimes we just gotta take it ;)
 
In all seriousness, feeling like your partner is doing a chore for you strips a lot of the romance and eroticism out of sex acts. The this-for-that strategies aren't the best for this very reason. It sounds like you just don't have the best sexual compatibility. He doesn't like something that you do like, but he's afraid of hurting your feelings by being direct about it. So at this point, you basically have to weigh the pros and cons of continuing forward with him. One of the cons being that you'll likely never have this happen with him and it feel like he's really enjoying himself (if you've given him the green light and he likes it, he'd be doing it all the time), and the pros being everything you like in your relationship. There's nothing lesser about using sexual (in)compatibility as a reason to leave a relationship.
 
Last edited:
*sigh*

I just don't understand how a person can be completely fine with receiving and NEEDS to be asked to give. Communication issues? More like just selfish issues. If he isn't a dingbat, he should already suspect that you're probably really self conscious about him not reciprocating. Talk to him, I guess... If he's still hell bent on not pleasing you to the fullest, figure out if it's worth sticking around someone like that.
 
Last edited:
Red leader hit the nail on the head. There's nothing that turns me off more than what I view to be invoulentary sex acts. Like I would mention that its something I'm missing, he would do it for a few minutes and then not really care to try anymore. I never want someone to be uncomfortable with pleasing me. I mean, 3 years ago I got drunk and busted out my "toy box" from under the bed and showed him all my fun stuff. 3 years later and that stuff has stayed under the bed gathering dust, and he's never even mentioned it. As far as men are concerned, for me, this is all foreign behavior. I would feel like a bad person for ending it because of one part of sex since there are many pros to our relationship otherwise. I do realize however that I'm not getting everything I need I want.
 
It's difficult. All I can say is that in the past, staying in relationships where everything was great apart from the sex, and where the guy wouldn't even try to meet me half-way or make my satisfaction a priority (just like I made his) didn't work in the long term. Resentment builds up and spills into other areas of communication, frustration leads you to look at other men, and this type of lack of eroticism and playfulness and thoughtfulness in your love life must manifest itself in other areas, too.

I don't think that lack of head is a good enough reason to break up if you can live without it, but I think it is a big issue when the partner isn't even mature enough to admit it (I mean, he could be like "honey, I want to make you happy but this is a hang up I have and can't get over. What can I do to you instead? Let's get those toys out!" but he doesn't). So you'll have to figure if it's worth giving up on these things and essentially being in charge of your own sexual fulfilment in future.

As for me, I think I could be with a man who doesn't like giving head - as long as he was honest about it, accepted it was a flaw in him and wanted and was willing to please me in other ways to make up for taking this act off the menu... I'd see it like the equivalent of being with a guy who has a small cock but would fuck me with a big dildo if I wanted that experience, or for a man being with a girl who has chronic tonsillitis and can't give a bj but would give sloppy handjobs with lots of lube. We can substitute sex acts, but only with good communication; it really is about feeling that our partners actually care and want to please us and that it makes them happy, too.
 
lola said:
It's difficult. All I can say is that in the past, staying in relationships where everything was great apart from the sex, and where the guy wouldn't even try to meet me half-way or make my satisfaction a priority (just like I made his) didn't work in the long term. Resentment builds up and spills into other areas of communication, frustration leads you to look at other men, and this type of lack of eroticism and playfulness and thoughtfulness in your love life must manifest itself in other areas, too.

I don't think that lack of head is a good enough reason to break up if you can live without it, but I think it is a big issue when the partner isn't even mature enough to admit it (I mean, he could be like "honey, I want to make you happy but this is a hang up I have and can't get over. What can I do to you instead? Let's get those toys out!" but he doesn't). So you'll have to figure if it's worth giving up on these things and essentially being in charge of your own sexual fulfilment in future.

As for me, I think I could be with a man who doesn't like giving head - as long as he was honest about it, accepted it was a flaw in him and wanted and was willing to please me in other ways to make up for taking this act off the menu... I'd see it like the equivalent of being with a guy who has a small cock but would fuck me with a big dildo if I wanted that experience, or for a man being with a girl who has chronic tonsillitis and can't give a bj but would give sloppy handjobs with lots of lube. We can substitute sex acts, but only with good communication; it really is about feeling that our partners actually care and want to please us and that it makes them happy, too.
Click to expand...
That's spot on. I think in the end its not the lack of oral that's really bothering me, it's the total blasé attitude of my pleasure, or lack thereof. He really couldn't care less if I'm satisfied or not. It's evident in other behaviors.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top