Mental Health Borderline Personality Disorder

[Akerman]

Recently my psychologist suggested that I may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). My response was, "Isn't that basically psychologist talk for irritating c**t?" He explained to me that he didn't want to put a formal label on me, but that BPD is a personality disorder and that, as such, there is no medication approved for it's treatment, just certain, long-term forms of therapy. In my area, the waiting list is over a year for this kind of treatment. He then referred me away from the mental health clinic and back to my GP.

So, I came home and did some Googling, and it seems like this is one of the shittier (excuse my language) diagnoses one can receive. There are no medications to help, people with BPD struggle to stay in therapy long enough for it to work, most of them self-harm, most attempt suicide and about 10% die by suicide. Therapists and psychologists are often resistant to working with BPD patients, because they are known for stalking behaviors and demanding a lot of the people caring for them. There were also a few articles which pointed out that people don't like working with them because they are mentally laboring to treat - they are constantly expecting to commit suicide, and you can't ever hope to 'cure' them of that; they self-harm; they don't follow treatment plans; they don't tend to have wider social support networks. I can see why the psychologist wanted rid.

There are also a really depressing number of books and websites just designed to help the loved ones of people with BPD, because it seems that we tend to destroy the minds of those around us, which I did not need to know.

In fact, it all seems terrible. Which maybe explains why it's one of the mental health problems that many doctors still believe that you shouldn't tell a patient they have.

The good news seems to be that, if you make it to your 50s, the whole thing kind of disappears, in a lot of cases. But I am not close to 50.

Anyone else have this diagnosis? Know anyone with it? Any good sources of information or support?

** Edited to add: people with BPD are also known for using drugs a lot, and having terrible impulse control, and fair play, that sounds like me.

*** Edited again to add: The 'Mindfulness' post on The Dark Side reading list may be of help if anyone else is experiencing a similar situation, since I have also read about this possibly being helpful

 

[n3ophy7e]

Hey mate, I know it's easy to focus on all the negatives when you're in a situation like this, but try to focus on some of the positives. At least now you know what the potential issues are and that you CAN work on them with therapy. A lot of other mental illnesses are untreatable without therapy. Actually in my opinion medication rarely fixes a psychological condition on its own. Therapy is SO valuable for so many reasons. It's definitely worth a try.

I can relate to you, because I have depression and anxiety which has been very difficult to treat pharmacologically (it's taken me literally about 12 years to find the right medication for me). I've also been in intense therapy for 2 years straight and it's only really just starting to properly help now. I'm also an alcoholic, and well, I'm sure you can imagine the thousands of books, websites, forums and support groups for the loved ones of alcoholics!! So please don't think you're alone in this.

Whilst getting a label put on your condition can sometimes be confronting and scary, it can also be really positive and helpful. Now at least you have a direction for therapy options and for information you should be reading. Definitely give therapy a good solid try, and don't be discouraged if it doesn't seem to help straight away. There are a LOT of conditions that take years and years of therapy to treat.

Also, don't take it personally that the psychologist referred you back to your GP. Perhaps they really aren't qualified to do BPD therapy, and it's FAR far better for someone unqualified to refer them back on to someone else, than to attempt futile therapy sessions which are a waste of your time and money. It's not because they didn't WANT to help you, it's probably because they knew someone else can do a more worthwhile job.

 

[Shyshy]

Dear Akerman, I know a little bit about this condition. I agree with n3ophy7e that you should give therapy a go. When I say therapy, I mean, not just 'talking' but actual strategies to help you with your overwhelming emotions. Look up Dialectical Behaviour Therapy in particular. It's a holistic therapy that gives you strategies to manage your feelings without doing unhealthy stuff. Mind.co.uk might be a good place to start.

A diagnosis, particularly around the personality disorders, is just a convenient way for doctors to classify and treat a cluster of troublesome symptoms/behaviours. I dislike the term "BPD" because it doesn't go to the heart of the condition which is basically emotional dysregulation. Having said that, it does allow you to seek treatments that are targeted to the diagnosis. I agree with n3ophy7e on that point too

Bottom line is, help is out there. Best of luck

 

[spork]

Whilst getting a label put on your condition can sometimes be confronting and scary, it can also be really positive and helpful. Now at least you have a direction for therapy options and for information you should be reading. Definitely give therapy a good solid try, and don't be discouraged if it doesn't seem to help straight away. There are a LOT of conditions that take years and years of therapy to treat.

This cannot be stated enough! I was diagnosed as having BPD and after initially reading up on it and all the negative stigmas surrounding it, I felt completely hopeless. It took a bit of time for me to realize that the diagnosis was a positive thing and I could finally get the treatment I needed. When I finally did come to this realization, my head was in the right place to begin the recovery process. A diagnosis is just that...a diagnosis. It is part of who a person is, but it in no way defines the person as a whole. It's easy to give up and give in to the negative views, but it's so important to keep a positive outlook for both yourself and your loved ones.

I think your doctor was right in referring you to someone else and not diagnosing right off the bat. BPD tends to be overdiagnosed and as such if you are officially diagnosed at a later time, you might want to consider getting a second or even third opinion. There are doctors that are better trained at handling those with BPD than others are.

Get on the waiting list for DBT. I waited for a very long time to get into a group and it took even longer to complete the treatment, but it was no doubt the best thing I've ever done for myself. While the intensity of DBT can be intimidating, it's well worth it.

You're right about mindfulness. That thread is a great starting point for researching it. Check out books at the library on mindfulness and look up mindfulness groups in your area. Soak in the information and practice, practice, practice! Mindfulness is at the very core of DBT and I think it can be beneficial to anyone that practices it.

This book is what we used in my DBT group. Another resource that I've found to be extremely helpful is DBT Self Help, there's lots of good information on that site. If you have any questions feel free to ask, either here or by PM. Take care of yourself. You're not alone.

Edit: I forgot to add that you're also very right about BPD sort of leveling off as one gets older. I'm in my 30s now and have noticed a HUGE change from even a few years ago. As we grow older we learn more of the skills that we need to cope with our changing emotions and it gets a lot easier. When you add therapy to this, it speeds up the process even more.

 

[Akerman]

Thank you all for your replies

The psychologist didn't refer me on to anyone, they said that the only therapy they approve is dialectical behavioural therapy, and the waiting list is over a year. My GP and nurses have actually insisted on re-referring me back to the same psychologist, since he is the only one who can refer me on to another person. It sounds kind of pathetic and defeatist, but I was hoping that there was at least some medication that could be used short-term, because I'm simply not sure I'll survive a full year. I am a freaking disaster for self-destructive behavior.

spork, thanks for the links! Hopefully, when I go back to the psychologist he can get me on the waiting list.

 

[Akerman]

Got a reply back from the psychologist RE: re-referral, which basically said 'no'. Received a letter in the post which was clearly my copy of what the guy had sent to my GP. It said that the tests he had run suggested that I may have ADHD, which he is unwilling to treat because of my recent drug use, and emotionally unstable personality disorder (BPD), but he does not think I have the commitment required to treat a personality disorder, and it doesn't look as though he has offered to put me on the waiting list for DBT.

So, coming at this one on my own IRL, it seems.

 

[spork]

Wow

Can you talk to a different doctor? Even if you're not able to, try and work on it on your own for a bit and prove to your doctor that you have that commitment.

 

[Akerman]

I thought it seemed kind of harsh. I get that I'm self-destructive and therefore harder to retain in treatment, but that's pretty much the main reason I went to see a psychologist in the first place. I have definitely felt better about my future than I do right now, having read that letter.

I don't think I have many (any?) 'other doctor' options, since I'm in the UK. The guy I saw was the one above GP for mental health, at a local Community Mental Health Team, and I don't think I can get access to any other NHS mental health services except through them.

It may sound like an overreaction, but I think I'm kind of in shock. I've been asking doctors for mental health help for many, many years, and no-one has done much more than give me pills. Having finally managed to get a referral to the people who can help, and then being told it was BDD, was a bit of a knock. But reading that letter, having an actual piece of paper that says those people know what's wrong with me but don't think that I myself have the follow-through to get better, is kind of... heartbreaking.

At some point in the very near future, I'm probably going to save up and try to pick up some books, and check out those podcasts, maybe try to find an online group. But right now I pretty much don't know what to do with myself.

 

[spork]

I know this is difficult, but try not to get too discouraged. Things will improve.

 

[hunter1]

BPD is the new buzz word diagnosis in the psychiatry community.
Psychs love this stuff. Much the same enthusiasm that was used to justify prescribing Serequel in low doses for almost anything initially.
I've been diagnosed with BPD before and it broke my heart initially like no other diagnosis had.
I'm sure BPD does actually exist but it's just a check box of 4 of 7 mims criterium requires...
Seen quite a few psychs for extended periods since and they have all confirmed that I am not a true BPD case.
There's a few psychs out there that will give this diagnosis 90 times/100.

Actual diagnosis and labels really mean fuck all. There's no magic drug for Major depression, GAD, ADHD or even Bi Polar...

It's about finding a trustworthy Pych (very hard) and working with them in a clinical environment and a medical one in finding the minimal amount of meds and the right ones to help you get back on track

 

[Spadez87]

Recently my psychologist suggested that I may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). My response was, "Isn't that basically psychologist talk for irritating c**t?" He explained to me that he didn't want to put a formal label on me, but that BPD is a personality disorder and that, as such, there is no medication approved for it's treatment, just certain, long-term forms of therapy. In my area, the waiting list is over a year for this kind of treatment. He then referred me away from the mental health clinic and back to my GP.

So, I came home and did some Googling, and it seems like this is one of the shittier (excuse my language) diagnoses one can receive. There are no medications to help, people with BPD struggle to stay in therapy long enough for it to work, most of them self-harm, most attempt suicide and about 10% die by suicide. Therapists and psychologists are often resistant to working with BPD patients, because they are known for stalking behaviors and demanding a lot of the people caring for them. There were also a few articles which pointed out that people don't like working with them because they are mentally laboring to treat - they are constantly expecting to commit suicide, and you can't ever hope to 'cure' them of that; they self-harm; they don't follow treatment plans; they don't tend to have wider social support networks. I can see why the psychologist wanted rid.

There are also a really depressing number of books and websites just designed to help the loved ones of people with BPD, because it seems that we tend to destroy the minds of those around us, which I did not need to know.

In fact, it all seems terrible. Which maybe explains why it's one of the mental health problems that many doctors still believe that you shouldn't tell a patient they have.

The good news seems to be that, if you make it to your 50s, the whole thing kind of disappears, in a lot of cases. But I am not close to 50.

Anyone else have this diagnosis? Know anyone with it? Any good sources of information or support?

** Edited to add: people with BPD are also known for using drugs a lot, and having terrible impulse control, and fair play, that sounds like me.

*** Edited again to add: The 'Mindfulness' post on The Dark Side reading list may be of help if anyone else is experiencing a similar situation, since I have also read about this possibly being helpful

I'm 26 male(most are women) and have BPD. Got diagnosed at 17 after a suicide attemp when I was in the army reserve for a short bit. I didn't take it seriously until about 23-24(I didn't agree I had it) I'm a fairly intelligent guy, but this disorder has helped me sabotage anything in my life from careers to life long friendships.

I'm not gonna lie it's awful.

I've tried every med under the sun. They don't work or as you read about people like us is I don't stick to it. I have burnt ever bridge except my family, but even they are close to leaving me. It's near impossible to control how I act sometimes.

My advice to you and what I try to do myself is when I see/feel myself start to act like the disorder does to people like us i try to take a step back, take some alone time and just try and chill. I tell my self over and over again that I'm acting unreasonably or doing something idiotic. Sometimes it works sometimes not. Look at the symptoms of the disorder and just do your best to act the opposite.

Best of luck we need it.

Oh btw I quit all drugs and am tapering off my Valium but my psychiatrist just showed me the door (for honestly no reason) after 9 years for "not trying" in short good luck (as you have read) finding some doc who wants to take you on.

 

[theatarisfan]

Hiya mate, sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It's definitely better that you know what they think it is though, like other people have said, as least you can start the work in therapy. I thought i would reply as i alo live in the UK and suffer with various mental health problems and have been reffered to the CMHT many times. The time before last when i was referred, i saw this lady psychiatrist who i REALLY didn't get on with and she was doing various random things like taking me off amitriptyline (which i was responding to well) and putting me on imipramine then changing me to clamipramine. Anyway, long story short she was a nightmare so i stopped going. Anyway, my fiancé died about 7 or 8 months ago (that was the reason i was interested in your post as she used to suffer with BPD, don't worry it wasn't that that killed her! She died choking on her vomit after we were taking morphine while we were HEAVY benzodiazepine addicts) which caused me to want to get clean from opiates as i was on a 16mg subutex script but was dabbling with heroin when i could and also from diazepam which i was taking around 500mg a day at that point. I am now clean. Needless to say i have been ridiculously depressed up until nowish basically so i went back to my GP who suggested referring me back to CMHT. I said no for a couple of months before actually thinking to ask if i can be reffered back there but to a different DR and once i had asked he said yeah that is fine. You're GP just has to include that information in the refferal thats all.
I suffer from depression, general anxiety disorder and insomnia so like i said I'm very familiar with life with CMHT and general mental health stuff. You need to remember that it doesn't really make a difference that they found something to call what you have. The only difference is that you now know what will be useful to read regarding treatment options.
It kinda sucks that there is no medication that is for BPD but i know the feeling in a way as i have been through ALL the antidepressants, anti-anxiety and sleeping tablet available on the NHS in UK that is available...nothing helps!
If anything medication has made my problems 100 times worse as the ability to EASILY score a Nitrazepam or diazepam or clonazepam etc etc etc only facilitated me getting HEAVILY addicted to benzos! I mean you heard what doses of diazepam i was doing daily before my detox. I was doing more than 500mg diazepam a day! usually 600-700m isn and was first prescribed temazepam at the age of 16 and continued to take benzos everyday until i quit about 3 or 4 months ago now.
Go back to your GP and talk to them about your referral and ask if you can be referred to someone else as I'm sure it is possible and when you have the ability to get therapy just really get involved.
I know that, although it was my enemy because i got addicted to it, diazepam GREATLY helped Georgie ( my ex fiancé who also had BPD) when everything was getting too much and she needed to chill and take a step back like spadez87 is saying. Just do be careful of benzo addiction, especially if you have a history with drug abuse or if you know you have an addicted personality as benzo withdrawal is no joke! it was hundreds of times worse than any heroin and/or subutex detox. I literally wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy and i don't really EVER say that about anything lol. i am literally only JUST feeling relatively normal again and its been MONTHS since i stopped taking diazepam now.
I hope all goes well mate. Things will get better. No matter how bad things are, they will NEVER stay like that!
Take care!

 

[nuttynutskin]

BPD is the new buzz word diagnosis in the psychiatry community.
Psychs love this stuff.

Really? I was under the impression that psychs were reluctant to label anyone that because of how hard it is to treat.

 

[hunter1]

In Australia I've found this the case. We are naturally 10 years behind the rest of the world on everything but hard to treat aspect I've not found an issue that psychs really care about. Some cases are harder than others but most bilk billing/ 300 dollar a pop Pychs I think find BPD a good little erner because of the long term treatment guatentee.

Beyond matching 4 criterium s of 7 I think it's just another label for a labels sake.
The criterion is pretty broad also...

The label in this case I just don't see a positive in its justification.

 

[factorygirl]

Recently my psychologist suggested that I may have borderline personality disorder (BPD). My response was, "Isn't that basically psychologist talk for irritating c**t?" He explained to me that he didn't want to put a formal label on me, but that BPD is a personality disorder and that, as such, there is no medication approved for it's treatment, just certain, long-term forms of therapy. In my area, the waiting list is over a year for this kind of treatment. He then referred me away from the mental health clinic and back to my GP.

So, I came home and did some Googling, and it seems like this is one of the shittier (excuse my language) diagnoses one can receive. There are no medications to help, people with BPD struggle to stay in therapy long enough for it to work, most of them self-harm, most attempt suicide and about 10% die by suicide. Therapists and psychologists are often resistant to working with BPD patients, because they are known for stalking behaviors and demanding a lot of the people caring for them. There were also a few articles which pointed out that people don't like working with them because they are mentally laboring to treat - they are constantly expecting to commit suicide, and you can't ever hope to 'cure' them of that; they self-harm; they don't follow treatment plans; they don't tend to have wider social support networks. I can see why the psychologist wanted rid.

There are also a really depressing number of books and websites just designed to help the loved ones of people with BPD, because it seems that we tend to destroy the minds of those around us, which I did not need to know.

In fact, it all seems terrible. Which maybe explains why it's one of the mental health problems that many doctors still believe that you shouldn't tell a patient they have.

The good news seems to be that, if you make it to your 50s, the whole thing kind of disappears, in a lot of cases. But I am not close to 50.

Anyone else have this diagnosis? Know anyone with it? Any good sources of information or support?

** Edited to add: people with BPD are also known for using drugs a lot, and having terrible impulse control, and fair play, that sounds like me.

*** Edited again to add: The 'Mindfulness' post on The Dark Side reading list may be of help if anyone else is experiencing a similar situation, since I have also read about this possibly being helpful

Akerman your fears are completely valid. Current literature regarding borderline personality disorder focuses on its negative effects (self-mutilation, substance abuse, hypersexuality etc). In my experience, I have not been diagnosed because I have not been clean long enough. The psychiatrists/psychologists who I see state that I need at least 5 years of sobriety before a diagnoses can be made (I am at 2).

In my experience in various treatment centers and clinician, DBT and CBT have helped me a lot. I have not self-harmed in over 2 years, am in a relatively stable relationship with someone who has come to therapy, put in the time and work, and implements techniques they learned when I go off.

Finally, I dug this out of my undergrad textbook for you....

We are not hopeless, we just need more of a push and an intricate network of support.

(Comer, 2013, p. 491)

References
Comer, Ronald J. Abnormal Psychology. 7th ed. New York: Freeman, 2010. Print.