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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

doofqueen - i think your right, the 'talk' might have pushed him away a bit. I can't be bothered going back to check, did YOU initiate the talk and ask him to be in a relationship? And he agreed to that? Or did HE suggest it?

4 dates in 6 weeks is 2/3 which would be perfectly acceptable if you were dating. He might still be considering it as that. I would wait to see if he contacts you, if he doesn't then it prolly wouldn't be wise to keep chasing.. just try n get your mind on something else and see how things pan out.

Anyway, i went over this chicks house tonite i met thru work (1st time id properly met her, she got my number of a coworker) n she had a few ppl over. Was a fun evening but was kinda hard to get any definite vibes from her cos there were a few ppl round.. there was alot of laughing all round which is a good sign, i think she's pretty shy though. We shall see what happens....

Adikkal
 
Ultraphine. Dude... "edit" button right there under your name. Postcount is not that important.

Back on-topic for just a moment (actually not back on-topic, I just like stories). Speaking of people calling your mobile and accusing you of shagging their girlfriend...

~~~~ wavy lines ~~~~

A male friend of MrsCoaster's comes out with us for a tripping pic-a-nic in the park. It's a beautiful day, it's his and his mate's first acid, the microdots are kicking in nicely. Frisbees and giggling and tasty beer. So this guy's phone rings, and he sort of stares at it open-mouthed for a second, then walks off into the distance and answers it. Looks totally nonplussed when he comes back. We badger him until he tells us about what he got up to the night before.

~~~ more wavy lines ~~~~

Turns out there's this girl at work, see, and he's had a thing for her for ages but she lives with her boyfriend - it's a bad idea. Problem being, our boy is tall, handsome and utterly charming - it goes without saying that, since she's a heterosexual female, she has a thing for him too.

Work drinks the night before, clubbing, late night... you get the picture. Crazy drunken shagging on his kitchen floor until dawn, when it's really time for her to head home. At which point, he realises something is not cool here - she has these big, livid scratches on her body. He's pretty sure he didn't do it, it's not his style, but they're undeniably there. Shit shit shit.

So he wakes up the next day, steeply overhanging, to a message on his phone (which he plays to us, in the course of his explanation). It's from her boyfriend. To the tune of "I'm just looking at [girl's name here] with her top off, and there's these huge scratches all over her. Which I'm sure you put there while you were fucking my girlfriend's brains out last night. I want to talk to you, and if you haven't got the guts to meet me, then I'm going to come to your place of work and sort if out there."

~~~~ wavy lines back to the first set ~~~~

Our friend doesn't reply to this, and instead, comes out with us, tripping in the park. The phonecall he's just recieved is from the girl's mother: "Um, I was just wondering if you'd seen [girl] today, she's gone missing."

So this scatty woman has gotten drunk, shagged [guy], got home, confessed to her boyfriend given his phone humber to said boyfriend and anyone else she can think of, then skipped town.

Nice one.

Given that it was his first ever trip, and the acid was moderately strong, I thought he handled it pretty well!
 
Adikkal said:
doofqueen - i think your right, the 'talk' might have pushed him away a bit. I can't be bothered going back to check, did YOU initiate the talk and ask him to be in a relationship? And he agreed to that? Or did HE suggest it?

4 dates in 6 weeks is 2/3 which would be perfectly acceptable if you were dating. He might still be considering it as that. I would wait to see if he contacts you, if he doesn't then it prolly wouldn't be wise to keep chasing.. just try n get your mind on something else and see how things pan out.

Click to expand...

Yeah it was me that asked him what he wanted but it was just a casual kind of "so where do you see us going with this?" kind of thing. I didn't actually ask him to be in a relationship , rather just asked how he saw what we were doing and HIS answer was that he sees it as a gf/bf thing and would prefer i didn't see other people (but if i met someone that i thought would be more important to me then he couldn't stop me) so basically i asked and he said "yes we are but not series" because we also live nearly an hrs drive away from each other and can only see each other on weekends BUt he also has other things on on the weekends too so not EVERY weekend.

He's always so keen to make plans and do stuff though and he used to call all the time early on and then the phone calls kinda of twindled *sigh*

I'll send him an email tommorow asking flat out if he has lost his phone or if he just hasn't had time for me and then that's it! If i don't hear from him by phone or email after that i'm not chasing anymore.

I hate chasing! I make them chase me damn it! Fuck this!

It's not like him to just put me off like this though. He's really thoughtful and sweet and polite so it's really out of character for him. Maybe he's met someone else and can't bring himself to tell me?

I'm hoping he's just lost his phone! 8)
 
muzby said:
can i just offer some advice to those of you who are down and out about being single...

don't get hung up about it, and definately try not to do whatever you can to stop being single.. and dont get desperate...


girls can smell desperation a mile away, and will avoid you like the plague... guys on the other hand will always go near a desperate chick if they are drunk... or coming off freebase...

i'm single, i hate it, but when i look at things, i dont have the time for a partner anyways, so its more fun just to go out with friends, be myself and occasionally pick up on a nite out... i know that i am a good catch, but i'm not just going to settle for anyone out there...

so my advice is: forget moping about being single, be proud, take pride in your apperance... go buy some new clothes (afterall, its the packaging that attracts people to the products..) get a haircut, start socialising in new areas.. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!!! thats the best way to meet new people!!!!!

each person is special in their own right and shouldnt just give yourself up to anyone...

afterall, you are more of a catch to the opposite sex if you are very picky on who you choose... cause then, not only do u feel special cause u will have someone, you will make your future partner feel special too, cause it means that she/he stands out from the rest...


/end plurry muzby...
Click to expand...


Wonderfully put!!

I guess I dont mind being single, but then I do mind it because I just love being around someone I care about alot and sharing things, but when your single sharing is hard when you dont have anybody around to do it with...
 
Doofqueen: i say be careful... its the nice ones that can often find it too hard to tell you what they really want so they opt out. Hope it all works out though :)

Joellercoaster: WoW. Yeah that is quite a story.

As for me i'm getting sicker and sicker of being single...(specially when its night time, its cold, your standing outside, and you dont have anyone to warm you up). And standards are a good thing i think. we all have them in some shape or form anyway. You gotta listen to your impressions of the person, whether there on your level or not, cos if you dont for one reason or another you end up getting rolled.
 
Why Raz is likely to be in this thread forever

I go into this at much more length in my journal (which is www.livejournal.com/users/psychonaut_raz for anyone interested plug plug), but I've realised recently that I'm not a relationship person.

I'm with a guy at the moment (as "with" as I've been with anyone in the past 4 years anyway), but already things are cooling down....even though I've only known him a couple of weeks and we've only had (great) sex twice.

I don't think I'm a relationship person because the one that I have been in was not good for me. We were totally codependent,we had no lives outside of making sure the other person was happy, we had no individual identity. In short, I don't like who I am when I'm that person. And I don't think all relationships are like that, but I think maybe my relationships are like that. So I'm falling back on the old motto of my friends supply all my emotional needs and I have random strangers for sex.

Who knows, maybe one day some guy will come along to magically turn it all round, but until then I'm happy being the local neighbourhood manwhore. :)
 
Well i sent an email, got a response last night. Hes had a bar put on his ph because he hasnt paid his bill due to lots of dental work, has had hard drive problems and we talked last night and after some drunken dirty talk hes still keen to see me

yay =D

man i got myself all worked up over nothing :p
 
sorry syl but
somthing new there??

you got to start being more trusting
not let yourself think the worst all the time

hugz
good that he still intrested
 
excuse me? what are you talking about? i am generally TOO trusting and tend to always be optimistic so i don't know where your getting that from. Maybe you don't know me as well as you thought you did?
 
You just stated you got yourself worked up over nothing. And magpi just said 'all good that he is still interested' and you seem to be someone peeved about it? Make up your mind on how you feel/felt
 
sorry syl was only a gental jibing

you have done it once or twice before since we have known each other not all the time

im on your side hun realy i am

just a littel jaded at the mo about stuff
 
i deserve to be single forever...

well, lets give an update on my situation...


i went out for drinks with this girl from work (who was the one who was sending me big birthday balloon things and notes and stuff to me anonymously...) but me being the emotional retard i am, had to invite other people along, so i wouldnt feel so uncomfortable..

and basically, during the course of the night, i told her i don't want to follow anything through, cause of the whole "work together" issue (done it before, and it always ends up messy..) plus, she's pretty much told everyone at work that she's keen.. and so the others that i was out with were saying i should go for it...

anyway, the girl ends up leaving, a little upset... i stay on and keep drinking....

and end up going home with one of the other girls from work.... 8o 8o

so basically, i have broken the heart of a really nice, sweet girl who i do have a lot in common with, and then gone against everything i said to her as to reasons why we shouldnt be together by fucking one of the other girls from work.. plus, girl no. 1 is cute, but not all that attractive, if you know wot i mean.. its her personality that makes her attractive to me... but girl no. 2 it was pretty much a physical thing, so now i'm worried that i mite give girl no. 1 a complex....

to make matters worse, they both work under me, and both have to work together, so i think i've started a rift...

i am such a fucking idiot sometimes, and i'm going straight to hell.....

:(
 
^ It was a shitty thing to do. Now, you are in control of your behaviour so you can do one of two things:

Either keep treating women like crap; or
Change.

No offence, but I've been hurt one too many times by guys like you and all it does is perpetuate a cycle of people treating each other badly.

Disclaimer: This is not anti-male by any means, women are just as guilty of this kind of thing.
 
*sunflower* said:
you can do one of two things:

Either keep treating women like crap; or
Change.
Click to expand...

the sad part about it, i've tried to change numerous times....

its a subconcious thing and i cant seem to get outta it...

its really sad, but subconciously, i dont wanna get hurt, so i hurt first. i hate it, and a wanna change it... but dammit, its hard...

ah well, girl no1 seems okay about it for some reason.. (had a chat tonite..) so will keep ya updated if ya want....
 
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