poledriver
Bluelighter
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- Jul 21, 2005
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Born to a heroin addict in jail
DEBORAH Jiang-Stein was born in an American prison. Her mother was a heroin addict.
Ms Jiang-Stein spent the first year of her life in jail, before bouncing around the foster care system and ending up with a Jewish family in Seattle.
The tumultuous start to Deborah’s life held her back for years. She’s written a book on the subject, called Prison Baby: A Memoir, and published a piece at xojane.com describing her lifelong “battle with uncertainty”.
“My first step into the landscape of uncertainty began with the day I was born in a prison hospital,” she writes. “My birth mother, a heroin addict, was pregnant when she was sentenced for drug-related crimes, and I lived with her in prison for my first year.
“A baby can’t grow up in prison and no one knew what to do with me — whether to put me into foster care in West Virginia where the prison was, or in Seattle, where my birth mother was from.”
After living in prison for a year, Ms Jiang-Stein was removed and placed in a foster family in Seattle. A few years later, she settled with a Jewish family that wanted an “at-risk special needs child”. Technically, that’s what Ms Jiang-Stein was.
“Even though it was a stable family, I took a dive into a lifetime of confusion about where I belonged and when the ground under my feet would shift again,” she says.
“By the time I landed in my permanent adoptive family, I was a gaping raw wound of self-doubt and distrust of everyone around me. I went mute for days on end. It was the only way I knew to feel safe then.”
Ms Jiang-Stein says she doesn’t remember the moment when she was separated from her birth mother, but the emotional damage has haunted her for most of her life.
“My skin stings when I think of our separation. My body knows the leaving. It’s taken my whole life to heal the emotional pain and deep sense of uncertainly I have internalised from that night.”
Ms Jiang-Stein spent her late teens “committing crimes and running drugs” up and down America’s west coast. She felt the need to run whenever she was confronted by an uncertain situation. With the benefit of hindsight, she now realises uncertainty can “set the stage for new beginnings”.
“To thrive, you have to trust — in others, and in yourself. Because wading through the discomfort of uncertainty can propel us into growth,” she writes for xojane.com.
“I’ve also discovered that exercise, a little humour and sound sleep help to calm me down and clear my perspective.
“I have come to realise that the notion of being ‘in control’ is an illusion, and that uncertainty is an essential part of living in the beautiful and sometimes dangerous adventure of life.”
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/re...with-uncertainty/story-fnixwvgh-1226847291417
DEBORAH Jiang-Stein was born in an American prison. Her mother was a heroin addict.
Ms Jiang-Stein spent the first year of her life in jail, before bouncing around the foster care system and ending up with a Jewish family in Seattle.
The tumultuous start to Deborah’s life held her back for years. She’s written a book on the subject, called Prison Baby: A Memoir, and published a piece at xojane.com describing her lifelong “battle with uncertainty”.
“My first step into the landscape of uncertainty began with the day I was born in a prison hospital,” she writes. “My birth mother, a heroin addict, was pregnant when she was sentenced for drug-related crimes, and I lived with her in prison for my first year.
“A baby can’t grow up in prison and no one knew what to do with me — whether to put me into foster care in West Virginia where the prison was, or in Seattle, where my birth mother was from.”
After living in prison for a year, Ms Jiang-Stein was removed and placed in a foster family in Seattle. A few years later, she settled with a Jewish family that wanted an “at-risk special needs child”. Technically, that’s what Ms Jiang-Stein was.
“Even though it was a stable family, I took a dive into a lifetime of confusion about where I belonged and when the ground under my feet would shift again,” she says.
“By the time I landed in my permanent adoptive family, I was a gaping raw wound of self-doubt and distrust of everyone around me. I went mute for days on end. It was the only way I knew to feel safe then.”
Ms Jiang-Stein says she doesn’t remember the moment when she was separated from her birth mother, but the emotional damage has haunted her for most of her life.
“My skin stings when I think of our separation. My body knows the leaving. It’s taken my whole life to heal the emotional pain and deep sense of uncertainly I have internalised from that night.”
Ms Jiang-Stein spent her late teens “committing crimes and running drugs” up and down America’s west coast. She felt the need to run whenever she was confronted by an uncertain situation. With the benefit of hindsight, she now realises uncertainty can “set the stage for new beginnings”.
“To thrive, you have to trust — in others, and in yourself. Because wading through the discomfort of uncertainty can propel us into growth,” she writes for xojane.com.
“I’ve also discovered that exercise, a little humour and sound sleep help to calm me down and clear my perspective.
“I have come to realise that the notion of being ‘in control’ is an illusion, and that uncertainty is an essential part of living in the beautiful and sometimes dangerous adventure of life.”
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/re...with-uncertainty/story-fnixwvgh-1226847291417
