bought chloroform and fuck knows why

....yep, i was remembering my young teenage years and tipp-ex thinner....so i think i'll just search for it on e-bay....find lots of tipp-ex, no thinner though...so i google it...find out it was no longer used as it affected the o-zone but it was actually 'trichloroethane'.....so i look that up and discover trichloromethane and that seems pretty cheap for a litre so i buy some (ebay) then i look it up on google.....its fucking 'choroform!' woo-hoo i'm gonna have some fun oblivion times with that.....and get this....trichoroethane is also a type of chloroform.....interesting to learn that as a school kid i used to tip a kind of chloroform on my school uniform sleeve and inhale it by mouth out of choice.....so what kind of fucked up world is it where you can no longer purchase your 'medication' of 6 years that kept you functioning by and large like a respectable member of the human race raising young children who would not dream of turning their kitchen into the shit hole mimosa DMT extraction lab it is today let alone allow their house descend into a shit hole pit of disgustingness whilst purchasing chloroform off ebay for no apparent good reason what-so-ever whilst having 'help!' carved into my upper arm with a craft knife along with a few other self cutting mutilations which i did yesterday evening after the kids dad kept on at me about the state of my house to the degree that i wanted to scream CUNT at him and tear his head off....retreating quietly into my shit-pit kitchen to find a fresh craft knife to slice away at my upper arm so i could feel the calm release as the blood slowly seeped out was defo a preferable way to release tension than to physically be-head the kids dad in front of them.......