boredom? emptiness? not sure where this comes from....

[yoUr bLiSS]

if you only knew the truth
you would know longer envy
i would no longer shine
you'd push me off of this
god-like pedastal
i've been wrongly placed upon
you would all smile as i fell
tumbling in the air
frantically
helplessly
awaiting the final
long overdue
crash into reality
with enough power behind it
artificial light
glows far brighter then the sun
i only wear a cloak of sunbeams
the moon holds my soul
i harbor stars within
i pull pleasure from pain
inspiration from darkness
my radiance fools the commonfolk
confindence draws attention
mystery
a challenge
i recognize this
i use it to my full advantage
only my cat
and those who take the time to read
know my secrets
he's watching me now
you are reading me now
nothing in particular
is fueling this fire
maybe the cigarettes and vanilla twist?
maybe the soundtrack?(james "laid")
no broken hearts
no dashed hopes
no shattered dreams
simply emptiness
boredom
lack of inspiration
lack of meaning
lack of anything real
i'm sick of perfect faces
perfect images
perfect boys
i want a perfect soul
fuck money
fuck possesions
fuck gender
fuck race
give me passion
truth
honesty and individuality
i want a poet
a dreamer
a lunatic
an angel with a darkside
a devil with wings
a sister
a brother
a soul mate
someone to sit home with
on friday nights
some one to take me to that place
where drugs take me now
someone to share my words with
my passion with
my soul with
someone to give this heart too
this damn heart i've been holding onto
for over a quarter of a century
i'm sick of being fiercly independant
i'm sick of being the life of the party
i'm sick of being that girl
that girl everybody wants to be
i'm sick of being bored
i'm sick of being alone
[ 03 September 2002: Message edited by: yoUr bLiSS ]

 

[harraser]

i'm sick of being bored
i'm sick of being alone indeed *hugs*
love ant

 

[GentlemanLoser]

I'm not sure whats worse:
being alone, or being alone and knowning that you're still in love and just can't have it. Can't have that person.
Thanks for writing this. Good timing on your part, for my sake anyway.

 

[smileyfish]

Sometimes the hardest, scariest but also the most worthwhile thing to do is show your weaknesess, let the world see that combination of confidence, competence, power and fragility - it makes you seem more real. It means you can be honest and open. It also means leaving yourself vulnerable. I liked the poem though, good communication of sentiment (and no, you don't need to be heartbroken/depressed/angry to write well - it just tends to help!)
*hugs*
T.