Mental Health Body image issues

Lysis - yeah, I always tell myself I just won't buy food for my room but I give up every time, it's awful. That's one bad thing about being in charge of my finances now...

You're right, going by how clothes fit is probably a better idea - I place so much importance on my weight because I'm horrible at judging how I look so the weight is a good benchmark, like I know that I feel comfortable and look good between 60 & 65 kg, for instance. But I think I'm going to do like you and stop weighing myself for a while because it just depresses me every time I get on the scale - I could have been feeling good about myself but then I'll just delve right back into self-hating mode. :(
 
I hate my skinniness. From my perspective, this is the harder way to reach a normal weight. To lose weight requires not eating, this requires force-feeding :(

No offense dude but how is not eating when you're addicted to food nicer than getting to eat whatever you want? :\
I'm not saying it's fun or easy to want to put on weight, but I was in your position a few years ago when I had to put on 15kg (over 30lbs) and I must say it made me much less miserable than needing to lose weight.
It probably just depends on the person but in any case I don't really see the point in making it sound like losing weight is easy...
 
This was my point on the last page:

Women are under pressure to be skinny.

Guys are under pressure to be big.

I'm a 21yo male, who is 6'0" tall and weighs 145lbs. That has taken me eating THOUSANDS of calories per day. It can be as hard for me to gain weight as it is for others to lose weight. And its not like I dont eat....

I also don't think he was saying gaining weight is "easy" just as you're not saying gaining weight is "easy".
 
I entirely agree with you. As I said, I think it depends on the person and trying to gain weight can be as frustrating as trying to lose it. I just didn't really appreciate the 'this is the harder way to reach a normal weight', especially since that's proved to be completely untrue in my personal case :\
 
True true...sorry, I just got some bad news a couple hours ago so I'm in a horrible mood and I'm kind of jumping on every occasion to get mad at people.

If I ever implied that I certainly didn't mean it.
 
are you still on/off the d right now?

(and body image issues have nothing to do with your gender, or whether the idea is gain/lose/whatever. nor do they require someone to be unattractive. it's a psychological issue manifested that way / showing that as a symptom.. that's why the 1st thing i asked (and was actually wondering this when replying in the HL thread) was whether you're on/off or still in your PAWS stage - because i imagine that's the case<at least PAWS- that took months for me to get past>, at which point i'd just.. gently, lol..remind/suggest you not take it out on yourself in this manner. training/fitness/health are important, but that's not what your concern really is here, if that makes sense)
 
Sukkubus - I think that was the best description I've ever heard of how it feels. Actually it's made me realize exactly what the thought process behind all this is. Thank you

bmxxx - dyou mean on drugs? Well...yeah I mean I've been using fairly regularly, not daily anymore but both often and scarcily enough that I haven't been going through any intense withdrawals so I don't think I would be PAWS. The last time I went through a really awful withdrawal was when I came off xanax but that was in april/may and I think the psychological WDs are over by now even though I still have some of the physical ones.
To be fair though I've had body image issues since long before I started dabbling with drugs - ever since I got any sort of awareness of how I look really, which was when I was about 13. :\
I think Sukkubus is probably right - since I already hate pretty much everything about myself, I probably try to focus on this because it's an outward illustration of who I am.
 
i was referring to what you'd mentioned a month or two ago, not benzos.

/blows my mind you're unhappy with yourself... you're in school, active, pretty..and dat smile ;P
 
Yeah no I figured, but I haven't ever properly withdrawn from heroin yet so I don't think that would be it.

And well thank you...I really didn't use to be like this but years of being told you're worthless and the world would be better off without you do kinda get to you in the end :\
 
Pagey who ever put you down like that is an utter and complete idiot. Honestly I think you have a very attractive personality because your open to asking others opinions and you try to help others. What that means is, in relationships your going to be able to work through any issues with your boyfriend/husband instead of burrying it or being passive-agressive. Just remember pagey there are A LOT of fish in the sea and theres someone for everyone. I know you've been through some pretty rough times but look at it this way. Now you have a better idea of the way you wanted to be treated in a relationship. Also if you've kind of let your body go a tad, do something about it. Cut back on the snacks/desserts, get into running, get a gym membership, go get your hair and nails done. Be pro-active in taking care of yourself and I think you will be a much happier person.
 
Yeah no I figured, but I haven't ever properly withdrawn from heroin yet so I don't think that would be it.
are you using the same levels as then, or like...back/forth'ing it, if that makes sense? are you unfamiliar w/ w/d's?[opiate w/d's aside from heroin?]

And well thank you...I really didn't use to be like this but years of being told you're worthless and the world would be better off without you do kinda get to you in the end :\
is that happening in the home? how many yrs have you been in school now? i imagine you're smart enough to have been putting distance between you and..whoever.
 
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