Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

[gher]

I think I've forgotten how to pick up. I just can't do it anymore. I have no idea why, but every time I go out I don't usually want anything to do with strangers.

Not that this is a bad thing, mind, in fact it's probably a sign of maturity.

 

[papermate]

lol lolooo lol. backo you make me smile at the shit you write.

backo, backo, backo..... my god. its been ages since ive been in this thread. not beacuse i have had a girlfriend but i got tired of posting my own insecurites and tired of trying to reason why i didnt have a girlfriend. its very hard to see what everyone else sees but you dont. everyone could see i was searching but with too much specific criterea and to many barriers on my side.

i also was caseing this thread to see if there were any lovely ladies that i could pick up. nobody returned my emails and i got warned by an administrator for unacceptable behaviours. im kdding. anywho....

but my god, ive missed your posts and the banter from everyone that you create. it mad me laugh, i see a bit of that in me but not much.

i have a girlfriend now. sometime i cant beleive, and i work SUPER hard to make it work. I have significant issues and im glad she is perservering to work through them with me.

i was going to resist the urge to post on here because i might jinx it, so backo....if this post fucks up my relationship im going to come around and stick my dick up your arse. sounds like you need some spice in your life :/

 

[deeCee]

Im Single.

I would really like to be un-single.

This can be sorted, now all you have to do is ring up an airline and book a flight to melbourne

I hate my impulses, one moment, Im content and happy with my current relationship situation (that being single) then, it just takes seeing some couple doing something sweet together, and it gets in the frame of mind that I'm missing something from my life.

So I think there is a message in this for all those couples out there. GET OUT of my fucking site! %)

 

[katmeow]

^^^ Yeah, note to self, don't watch movies with soppy romantic scenes in them on days you are feeling lonely

I did however have a question for the assembled wisdom of the singles thread:
Is sleeping with a close friend bad?
Assuming a complete understanding that you arent going to get together and that the friendship is the most important thing.

Anyone have similar stories?

Everyone I've slept with (which isn't very many tbh ) has been a friend before the event. I went out with 2 of them, and we're still friends now after breaking up. And I'm still very good friends with the others except one.

Sex with friends is great, as long as both parties know where they stand with it.

 

[deeCee]

^ Hey friend! how are you?

 

[m4dd0g]

You start dating someone else the friend gets jealous and wham friendship is ruined.

IMO this is about communication ...
I dont mean rationalisation where you sit there trying to reason your way into how you'd like things to be.
Simply acknowledging how you both feel (sorry if this sounds too gehy)

Ive done this with x-gf & bonk buddies; where Ive often helped them with their next relationship.
In the same conversation we've talked about still having left over (active) feelings .. but theres no expectation about it.
Acknowlege it, talk about it, joke about it if you can .. it aint the end of the world.

Sex with friends is great, as long as both parties know where they stand with it.

Well put.
I dont think you get the 'great' without some amount of risk.

Btw, is having bonk buddy in breach of the singles thread terms and conditions?

 

[smart-e]

^^
I see what you are saying and I totally agree. I just know women and I know how jealous and petty we can be when we see a man that we love or once loved happy with someone else But Ive done it in the past and the friendship remained somewhat intact after but no without alot of work and reassuring the new partner that you wont go back to said person etc.

P.s Bonk buddies are allowed in the single tread but its a grey area

 

[muzby]

^^
Bonk buddies are allowed in the single tread but its a grey area

how many times do i have to tell you.... stop sleeping with my grandfather!!!

 

[deeCee]

Hmmmm So a girl at work told her friend that I like her. I only found this out after I saw her friend, the other day and she gave me this look and cheeky smile. I just knew my work mate had told her to which she fessed up.

The feed back was all good, apprently I'm cute and funny

There could be problems though, just say we did "hit it off". The girl at work will know everything, from they girlie gossips I'm sure they will have. And I'm not sure if I'm comforatble with someone from work, knowing all the intimate details of how I banged her behind the shelter shed

The other problem is, that the friend is the girl from work, Boyfriends brothers ex (tongue twister I know). And I tend too see her boyfriend from time to time for drinks and stuff. Now, in some twisted way is this wrong?

 

[xcidium]

Wrong, no. No it's not.

There could be problems though, just say we did "hit it off". The girl at work will know everything, from they girlie gossips I'm sure they will have. And I'm not sure if I'm comforatble with someone from work, knowing all the intimate details of how I banged her behind the shelter shed

This would be my only concern. Sounds like it's worth a shot though.......

 

[m4dd0g]

how many times do i have to tell you.... stop sleeping with my grandfather!!!

Its just that the randy old coot is so frickin HOT!
And Im not even gay (well.. thats what my bf tells me)

So a girl at work ...

Unless you dont give a crap about the job: dont shit where you sleep dude.
The phrase is cliche, but its there for a good reason.
Its heaps better to just flirt lots, hit on her friends, then nail each other when one of you quit

 

[deeCee]

Unless you dont give a crap about the job: dont shit where you sleep dude.
The phrase is cliche, but its there for a good reason.
Its heaps better to just flirt lots, hit on her friends, then nail each other when one of you quit

Ummm dude, did you even read the post, its the girl from works friend... not her you silly riddiot! 8)

 

[toerag]

The other problem is, that the friend is the girl from work, Boyfriends brothers ex (tongue twister I know). And I tend too see her boyfriend from time to time for drinks and stuff.?

this is where I'd be getting more worried about the situation. I recently started seeing a fella who I'd met through a friend's b/f's friend. It was the b/f's friend's flatmate I hooked up with. That alone was a bit weird, and a bit too incestuous for my liking to begin with, but the sex was good. Then I found out this fella also used to sleep with my friend's b/f's sister.

I got out of there not too long after. It just got really awkward, even at the good stage of me and him seeing each other. I just felt awkward at parties and the ex was there, or the flatmate or the whoever. I spent too much time worrying about who was talking to who about us and what was being said. Not even the part where you worry about what details are being spread around, but more what people's opinions were.

So I got out of that quasi-relationship, and started seeing my colleague's friend's boyfriend's friend. Who use to go out with my colleague's friend's friend.

You'd have thought I'd learned.

So now I just hang around this thread and keep all fellas off limits!

 

[m4dd0g]

Ummm dude, did you even read the post, its the girl from works friend... not her you silly riddiot! 8)

harsh, but to make it up to me you should employ her then take my original advice

btw, this is how i read it (gramatically correct)

Hmmmm So a girl whilst at work told her friend that I like her. I only found this out after I saw her friend, the other day and she gave me this look and cheeky smile. I just knew my work mate had told her to which she fessed up.

Now you're off my xmas list

 

[muzby]

There could be problems though, just say we did "hit it off". The girl at work will know everything, from they girlie gossips I'm sure they will have. And I'm not sure if I'm comforatble with someone from work, knowing all the intimate details of how I banged her behind the shelter shed

i've always got a saying.. if you've got nothing to hide, why be worried about it?? afterall, if you can perform quite well, the girl will (generally) brag/boast to her friend about how good it is... so if anything, this is a BONUS!!

The other problem is, that the friend is the girl from work, Boyfriends brothers ex (tongue twister I know). And I tend too see her boyfriend from time to time for drinks and stuff. Now, in some twisted way is this wrong?

who broke it off? if the girl at work's boyfriend's brother (who saw ferris pass out at 41 flavours last nite) broke it off, then the girl at work's boyfriend (ah fuck it, can i just call him bruce to make it easier and to save me typing??) should have no problems with you at all.... but if it makes you feel better, you can always ask bruce's brother...

 

[ButrosButros_Grantos]

I've decided that being single is okay as long as you are comfortable with it and equally if you decide that people that are not okay with you being single can go get arsed... This includes mothers that set you up on suprise blind dates inviting their young cohorts over to dinner when you come out for a visit...

Not that she has done that recently... She does want me to visit again soon, but I have to be out there on a Sunday night... Which implies that the same thing may be going to occur... Last time was a disaster, mainly because I drank a lot of wine, then proceeded to go to bed straight after the meal...

 

[Mary Poppins]

romanticism vs. sentimentalism

I have recently been giving some thought to the concept of romanticism vs. sentimentalism. I would describe myself as a cynical romantic, but I simply cannot abide excessive sentiment.

Sure, of course it's your prerogative to do coupley lovey-dovey things – no-one can completely resist entirely, but I just find it scary when those superficial elements threaten to take over, or make up the majority of the relationship. I mean doing fun stuff for your s/o’s b’day, or even just silly spontaneous stuff – fine! But I’m talking couples that you feel uncomfortable being around because they’re just totally OTT!

My ex-housemate/best friend and his boyfriend are a great example -- when they first started dating, practically every moment apart was spent planning these little presents and treats for each other - and that's all fine and good, and I'm sure it made them happy, but as far as I could see, it left barely any time for them to actually get to know each other. Being somewhat candid, I mentioned this to him and at the time he wouldn't have a bar of it. A year later, they are o/s together and he e-mails me telling me I was right all along, and now that the honeymoon phase is over, he realises how little all that crap meant, and how it was so not indicative of their actual r/ship.

And I guess this, after the initial bittersweet glow of being right about that kind of thing subsided, prompted me to think about how though I appreciate people who are sensitive, attaching unnecessary meaning to absolutely everything just makes me want to stab my eyes out with the fakeness of it all.

I even made a mathematical formula for it: when saccharine > sensitivity = sentimentalism

so yeah, I guess what I'm wondering whether other people love all those sentimental parts of relationships, or whether it makes you feel slightly nauseous?

 

[Shnouzerpuff]

I ~love it~ when it is happening to me...

getting little gifts and having in-jokes etc...

But I fucking *HATE* seeing other couples do it in public. As a result I try my hardest to never ever be like that when I am with the girl and other people are around.

Great to experience. Nauseating to watch.

 

[iamtha1]

I try never to be OTT sentimental in front of other people, I think I've just been on the single-side viewing that kind of thing way too much and it is just completely uncomfortable.

When by yourselves is fine - knock yourself out.
But it's like playing in front of an audience when in front of your friends, and none of them really want to hear all those lovey dovey names you've made up in private. :D

 

[m4dd0g]

I think OTT sentimentality is about trying to prop up a s/o insecurities about how you feel.

When it becomes the rule you know there are some serious (trust?) issues in the relationship

unique and spontaneous = good
expected pattern = bad

Oh .. baby talk in public makes me want to vomit so hard people would think Im possessed
(unless its in pulp fiction honey bunny)