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Bluelight Singles thread "Living without justification" Part 2

Nicely written Macksta - I agree wholeheartedly.

But then again, can we really blame entertainment? I think a larger problem is the fact that the majoirty of society believes that entertainment accurately reflects real life. Entertainment has some basis in real life, but what makes it entertaining is that it take creative license and creates fantasys. I tend to think that the reinforcement of these fairy tale relationships has a big part to play in the way alot of men act towards women.

Think about it. Alot of our knowledge comes from experience, the rest of it supplemented by what we see on TV or in movies. With the extent that these entertainment mediums pervade our daily lives, it's only expected that we will look to them for guidance, hoping that we can learn something from them. The problem is we do learn from them and we learn the patterns so well that we think thats how it works. We'll spend years repeating wussy behaviour, being overly nice and romantic because thats how they do it in the movies and wonder why the hell it doesn't work.

Adikkal
 
why is being nice bad? I like nice boys....especially ones that like to be dirty hehehe =D

and you know what? it's always the quiet ones that go off in the sack ;) hehe
 
Hey Im a nice girl.

-Im a good listner
-I dont smoke at all.
-I do want to travel. Backpacking asia in the next two years is on the cards
-I can be a bit of a bitch at times but hey Im only human but Im not as catty as alot of people - no names mentioned Im not that kinda person. and besides I know the mods will delete it.
-When I get back from my travels back to uni for more study I have ambition believe it or not.

I know what people say about me on these boards behind my back but thankfully Im the person they will never be. Im not stupid and I hate liars.

Unfortunatly Ive met alot of wankers in sydney. Its been a case of bad luck or bad timing, well come to think of it both mostly.
 
Macksta said:
I reckon if you're a nice guy, but also a real smart ass then that probably makes you more interesting.
Click to expand...

well, take out smartass and replace with cheeky and this sort of approach works for me!! :)


seeing as most girls love an asshole (dont deny it girls, its true!!) its the perfect way to be an inbetween...

treat em sweet, then occasionally give em a few cheeky remarks... keeps them on their toes and also keeps em second guessing, as sometimes they dont know if you are serious or wot...

it just goes back to the good old days of school, if you pull her pigtails, it means you like her....

its just back in kindergarten, the girls didnt carry mace or kick you in the balls if you do it... ;) ;)
 
doofqueen said:
why is being nice bad?
Click to expand...

I think its that the guy who gets labeled "nice guy" is often the guy who is so polite and agreeable that he does not present his own point of view and therefore cannot arouse much interest in people.
And most people, especially women it seems, like to be challenged.

But that doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. You can still be a compassionate and understanding person and be interesting.
However, generally speaking, a guy who is a bit of an asshole is still probably gonna be more interesting than an overly-polite "nice guy".
 
I like polite boys. I like sensitive boys. I like boys who are cheeky yet respectful. I like boys who can state their own opinion too. I know LOTS of nice guys who aren't pushovers.
 
i think much of my problem (not, perhaps, as much as my insecurities, but it still can't help) is my refusal to be anything apart from what i am...i don't act cheeky, or like a prick, or nice, or like a smartarse or anything...i just tend to act the same around anyone and everyone: what you see is what you get :)

obviously though, this isn't the best tactic for impressing the opposite sex, but i guess i've just never been into the whole mating ritual thing.

i swear this has been done a million times before though :)
 
^^ being who you are and being confident at it is very appealing :) Fake people can be spotted a mile away and they are turn offs imo
 
I'm in two minds.

On one hand I think any 'tactic' used to attract the opposite sex is stupid because it's kind of like deceiving people into liking you. I just feel that people who mould themselves to those around them [which I'm guilty of at times] will really struggle to find someone they completely relate to because they always feel like they have to be putting up a front, putting on a mask or playing some game to be liked.

On the other hand, if you don't ever do anything to try and attract someone else then the person who is perfect for you may not even notice you. And it's all well and good for people to say 'oh the right person will come along in the end' but that's absolute and complete fairy tale bullshit. It's like Macksta said, there are millions of people who will live and die alone and I can't help but think it's because they didn't make the effort to get out there and chase someone or meet enough people or take a risk.

So maybe there is nothing wrong with a few games to initially attract someone, as long as it doesn't mean you're trying to create a completely different persona.
 
but what of those that dont belive that they have any thing and still cant work out why they get lucky??
 
OMG game playing, i hate it so bad...

I once hooked up with this guy who would have to wait at least 4 hours before replying to an sms... funny thing was he was always the first one to message me... id usually reply like a normal person in the next say 15-20 minutes... but no not him, i mean you wouldnt want to come across as even slightly interested now would you...

Needless to say it didn't work out, and it gets to the point where you go wait, why do i constantly attract (and am attracted to; extremely important to note) the wrong type of guys...? i've come up with this... at the risk of sounding like a dick, but fuck it, i really believe its true. Anyway, i think that your never going to find the right person for you until you learn to appreciate and accept who you are *completely* to your very core.

But yes... i myself realise that i'm not quite there yet but hope that i'm getting a little closer as time goes on...
 
Hang on, let me get this straight. He would message you first [implying interest] but then he wouldn't reply to your reply until a suitable amount of time had passed in case it looked like he was hanging for your reply?

That's not game playing. That's just a low IQ.
 
^^ Yep, game playing from a guy with low iq

OH, and some of the girls that put: has to be a DJ at the top of their list...my god i hope you were joking.

No matter what some may tell you *THEIR NOT GODS*
Burp and fart just like all the rest of us.... sorry, but had to be said again maybe, im too lazy and didnt read all the posts
 
They probably can't get lucky because they don't believe they have anything to offer. Confidence provides the magnifer for others to see/ notice you as someone worth investigation.

I have a huge thing against games, the hint of any pre-meditated/ designed approach, 'keep em keen' or manipulative tactic makes me feel physically ill and is followed by a 'fuck off' in close succession. Falseness and being something you're not, also fall into this category.

But I'm the first to acknowledge that some aspects of my personality aren't particularly effective in convincing X that I'm an all round great girl. Thats where being selective with my personality comes in, or rather pushing particular aspects of me. In the same way I play down my competitive side in a 'touchy feely' work environment or push my natural organiser side when mates can't decide what the fuck to do, I'll play off the other person and push whatever sides of me click well with the person I'm interested in.

The rest of me is still very much there and visable, but I'm not going to draw attention to the clashes until there are we've both found and enjoyed what clicks between us. (And why waste perfectly good arguments and resulting make up sex, early on ;)

I'm still looking for that guy who's confident without being cocky, is determined and ambitious to shape his life exactly to his liking (whatever that may be), is independent yet cherishes the special moments that being in love creates, who can make me laugh, isn't a pushover and who is most of all, happy.

I know its a list and a half, but a girl can dream hey :\

In the meantime - what does a girl have to do to get an invite to this jelly wrestling singles party ;)
 
Originally posted by miss slingshot
I'm still looking for that guy who's confident without being cocky, is determined and ambitious to shape his life exactly to his liking (whatever that may be), is independent yet cherishes the special moments that being in love creates, who can make me laugh, isn't a pushover and who is most of all, happy.

I know its a list and a half, but a girl can dream hey :\

Best list ever. I'll second it but add that I don't care if he's not happy. He can be as morose as he likes because it will probably help him deal with my more sombre moods. ;)

Note to self: Making every second post in the singles thread will not get you laid.
 
Start little single rant: I'm really sick of guys being scared of me as I don't fit their typical 'nice girl mould'. Yes I wear chunky jewelry & stomping boots, say what I think and am always planning/ heading off on crazy life missions, but that does not make me a psycho bitch from hell.

I'm sick of being told i'm great but just 'too imtimidating'! Those who know me know I'm all marshmallow centers, its frustrating when everyone assumes by exterior (and interior) is as hard and spiky as my accessories can sometimes be.
End single life rant
 
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